plazmatic Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 (edited) girl: dated guy A for 1 year, they broke up 3 months ago because she felt like he was cheating on her (found girl clothing at his place). enter guy B, a guy in my class, they talk, it's long distance but he breaks it off with her for some reason. they had a history prior to her dating guy A. enter me: as she was ending it with guy B, i told her that i wanted to take her on a date, nothing crazy, no pressure. she says no, just want to be friends. we continue to hang out. she finalizes the ending with guy B. we still hang. a few drinks, then we cuddle. a couple days later, we sex. things are going gravy, no pressure, no talks of relationships. she would do things like look up how tall our babies would be (weird) and how our mixed babies would look like (I'm asian, she's white). she says things like "i've never broken up with my bf" so as to reassure me that she's not playing around. I'm like, ok no big deal, just roll with it, she's pretty cool. for about a month, we talked about everything under the sun, our past and whatnot. i told her I've cheated, I've done illegal things, pretty much I've been a bad person but I'm different now and intend to start things off right this time around. note: she's bipolar, depressed a lot. always asks me 'what if this doesn't go away, what if I'm never happy' a. 1 week before "the talk" - we start talking about what makes her happy or what can make her happy. she says nothing. a lot of back and forth between me and her and i eventually get frustrated and raise my voice. she says i yelled her, i disagreed but apologized. things are smoothed over, or so i thought. the next few days, she doesn't text/call me. b. the fake talk - up until this point, we were talking and recently she said we were dating. i took her out to dinner, she was noticeably stand-offish. we get to dinner and she says that the fact that i yelled at her and that i seem a bit possessive scared her. she wants to take a step back. i explain my side. she seems calmer and we have dinner/movie. at the end of the night, she kisses me and apologizes for yelling at me at dinner (which i don't think she did) c. the talk - after apologizing, we don't really talk. a few days after the fake talk, i ask her for my charger i left at her place. she says it's not a problem, we can meet for lunch. i asked if i can pick her up, she says no, we'll just meet there. we get to lunch, she says that there are fundamental things that prevents her from being in a relationship with me: trust, referring to my past, and that she felt pressured to be in a relationship with me. she continually asks if I'm upset, i say "no, we've only been talking for a month, it's no big deal" ... she asks if we can still be friends or if she can text me. i say "you need to do what you need to do to be happy, i do too. i don't know how ill respond if you text or call me" d. after the talk - she doesn't contact me at all. a week after the talk, i ask her to lunch and a study session. we're both in grad school and studying for a huge huge exam. she says no, she wants to bunker down and study for this text next week. i said, ok good luck. e. my thoughts - this girl and i have a lot in common, our childhood/relationships. she stopped it cold turkey and i can't wrap my head around completely ignoring a person you talked to everyday, saw almost every other day and had an intimate relationship with. i was either a rebound rebound, i scared her away, or something. no idea. it really sucks, i want something with this girl but it's a two-way street. thoughts? thanks for reading. Edited September 22, 2012 by plazmatic
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