jgregory4614 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Ive been coping well since our seperation until yesterday. Its been hard to stay NC when we have 3 childeren. I have the kids every other weekend. I picked them up yesterday and on our way home my two oldest girls tell me that mommys boss comes over everyday. Ive met this guy before while my wife and I were together. He just moved a few months ago from out of state with his wife and 4 older childeren. My wife is 27 and hes at least in his mid 50's. Hes not an attractive man at all! I really dont understand what she sees in this guy. Shes not a gold digger so I know its not about the money. The kids tell me he helps mommy cook and He helps my kids go to bed at night. I cant stand to think about this f***** holding my kids! I want to beat this dudes face in when I see him! Its hard not to find out this info when my kids just tell me out the blue without asking. They're kids and they dont know any better! I dont know if im asking for advice on this or if I just want to get all of this off my chest.
Dreamless Sleep Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I've been separated about the same amount of time as well. Although the relationship was killed well before that. I struggle with her being so happy emotionally and physically with someone else. I feel like I was robbed of that opportunity for years. Sometimes I think that I have to compete to find some sort of soul mate quickly. The rational side of me says 'she's crazy and who cares. I wasn't happy with her nor she with me.' Mostly though I am jealous that he gets to start fresh with her. Her new guy is coming out of his second marriage and lives 5 hours away, so we'll see what happens. The kids now know that she started this relationship before I moved out. She told them that she was seeing someone. The kids realized that they had met him about a month before we officially separated. It has probably strained her relationship with the kids. They resent that their mother skips out of town constantly and misses events etc. I catch crap from the kids about the disruption to their routines. Fun times. I find it hard to accept all of the changes and disruption. Imagining my ex being intimate with someone else is gut wrenching. Some days I have such chest heaviness. I'm not through it either. But everyday it's a little better. As far as anger at the other guy. I get a bit pissed. But she is ultimately culpable. Good luck
Author jgregory4614 Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 Im sorry you have to go through this too. It makes things more difficult to deal with when they are seeing someone else. I really dont see my W and this guy working a long term relationship out. It looks like a rebound to me. I dont understand how she could find this guy attractive!
Dreamless Sleep Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I think the guy my ex is seeing is physically more attractive than me. That's not any better. Just another way to torture ourself.
xxsnowbunnyxx Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Maybe it's a power thing. She's attracted to him because he is her boss... I've been separated for 6 weeks now. He was the one who left me. At first there was talk of us just living separate for awhile and then trying to work things out but as time passes I'm starting to see that it is probably well on the way to being over. It kills me inside. I have a feeling he seeing someone else but I have no proof. I'm sure I could figure it out but if I knew the truth I'm afraid of what it would do to me. I have already endured more than I can handle. I'm just sitting back trying to do NC (mostly unsuccessful) and wait to see if he will eventually miss me and want to try and work things out. I'm hoping that the NC though will help fully heal me so that I can look at things rationally instead of emotionally and really evaluate whether I should ever take him back...
Author jgregory4614 Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 I thought about that too snowbunny. It could be a power thing. Im sorry about your situation and I hope hope everything works out. Im thinking about telling the mans wife about him and my wife's relationship. Ive met het once before. I know what town they live in which is nearby. I just have to find a way to get in Touch with her.
TripLine Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 I thought about that too snowbunny. It could be a power thing. Im sorry about your situation and I hope hope everything works out. Im thinking about telling the mans wife about him and my wife's relationship. Ive met het once before. I know what town they live in which is nearby. I just have to find a way to get in Touch with her. If I were you I would. No boss should be at a workers house help cooking.
Author jgregory4614 Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Ok, i have the man's wifes phone number. Im not going to contact her just yet. Me and my wife have been seperated for 3 months so far and we also get along great mainly because of our 3 kids. She doesnt know that I know about her manager coming every evening helping with MY kids. I have the kids over for the weekend at my place and ill be returning them to my W later this evening. Im going to tell her what I know and how iiresponsible it is for her to let a another man in our chiliderens life taking my postion as a father figure. I need some advice on how to present it to her without making her angry but at the sametime make her second guess what she is doing is wrong. Any advice would help.
g450 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Why does she need help with the kids? Is she really that incompetent? And YOU are still the father. Why call some other womans husband for that? I call BS on this. She is simply having an affair IMO and is using the kids as an excuse.
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