Eternal Sunshine Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I have lately experienced a number of guys who send a string of messages in a row without waiting for my reply. This is usually in form of text or e-mail. Say for example, 5 texts in a day without waiting for me to reply to the first one. Even if I consider replying, further messages make me think that either the guy is desperate or insane. 1
Fitnerd Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I agree, part of the dating game is patience, especially when texting! And avoiding looking desperate/clingy/needy is very important. I usually wait a day before sending another text if I got no reply to the first.
Spartan039 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Yeah agreed. That's ridiculous and sounds too clingy. I find that now that I am actually truly busy, I really do take like 1/2 a day to 1 day to respond to a girl's text (well sometimes I respond quick if I have free time). And of course, after she responds.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Get off the internet and meet men in real life Even though I first met my boyfriend online, we really hit things off through text. I can't imagine what it's like to still have to email back and forth and waiting for replies. The best thing to do is progress things through text and calls. If you have to resort to waiting games, you're better off not playing them at all. 2
yongyong Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 how busy are you? you don't have a time to pull out the phone and txt back? are you like a stock trader who has to be glued to the monitor? do you get fired if you check your phone at a job? The thing is people like this 'oh I replied in 6 hours, what's the big deal?' won't appreciate slow replies either! Yeah agreed. That's ridiculous and sounds too clingy. I find that now that I am actually truly busy, I really do take like 1/2 a day to 1 day to respond to a girl's text (well sometimes I respond quick if I have free time). And of course, after she responds. 2
Spartan039 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 errr sorry i don't want to delineate from the original poster. -_______- Ok I am not like a stock trader or something but I work in a research lab (when I'm not in class) and we'll do procedures or multiple procedures that could take anywhere from 3-7 hours depending on the agenda for the day and when I need to have quality results to present to my boss. Obv I can't text or risk contamination on the experiment. Of course if I was desperate to text that my life depended on it, I could always take off the stuff and take my phone out and stop whatever I am doing which is generally not a good idea but I've done it before. Other times I just think about too many things, such as class, tests, when/what to eat, how much time I can put in to study that day & from when to when, when I need to get to work, when I should hit the gym, etc. Texting back just gets pushed back.
rocketman122 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 texting hours to reply to my text is a big turn off. if you work in a Rlab then im guessing the woman know this and you tell them its not on purpose and you'll get to them as soon as youre free. so thats a special situation, but any other person im dating who takes more than an hour to get back to me, and we have no more contact after that. I have zero tolerance for stupid dating/mind games. its disrespectful and it says who you are as a person and how you'll act in the relationship. how fkking hard is it to text "saw your text. swamped with work sweetheart, i'll get back to you asap-mwaa!" im as straight as they come. when I get a text, I reply back within a reasonable time which is less than an hour and most times on the spot. thats what girls love about me. wysiwyg with me.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 I am talking about initial stages of dating. Something like "Hey how is your day?" 30 mins later: "Did cat bite your fingers off :)" (so f-ing annoying) 3
Pompom Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 (edited) I hate such types. One creep sent me a message around midnight (online), I decided I take care of it the next day as I was just preparing for bed. The next morning, I found 2 more messages, all three spaced 30 minutes apart. What is wrong with these people? They were clearly impatient. The second one went "Am I too old for you?" and the third "Hellloooooooooooooo?". From a 45-year-old this is creepy. A 12-year-old acting that way, okay. But 45? I just find it perfectly normal that I do NOT wish to have some rrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiing disrupt my activity or lack thereof every other minute. It's annoying and besieging. I make one exception because I love the guy and I like when he's being impatient when it comes to seeing me. He sends up to 3 texts a minute. But we're past sex and swallowing, so it's kind of excused by our closeness. A stranger however, sitting in my neck insisting I drop everything and torture myself with the tiny buttons of my Smartphone touch screen NOW IMMEDIATELY, is being beyond rude. Two - including above creep and another otherwise nice guy - thought they should continue after I answered their first text - "What are you up to?" - with "At work, bit busy". Whoever pooped in their brains and forgot to flush, owes me an apology. Whatever does not include voice, does not obligate me to be all real-time. its disrespectful and it says who you are as a person and how you'll act in the relationship. No, because at that point there is no relationship It's 2 strangers considering to get to know one-another. You think I treat strangers the same as loved ones? Edited September 22, 2012 by Pompom
DuchessKaye Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Happened to me many times before. And yeah, that's annoying. Like, Him: Hi, how is your day doing? I had fun going out with you last night, hope we can do it again sometime. What do you say? 5 minutes later "Hey, hope you didn't forget to take your phone out of your pocket before you put it on the laundry." 5 minutes later "Are you okay?" 5 minutes later "I don't think it'll hurt if you acknowledged my texts..." Me: Calm the f.uck down! It's only been friggin 20 minutes! 1
oaks Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I have lately experienced a number of guys who send a string of messages in a row without waiting for my reply. This is usually in form of text or e-mail. Say for example, 5 texts in a day without waiting for me to reply to the first one. Even if I consider replying, further messages make me think that either the guy is desperate or insane. Yes, annoying. I've had a few people do this to me. Right now I have the opposite problem... not getting enough between-date communication from a woman (and, no, I'm not blowing up her phone with texts). Frustrating!
tigressA Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Ugh, I hate that. It's happened to me with online dating too, though--in the initial messaging stage. There was this one guy who was out of my age range, pushing 40, and he sent me multiple messages without any response from me. There was also a 60-yr-old guy who did the same thing...what is it with these much older guys?
runner Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 this fast food lifestyle we have these days is ridiculous, and is making people crazy i think. i have to really focus on what i'm doing (professionally) and purposely do put on the 'do not disturb' shield, every once in a while. if someone has a problem with me responding six hours later, then they have a problem with me responding six hours later. get a fecking grip. some people just don't get the notion of 'ball is in my court'. if you didn't really want it there, then don't fecking toss the ball in the first place. /rant over 3
BetheButterfly Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I am talking about initial stages of dating. Something like "Hey how is your day?" 30 mins later: "Did cat bite your fingers off :)" (so f-ing annoying) That would be annoying. Personally, I question the ability of texting to help people truly connect. When my husband and I were getting to know each other before actually dating, we texted once in a while but mainly we called each other and talked for hours every day. That's what knitted our bond. I think texting is way too impersonal and doesn't do much good in the getting to know someone process or dating process. However, hearing each other's voices and communicating on a more personal and natural level does help create a good connection. Even today, my hubby and I don't text much. We talk to each other every day for at least an hour though and when he's at work (like right now) we sometimes call each other to say hi and we miss each other and how is your day. I did get mad at him once when he said he was working and couldn't talk. He also understands that if he's busy, he shouldn't answer me but instead let me leave a lovey-dovey message. We learned that lesson in the first month of marriage lol. So anyways, I would encourage simply letting go guys who don't put a natural and more personable effort in getting to know you. If a guy calls and you don't want to talk to him, question if you would really like to spend everyday with the man. When my hubby would call me before we were dating, I was all butterflies and jumping over chairs to reach my cell. I hope very much that soon a wonderful man comes into your life who truly knows what love is and loves and accepts you for the beautiful and amazing lady you are!!! 2
Art_Critic Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Obviously, you dated a guy you did not like one bit. There is something to that..providing they saw the texts when they came in... I think if a person likes another and the text comes in they reply in a fairly quick fashion unless they are otherwise disposed.. like in a meeting.. or they walked away from their phone and say left it on their desk... But.. it also shows desperation on the other parties side to keep sending text after text...
veggirl Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Obviously, you dated a guy you did not like one bit. The truth is that if you meet someone you REALLy like and they show interest you are happy to be reciprocated. I am excluding clinginess. Yeah both of those are true of both those posters I think, and also in general. If you really like the guy, you won't be turned off by excited contact. Granted those messages sound clingy and it's likely a turn off even if you were attracted BECAUSE they come from OLD where it's probably safe to assume more people have mega issues than don't
truth_seeker Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 (edited) I have lately experienced a number of guys who send a string of messages in a row without waiting for my reply. This is usually in form of text or e-mail. Say for example, 5 texts in a day without waiting for me to reply to the first one. Even if I consider replying, further messages make me think that either the guy is desperate or insane. Question: are you doing anything or giving these men reason to send these messages, other than them being impatient? Edited September 22, 2012 by truth_seeker
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted September 23, 2012 Author Posted September 23, 2012 Question: are you doing anything or giving these men reason to send these messages, other than them being impatient? Nothing. I am just doing my own thing. Or there are guys that are completely unimaginative & coming on way too strong. Heya whats up? 20 mins later How are you? 10 mins later Hi. 1 hour later: What u up too? 2 hours late: Hey hey, what's up? :sick:
bob the brave Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 i don't text. call me or forget it. 1
ascendotum Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Ah the burden of being sexy. These guys are really keen for you girls. Sometimes what one person considers enthusiasm can be considered desperate for others. DKs example of string of txts, now thats desperate, and hilarious. Hey hey, what's up? Its better than Hey wazzup! Just direct them to your twitter feed ES if they want the latest updates.
Imported Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Swingers is such a great movie and this scene kinda relates Oh and :):):bunny::bunny::bunny::rolleyes::rolleyes::p:p:laugh::laugh::D:D:love::love::love::o:o:eek::eek::rolleyes::rolleyes::laugh::laugh::laugh::cool::cool::p:p:p
Imported Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Hey hey, what's up? Its better than Hey wazzup! Just direct them to your twitter feed ES if they want the latest updates. I'd have gone with: What kinda underwear do you have on right now? 10 minutes later: Please say granny panties!:bunny: 5 minutes later: Send me a pic!
Necris Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Come on ES! If you are really into a guy the above words are well received. It is not the texting or the topic. It is all about dating undesirables. I agree the men that annoy her are just undesirable to her, if she wanted to be with a guy and thought he was super cool, I doubt a few text messages asking her if she was okay and had a good time is going to bother her in the slightest. From the perspective of a guy like myself if a woman I really wanted to be with sent me a few text messages I'm not going to be annoyed at all, in fact I'd be delighted to hear from her again, and try to respond quickly. Though I can see how it would be annoying if someone you never wanted to see again was calling you and sending text messages. 1
Fitnerd Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 Rules, rules, and more rules. Rules about other rules. Endless maze of rules and at the end NOTHING to show for it. People OLD is a joke. Pierre, I wasn't talking about OLD (and if the OP was, I got confused then) but really just texting (though a phone!) in general. I like to use texting after getting a girl's number (in an outside world setting lol) to make her feel a bit comfortable around me before going for the meet-up or smthng.
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