sooniechan Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I didn't know where to post this so I figured in general would be good. I had been wondering if you are trying to give advice to someone or explain something to them, is how you present it important? I think so but, my partner really thinks its just the actual words that matter. I try to explain that saying "This is so easy! How do you not get it?" is not the same as "hey, why don't you try and look at it this way." he says it's more or less the same thing. Any thoughts?
todreaminblue Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I didn't know where to post this so I figured in general would be good. I had been wondering if you are trying to give advice to someone or explain something to them, is how you present it important? I think so but, my partner really thinks its just the actual words that matter. I try to explain that saying "This is so easy! How do you not get it?" is not the same as "hey, why don't you try and look at it this way." he says it's more or less the same thing. Any thoughts? The first statement is argumentative the second statement is put into a way you can have a discussion not an argument
D-Lish Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I didn't know where to post this so I figured in general would be good. I had been wondering if you are trying to give advice to someone or explain something to them, is how you present it important? I think so but, my partner really thinks its just the actual words that matter. I try to explain that saying "This is so easy! How do you not get it?" is not the same as "hey, why don't you try and look at it this way." he says it's more or less the same thing. Any thoughts? It's not always what you ask, as much as HOW you say it. I've always stood behind the belief that asking questions is important. Sometimes how you ask questions can take a turn for the worst if your deliverance of any judgement in your questioning affects people. Some people always have to be right- no matter what. If you know that a) they are WRONG- decide to fight your battle -based on whether the person is sane enough to continue a relationship with you that you trust will always benefit you.
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