tryandenjoyit Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 (edited) My ex-gf and I have been dating 6 months. Those 6 months were some of the happiest 6 months I have ever had. Unfortunately, like any relationship it had it's ups and downs. Due to my inexperience and her being my first real gf, my ex gf had total control over the relationship. I have broken up with her multiple times and its always over something not worth breaking up for. However, we always make up 1 day later. Recently, we had a massive fight and she kept on threatening to break up, I said just do it then, don't say it and I urged her to do it if she felt like it. I was very sad when she actually agreed to this. I told her not to contact me(last time we made up, she rang me and I answered.) Its been 3 days of no contact and I couldn't help but send a message to her telling her I missed her and asking if we had really broken up.(earlier, she said she didn't want to break up because she loved me). She still hasn't replied to my message and I don't expect her to. Do you think she will reply? What should i do next? Ive decided to give a time frame of a couple of days, if she still doesn't reply, I am going to move on even though I still love her. Is this the right thing to do? Edited September 22, 2012 by tryandenjoyit
todreaminblue Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 My ex-gf and I have been dating 6 months. Those 6 months were some of the happiest 6 months I have ever had. Unfortunately, like any relationship it had it's ups and downs. Due to my inexperience and her being my first real gf, my ex gf had total control over the relationship. I have broken up with her multiple times and its always over something not worth breaking up for. However, we always make up 1 day later. Recently, we had a massive fight and she kept on threatening to break up, I said just do it then, don't say it and I urged her to do it if she felt like it. I was very sad when she actually agreed to this. I told her not to contact me(last time we made up, she rang me and I answered.) Its been 3 days of no contact and I couldn't help but send a message to her telling her I missed her and asking if we had really broken up.(earlier, she said she didn't want to break up because she loved me). She still hasn't replied to my message and I don't expect her to. Do you think she will reply? What should i do next? Ive decided to give a time frame of a couple of days, if she still doesn't reply, I am going to move on even though I still love her. Is this the right thing to do? Phones are crap(mine is anyway) you should never and i mean never break up over the phone or especially sending texts deal with it in the old fashioned way the right way go see her talk it out if it ends it ends.....breaking up, making up or even dating should be done face to face.......and i have this belief all of these should end with a hug.Its closure good or bad....a no regrets and a true ending either way of the fight that closes a book, the make up or the continuation of a relationship.....its a belief i hold and stick with......deb
Author tryandenjoyit Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 Phones are crap(mine is anyway) you should never and i mean never break up over the phone or especially sending texts deal with it in the old fashioned way the right way go see her talk it out if it ends it ends.....breaking up, making up or even dating should be done face to face.......and i have this belief all of these should end with a hug.Its closure good or bad....a no regrets and a true ending either way of the fight that closes a book, the make up or the continuation of a relationship.....its a belief i hold and stick with......deb thanks for your input, everything was done face to face. It was a massive face to face fight. Then out of anger, I asked her to just break up if she felt like it. She agreed. Now i don't know what to do. I know she is with her friend today and she started joking around on Facebook after I sent the message so obviously her mood improved. I feel so spineless. Wish i was more emotional hardened. On the bright side, i see this as a learning experience.
Calico Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I'll be a little blunt here, but if you break up repeatedly over the short period of only six months, the relationship is probably not going to work out and it may be better to just drop it and move on as well as you can. I would stop bothering her with messages or calls. If she wants to contact you, she will. Bothering her will definitely push her away.
not-a-drive-by Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 On the bright side, i see this as a learning experience. I hope you've learnt not to throw those words around lightly again.
todreaminblue Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 thanks for your input, everything was done face to face. It was a massive face to face fight. Then out of anger, I asked her to just break up if she felt like it. She agreed. Now i don't know what to do. I know she is with her friend today and she started joking around on Facebook after I sent the message so obviously her mood improved. I feel so spineless. Wish i was more emotional hardened. On the bright side, i see this as a learning experience. I have never had a massive fight break up, I don't believe in fighting when emotions are high I believe in talking when emotions are not too high so judgement and reasoning skills are not impaired, so you don't say things that you regret.You should not make major decisions at these times in my opinion but then again i have thrown ii t all out the window in the middle of a fight and got nuclear only when i feel threatened or protecting someone.I have fought with people after the break up and fought with people while in a relationship but hold off on making major decisions normally.....sometimes it doesn't work out that way though and for you it didnt.......and i shouldnt be thinking what works for me might work for you.......My opinion is to nevr let the sun go down on a fight.....and to fight when you are in control because sometimes a fight will escalate and no one is in control in that state you need to step back...no fighter wins out of anger bu tby strategy yes they win endurance yes they win ....anger equals instant loss.....step back.....put on the boxing gloves when both of you have calmed down or forfeit the rematch.....here's an analogy a true fighter does nor fight out of anger but for the love and respect he holds for the sport that includes love for the opponent and ultimately respect.... i am a true fighter i think everybody should be true....but then again i live in reality......smiles.....try it next time with a new love or wait its your choice to rematch or forfeit and the amount of time it takes you to decide is up to you too....its called free will........good luck .....deb
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