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I honestly dont know ... give


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Posted
Well apparently even though she cheated I could have to pay alimony and her lawyer feed possibly... That's unjust if you ask me....period....

 

If you expect this to be a just situation - think again.

 

Nothing about getting divorced is good - except the freedom at the end!

 

You want her WORKING! That way you pay her less...and she should be working!

 

And don't give her money - when she gets desperate for money she'll go to work and earn money.

Posted
If you expect this to be a just situation - think again.

 

Nothing about getting divorced is good - except the freedom at the end!

 

You want her WORKING! That way you pay her less...and she should be working!

 

And don't give her money - when she gets desperate for money she'll go to work and earn money.

 

 

Sunny is totally right. But try to get her to sign off on a reasonable settlement your attorney poses first, and just eat it a couple years (that is, some alimony - if that is what he thinks she will likely get in court). As, she is gonna get ticked about working. You don't need that either - so mediate first. Do whatever ya gotts do to just get it over with and be free. For back-up purposes, I also recommend you collect hard proof on the adultry. Tape recordings, whatever you can get. And never tell her you have it.

  • Author
Posted

I SWEAR..... The drama never ends...

Get this.

1 and 1/2 hours sleep today...heading to work for another 10 hrs now.

My wife pitched a holy hell fit this morning cause I didn't want to get up and go have lunch with her and go grocery shopping... Can ya blame me? Then she gets even more mad cause the baby is awake and I ask her to take the baby with her....so I could get a couple hours sleep. So she and her mom take the baby and go get lunch and go to the grocery store get to the line to pay and my debit card won't work.... $2.00 in the bank...don't get paid again till Thursday....then my wife comes home...we get in yet another argument about her mom cause here it is Friday and no applications put in... I'm not dealing with this crap. My wife says why does she half to work at your job? Why can't she work at target or something? I said I could give a F@*K less where she works but I know that my job would have her started in less than a week and would be a definite at least 40hrs a week. She says that her moms boyfriend is gonna send some money that we can put in an account and use each month to pay the payment till she gets a job. I said you don't get it I want her to take responsibility for her life and my nephews. It's not her boyfriend from Canadas job either. She said I needed to stop treating her mom like a child and that it was none of my business. I said as long as she is living in my house and not making progress towards being on her own that I had to make it my business. Just kept saying stop trying to control her.....after awhile she calmed down and we tried to lay down for awhile...both of us were in the bed with the baby between us and I was feeding the baby. My wife grabbed my hand and I thought she was gonna hold the bottle so I could get a bit of sleep but NO...she pulled my wedding ring off and wouldn't give it back and said that I needed to think about our marriage. In my head I was thinking gee ya think??? Anyway I got up and got read for work. The following post will be the texts she sent me while I was on my way to work....

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Posted

Sorry. I need you to think if this is what you honestly want anymore. : I'm a worthless, dead weight, money pit, loser wife who is no good for you. Never was My family has brought you nothing but drama, and I've split you from yours. This ring symbolises love, happiness, friendship, unity, family....we have none of those. We fight, we disagree... Just think about it. Maybe you'd be like Stacey, maybe you'd feel better off without me .....No comment? Fine.

  • Author
Posted

Now......for the next batch of drama from today....yes there is more

 

Well my nephews mom said that she was coming to get my nephew Friday thin my wife talked her into waiting till sunday so I could be there. Well guess what she showed up shortly after I left for work and brought 5 police cars, 2 car loads of people, and DHS workers to try to take my nephew.... Well little did she know that we got the papers signed by the judge this morning.... She lied to the police and said that she dropped him off a few days ago and we refused to give him back....he has lived with us for almost 9 months now and she knew where he was the whole time and made no effort to see him...well all we had to do is give the police the letter from our lawyer saying we have custody and they made her leave :-) atleast that was a victory

Posted

Sounds a reality TV show...Sorry you are a main character. :(:(

Posted

Leave her with ONLY the debit card tied to the acct with no money in it.

 

Put your check in a new acct in your name only - choose a new pin code.

 

If he wants money - tell her to EARN it! That goes for her mom too!

 

Bringing her mom into your workplace will be a nightmare. Especially when you two divorce.

 

Have her get that job sap at target - have your wife work there too!

 

Don't give hem a dime!

 

Why haven't you had hem move out yet? They re obviously capable of calling up men with drama and receiving money! That makes me sickened!

 

She's resourceful - time for HER to figure out how to solve her problems.

 

Stop doing anything for her = she's a mooch.

Posted

Sheez, why are you participating in such drama?

 

Throw them out - or maybe you should leave and have them figure out how to make ends meet.

 

Stop fixing things for them.

 

You need counseling to see why YOU feel his need to rescue everyone at the cost of your own happiness.

  • Author
Posted

Well this crazy nephew drama just started this week wich has tremendously put a damper on my plans cause now I need the lawyer loan paid off so I can hire my lawyer... So I'm gonna fight to make her mom work and get this crap paid back so I can do what I need to.

 

How can I throw either of them out with literally no where to go even temporary. Especially my wife cause until the court says otherwise if my wife goes so does my little girl.... And I can't leave cause I have no where to go and no money to find a place.

 

As for the debit card I have the only one for our only account... My wife isn't even on it cause she never went to get her license...(another long story) .

 

Everything is solely in my name. All 4 of my cars the house. The utilities, cable internet you name it its all in my name... I could care less about the house really but she better not try to take my cars... Accept the Mazda 6 but if she wants it ill sign over payments to her. All my other cars I had well before we met... Idk how well that holds up in court but my first car was a 1970 nova with 78k original miles and I still have it and don't wanna lose it or my Porsche 944 or my MINI. All these cars I worked hard to get them young and they are all I really fear losing as far as stuff goes... But then again I don't wanna be homeless either. I also baught the house pre-marriage.

Brings me to my next question.

As far as life-style alimony goes can she count time before marriage? We have been together 5 years but married only 1.

 

Oh and tomorrow I will be on here ALOT cause I'm working but it will be very slow...

And thanks again for your inputs and reading

Posted

You are crazy to leave things as they are.

 

Sell he cars! Keep the house. Gt custody of your daughter. You need an attorney. Sell those cars.

Posted

Be careful on the how you treat her. If you throw her out that could go bad in court. If you abandon her that could go wrong too.

Posted

You need a healthy boundary.

 

Figure out what that looks like.

 

Allowing lots of people to walk all over you isn't a healthy boundary.

  • Author
Posted

I really don't let people walk all over me in general its just these two always need something and I'm not blind to it at all I just don't know how to get myself out of it.... Does that make sense at all? ??

If I would have left a year ago when it happened then I'd have no rights to my daughter now BUT if I had left her then it would have been easy because back then her mom had her own place and she had somewhere to go but now I can't just go drop her off and say its over... What now?

Oh and by the way I am working on getting in to see a psychiatrist to help me in general through all this cause I feel overwhelmed and pretty down about potentially losing my daughter... My work offers 5 free sessions so that's pretty good.

Posted

Start going with any change instead of thinking of roadblocks.

 

They need to start working. This will help you. Ask the court for custody of your daughter.

 

And stop giving them anything.

 

If thy want to go out to lunch - they can work - earn mony - then pay themselves.

 

They've taken advantage of you because you've allowed it = stop allowing it!

 

When they get hungry and need food - they will get a job.

 

Give them nothing.

 

Tell them to find a place to move ASAP.

  • Author
Posted

Your up late sunny.

It's not as easy as all that I atleast have to wait till this nephew business is all done...for his sake not theirs and so I can make her pay me back so I can afford a lawyer for my case. And I gotta be careful cause I want the court to look its best on me so I have the best chancees. Also part of going to therapy.

  • Author
Posted

Well I thought it might happen last night...we were arguing through text and I asked her if she thought it was ok to talk to me like she did yesterday morning and if she wanted our daughter to think that is would be ok to talk to her man like that later in life and she took.that as me saying she is a bad mom and she started to try and leave and after her mom went and picked her up from the road and brought her back we calmed down and so I wake up this morning and she is fine with me but she has deleted my ENTIRE text log from her.....(months long) ......is she getting the hint and deleted it to cover her ass in court from verbal abuse I had on it?......hmm???

Posted

I guess I'd argue with her everyday/all day IF it meant she would leave...just saying!

 

Don't be nice to someone who treats you poorly.

 

Even if Mom never pays back the money - its worth the payoff to get them out for good!

  • Author
Posted

Well I talked to one of my best friends today about all this.(he's the only person that knows about her infidelity last year) and I think talking about it with him helped me and I know for sure I want the divorce I just don't know how or when. I want my nephew in law's case done first and we have a court date on Oct 15 so I guess we will see then

Posted
Well I thought it might happen last night...we were arguing through text and I asked her if she thought it was ok to talk to me like she did yesterday morning and if she wanted our daughter to think that is would be ok to talk to her man like that later in life and she took.that as me saying she is a bad mom and she started to try and leave and after her mom went and picked her up from the road and brought her back we calmed down and so I wake up this morning and she is fine with me but she has deleted my ENTIRE text log from her.....(months long) ......is she getting the hint and deleted it to cover her ass in court from verbal abuse I had on it?......hmm???

 

Hi collector -- I haven't commented on you post before but I do know you should be able to get that text trail back again. You could maybe look online or contact you phone company to see how to retrieve it.

Posted
Well I talked to one of my best friends today about all this.(he's the only person that knows about her infidelity last year) and I think talking about it with him helped me and I know for sure I want the divorce I just don't know how or when. I want my nephew in law's case done first and we have a court date on Oct 15 so I guess we will see then

 

You're not taking care of you... Stop taking care of everyone else first and yourself last.

 

You can't get custody of the boy - he's been sent to stay with family. The judge should know you don't intend to stay married now.

 

Let the women figure out their set of problems that they created.

 

 

You can visit with the boy as he grows up... Stay in touch with him as time goes along.

 

Take care of you!

  • Author
Posted

Thanks difficult! I will try to talk to at&t.

So your saying I need to tell the judge? Even if it means the boy goes to his mother who is terrible for him? I thought I'd just wait till we were awarded custody then transfer custody to W or MIL when I file. That's kinda what the lawyers assistant was thinking I should do when I talked to her. She also thought I shouldnt have to worry about child support for him. I don't know what to do....

Posted

Tell the truth. Since you don't intend to stay married - the judge should fully understand you won't be married and supporting the boy.

 

No, you shouldn't have to pay support money - unless you are his father...

 

You seem to look for more things to add to the issues you already have.

 

Try an al anon meeting. You can't fix everyone - only work one yourself.

 

The issues they've created are for THEM to change - you seem to have that mixed up.

  • Author
Posted

UPDATE

Wife and I fought again this morning... She mentioned divorce again. I said nothing back to it. But every time we fight afterwards she is really nice like nothing happened.

Anyway I got the therapy cleared through work and just gotta set up when and that's a real problem since my work just cut overtime... When am I supposed to sneak away to go?

Posted
UPDATE

Wife and I fought again this morning... She mentioned divorce again. I said nothing back to it. But every time we fight afterwards she is really nice like nothing happened.

Anyway I got the therapy cleared through work and just gotta set up when and that's a real problem since my work just cut overtime... When am I supposed to sneak away to go?

 

Sneak?

 

Why would you need to sneak when you're trying to get help?

 

Be up front - take the FIRST available appointment. Leave work for an hour or two just like everyone does when they have to see a doctor or any appointment.

 

This should be a top priority!

 

You seem to create roadblocks for every solution...it shows as your pattern.

 

Start making solutions happen instead of looking for things that won't work.

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