Does flirting mean anything to a man?

September 22, 2012

I read this in an article entitled "15 little known facts about the male species" and wondered about it:

"A man can flirt with you and forget you:

The endless questions of why he didn’t call, text back, or show up like he said he would can end: men have short term memory when it comes to girls. A guy can thoroughly enjoy a flirtatious interaction with you, and then forget you the moment you are out of his site. This could be because they are so visibly stimulated, and the next pretty thing to come their way takes up their attention."

Men, does this apply to you? Can you see a woman, smile at her, wink or whatever, and she smiles at you and there is this spark, and then when she is out of sight, you forget her? What if you see her more than once? Like if you work somewhere and see her around sometimes, and you have this interaction with her sometimes, do you still forget her when the next pretty girl comes along?

I ask this because there is a guy who works at a store who I am interested in; he smiles at and keeps this smile and stare when I look back at him, it's happened more than once. I am trying to assess whether or not this man just thinks of me when he sees me and then forgets me, or if there is really something here.

So men, what do you think of the article? Share your stories please!

September 22, 2012

I read this in an article entitled "15 little known facts about the male species" and wondered about it:

"A man can flirt with you and forget you:

The endless questions of why he didn’t call, text back, or show up like he said he would can end: men have short term memory when it comes to girls. A guy can thoroughly enjoy a flirtatious interaction with you, and then forget you the moment you are out of his site. This could be because they are so visibly stimulated, and the next pretty thing to come their way takes up their attention."

Men, does this apply to you? Can you see a woman, smile at her, wink or whatever, and she smiles at you and there is this spark, and then when she is out of sight, you forget her? What if you see her more than once? Like if you work somewhere and see her around sometimes, and you have this interaction with her sometimes, do you still forget her when the next pretty girl comes along?

I ask this because there is a guy who works at a store who I am interested in; he smiles at and keeps this smile and stare when I look back at him, it's happened more than once. I am trying to assess whether or not this man just thinks of me when he sees me and then forgets me, or if there is really something here.

So men, what do you think of the article? Share your stories please!

Sorry, It's hard to say on your specific situation. He could like you but be hesitant to approach you. He might be a player and have a bunch of girls he's seeing, so he just does not care enough to come over to you. He could just like the attention. It's hard to say.

For me, I know that sometimes I will just flirt cause it's fun. If I am truly interested in someone though, I will approach her.

September 22, 2012

I am female. I will flirt and forget it. It is completely meaningless. The coffeeshop guy flirts with me every time I go in. I flirt back. I have zero interest in him. It is a fun way to pass the time while I am waiting for my latte. If I saw him out of context (read not at the coffeeshop) I might not even know who it is.

Go and talk to him. Ask him about the store products, and then move the conversation into something personal. You'll have a much better sense if there is interest after a getting to know you conversation.

September 22, 2012

Well, this is discouraging.

September 22, 2012

To me, flirting is like a foreign language I neither understand nor care to learn.

People accuse flirt-illiterates like me of being autistic, having Asperger's, etc etc... but the bottom line is, flirting is something that has to be taught and learned, like playing poker or chess. Nobody is born knowing how to flirt.

And then there's the cultural factor... what's perfectly innocent in one culture can be very insulting in another.

September 22, 2012

I am female. I will flirt and forget it. It is completely meaningless. The coffeeshop guy flirts with me every time I go in. I flirt back. I have zero interest in him. It is a fun way to pass the time while I am waiting for my latte.

And this is, personally, why I put no stock into flirting. Women with this mentality.

September 22, 2012

And this is, personally, why I put no stock into flirting. Women with this mentality.

Flirting to me = harmless conversation. If it is time for the next step, like more than flirting. Then you have to up the signals for sure (i.e. body language and dropping hints about stuff you can do together.)

Harmless back and forth conversation barely rates above small talk. Especially when dealing with a flirty guy.

I am like you, I don't put stock into the flirting until someone takes action. Like asking me for my number or finding out if I am available. If I believed every man that talked to me was interested, I'd be sadly mistaken.

September 22, 2012

Flirting to me = harmless conversation. If it is time for the next step, like more than flirting. Then you have to up the signals for sure (i.e. body language and dropping hints about stuff you can do together.)

Harmless back and forth conversation barely rates above small talk. Especially when dealing with a flirty guy.

I am like you, I don't put stock into the flirting until someone takes action. Like asking me for my number or finding out if I am available. If I believed every man that talked to me was interested, I'd be sadly mistaken.

Depends on what you consider flirting. Flirting to me isn't making small talk with a stranger; it's slightly sexually charged conversations with sexual tension or sexual innuendos thrown in. I don't think every girl that says "hi how is your day?" wants to sleep with me, but I used to assume that girls who verbally teased the idea of us getting physical as flirting, but it turns out, not so much. When it comes time to actually meet up, they flake. And that's why I take flirting (my idea of flirting) with a grain of salt.

September 22, 2012

If I speak to her and we "flirt," I will probably remember the face. Maybe not the name or the conversation, but the face would be in my mind.

But if it is just a smile/wink/etc. as we are walking past each other, the face/person escapes my mind within seconds.

For example, yesterday, during the late afternoon, I was walking to meet a friend a few blocks from where I parked my car in Manhattan. During that walk, I had 2 girls smile at me and 1 girl wink/smile at me, all three separate occasions. If you put down 5 girls in front of me, and the 3 of them were in that group, I probably wouldn't be able to tell you which ones they were.

Maybe I point out the wink girl, because that doesn't happen very often, but the smiles, definitely not.

I think the same thing is with women though. How many people do you smile at, at any given day? Honestly. Probably many. But is it even flirtatious? Many women will talk to you and then forget you within minutes. I don't think it is just men that have "short term memory loss."

September 22, 2012

I read this in an article entitled "15 little known facts about the male species" and wondered about it:

"A man can flirt with you and forget you:

The endless questions of why he didn’t call, text back, or show up like he said he would can end: men have short term memory when it comes to girls. A guy can thoroughly enjoy a flirtatious interaction with you, and then forget you the moment you are out of his site. This could be because they are so visibly stimulated, and the next pretty thing to come their way takes up their attention."

Men, does this apply to you? Can you see a woman, smile at her, wink or whatever, and she smiles at you and there is this spark, and then when she is out of sight, you forget her? What if you see her more than once? Like if you work somewhere and see her around sometimes, and you have this interaction with her sometimes, do you still forget her when the next pretty girl comes along?

I ask this because there is a guy who works at a store who I am interested in; he smiles at and keeps this smile and stare when I look back at him, it's happened more than once. I am trying to assess whether or not this man just thinks of me when he sees me and then forgets me, or if there is really something here.

So men, what do you think of the article? Share your stories please!

I don't think this is one sided. I've had a ton of women flirt with me while out having fun and forgot about me the minute their friends got bored and pulled her away. I've read countless posts from both men and women alike, who were confused about how another feels about them. In fact, this happens every time I start seeing some one new. I'm going to approach her - will she talk to me? Will she go out on a date? After the first date - will she go out on a second date? Why does she seem distant? Is she just being cautious? Is she unsure? Is she playing hard to get? Is she seeing other people? If yes, am I on her list of important people? Why are her texts getting shorter? Why did she wait 5 hours to text me back? Is that a bad sign? Has she already lost interest?

It is what it is and this scenario plays out with every woman I show interest in. The only thing that has really changed is me. It really doesn't matter anymore. Either way, you can't control it. All you can ever do is be confident with yourself. The best way to create attraction in anyone, male or female, is to be confident, not show neediness and be someone that they want to be with. That's really the only control that you have.

September 22, 2012

If I speak to her and we "flirt," I will probably remember the face. Maybe not the name or the conversation, but the face would be in my mind.

But if it is just a smile/wink/etc. as we are walking past each other, the face/person escapes my mind within seconds.

For example, yesterday, during the late afternoon, I was walking to meet a friend a few blocks from where I parked my car in Manhattan. During that walk, I had 2 girls smile at me and 1 girl wink/smile at me, all three separate occasions. If you put down 5 girls in front of me, and the 3 of them were in that group, I probably wouldn't be able to tell you which ones they were.

Maybe I point out the wink girl, because that doesn't happen very often, but the smiles, definitely not.

I think the same thing is with women though. How many people do you smile at, at any given day? Honestly. Probably many. But is it even flirtatious? Many women will talk to you and then forget you within minutes. I don't think it is just men that have "short term memory loss."

Thanks for your honesty!

I wanted your opinion on this:

You work at a grocery store. You see this one particular girl often in the store, she doesn't notice you until recently. You smile at her, she smiles back. You smile and stare at her as she leaves.

After, on another day, you see her again. You smile, and wink at her. She smiles back and you two stare at each other (smiles) as she leaves.

Would you say that this is just a casual thing like how you describe or would you say this is a girl you have been accustomed to seeing around and actually like her and that is what you're doing when smiling/staring/winking?

I'd appreciate your opinion!

September 22, 2012

I don't think this is one sided. I've had a ton of women flirt with me while out having fun and forgot about me the minute their friends got bored and pulled her away. I've read countless posts from both men and women alike, who were confused about how another feels about them. In fact, this happens every time I start seeing some one new. I'm going to approach her - will she talk to me? Will she go out on a date? After the first date - will she go out on a second date? Why does she seem distant? Is she just being cautious? Is she unsure? Is she playing hard to get? Is she seeing other people? If yes, am I on her list of important people? Why are her texts getting shorter? Why did she wait 5 hours to text me back? Is that a bad sign? Has she already lost interest?

It is what it is and this scenario plays out with every woman I show interest in. The only thing that has really changed is me. It really doesn't matter anymore. Either way, you can't control it. All you can ever do is be confident with yourself. The best way to create attraction in anyone, male or female, is to be confident, not show neediness and be someone that they want to be with. That's really the only control that you have.

Hmm, thanks for your perspective. So when you say to be yourself and not show neediness, as a woman (me), I genuinely want to give this guy my number so we can go on a date SO I can get to know him. I genuinely want this. I would like to go after what I want. Would you say, in your honest opinion, that this is me being myself and that I should do this? Or as a woman, is this considered needy and not a good look? Thanks!

September 22, 2012

it could be completely meaningless or he could be madly infatuated with you. utterly impossible to know without more happening, I'm afraid.

sounds like you are pretty interested in him though, and there's a fair chance -- chance -- that he feels the same way.

Is he shy? Then try to figure out how to let him know that he can approach you without being rejected. Believe me, some guys are terrified to ask for a date because of this. And no, they're not necessarily losers. I used to know a guy who some women thought was "far better looking than Robert Redford" (back when RR was about the best-looking guy in movies) who was petrified about asking for a date.

September 22, 2012

it could be completely meaningless or he could be madly infatuated with you. utterly impossible to know without more happening, I'm afraid.

sounds like you are pretty interested in him though, and there's a fair chance -- chance -- that he feels the same way.

Is he shy? Then try to figure out how to let him know that he can approach you without being rejected. Believe me, some guys are terrified to ask for a date because of this. And no, they're not necessarily losers. I used to know a guy who some women thought was "far better looking than Robert Redford" (back when RR was about the best-looking guy in movies) who was petrified about asking for a date.

What if he is at work in a busy department and he cannot step out, and the only way we would be able to approach each other is if I approach his desk? (he works at a bank)

September 22, 2012

I read this in an article entitled "15 little known facts about the male species" and wondered about it:

"A man can flirt with you and forget you:

The endless questions of why he didn’t call, text back, or show up like he said he would can end: men have short term memory when it comes to girls. A guy can thoroughly enjoy a flirtatious interaction with you, and then forget you the moment you are out of his site. This could be because they are so visibly stimulated, and the next pretty thing to come their way takes up their attention."

Men, does this apply to you? Can you see a woman, smile at her, wink or whatever, and she smiles at you and there is this spark, and then when she is out of sight, you forget her? What if you see her more than once? Like if you work somewhere and see her around sometimes, and you have this interaction with her sometimes, do you still forget her when the next pretty girl comes along?

I ask this because there is a guy who works at a store who I am interested in; he smiles at and keeps this smile and stare when I look back at him, it's happened more than once. I am trying to assess whether or not this man just thinks of me when he sees me and then forgets me, or if there is really something here.

So men, what do you think of the article? Share your stories please!

Yea, this happens often because most women just aren't interesting as a person to begin with, so I tend to forget one and check out the next.

September 22, 2012

Yea, this happens often because most women just aren't interesting as a person to begin with, so I tend to forget one and check out the next.

Well, I've seen your posts and you're pretty much a jerk lol. so I'd like to get the stats of the typical, decent man.

September 22, 2012

handwritten, in a nice little envelope. tell him you might like to get to know him better, if he feels the same way, give you a call (or email or txt or whtvr you do these days LOL).

then, figure out how to distract yourself for a few days so you don't go crazy!

September 22, 2012

Thanks for your honesty!

I wanted your opinion on this:

You work at a grocery store. You see this one particular girl often in the store, she doesn't notice you until recently. You smile at her, she smiles back. You smile and stare at her as she leaves.

After, on another day, you see her again. You smile, and wink at her. She smiles back and you two stare at each other (smiles) as she leaves.

Would you say that this is just a casual thing like how you describe or would you say this is a girl you have been accustomed to seeing around and actually like her and that is what you're doing when smiling/staring/winking?

I'd appreciate your opinion!

If this goes on repeatedly, I would imagine this is just a sign of friendliness. A female that is interested and does these things will either make it more obvious she is into you, or cut that **** off if you don't "jump" on the opportunity.

What I've noticed is this: if a woman gives you signals and you don't react, instead of just being content with that, she will often act like she's pissed at you or go out of her way to show her annoyance with you. Even if you never talked to each other, but there were some smiles and stuff, if you don't act on it, next time your eyes catch each other, she will look pissed.

Kind of weird, really.

September 22, 2012

If this goes on repeatedly, I would imagine this is just a sign of friendliness. A female that is interested and does these things will either make it more obvious she is into you, or cut that **** off if you don't "jump" on the opportunity.

What I've noticed is this: if a woman gives you signals and you don't react, instead of just being content with that, she will often act like she's pissed at you or go out of her way to show her annoyance with you. Even if you never talked to each other, but there were some smiles and stuff, if you don't act on it, next time your eyes catch each other, she will look pissed.

Kind of weird, really.

Lol this is gonna sound even weirder but...

Should I act pissed then?? I really want to get to know this man and not do this smile and stare thing forever, and I don't wanna be the one to have to approach him at work. You think that'll work? What are some ways I can visually show, "C'mon, man, I'm into you. Approach me already!"?

September 22, 2012

Hmm, thanks for your perspective. So when you say to be yourself and not show neediness, as a woman (me), I genuinely want to give this guy my number so we can go on a date SO I can get to know him. I genuinely want this. I would like to go after what I want. Would you say, in your honest opinion, that this is me being myself and that I should do this? Or as a woman, is this considered needy and not a good look? Thanks!

I don't see anything wrong with being subtle and asking him if he wants to hang out sometime. It would only be a bad look if you gave it all up too soon. He has to take charge and make his own moves to show interest once you made the initial play. Get the ball rolling and see if he takes control.

Needy in my opinion, is someone who cant control themselves. Someone who texts you 5 times before you had a chance to answer the first one. Someone who wants a relationship, or attention so bad, that they will allow the other person to disrespect them, or someone who is afraid to have an opinion that may conflict with that of the other person.

September 22, 2012

I don't see anything wrong with being subtle and asking him if he wants to hang out sometime. It would only be a bad look if you gave it all up too soon. He has to take charge and make his own moves to show interest once you made the initial play. Get the ball rolling and see if he takes control.

Needy in my opinion, is someone who cant control themselves. Someone who texts you 5 times before you had a chance to answer the first one. Someone who wants a relationship, or attention so bad, that they will allow the other person to disrespect them, or someone who is afraid to have an opinion that may conflict with that of the other person.

Great! So say I approach him at his work desk, what should I say exactly (never spoke to him, but smile/flirt with him) that is subtle, not weird and that will allow him to take charge?

September 22, 2012

Great! So say I approach him at his work desk, what should I say exactly (never spoke to him, but smile/flirt with him) that is subtle, not weird and that will allow him to take charge?

I would set up a happy hour thing after work with a few people and invite him to go. That way if he turns you down, you can play it off because you got a place to be and people to hang with regardless of what he does. That's that perception of confidence I talk about. In this scenario, you have something to do whether he goes or not...you're just inviting him to go. That does not leave you hanging in the wind if he says no.

I would want to plant a seed, just in case he really is busy the day you set it up. You could say - That's too bad. It sounds like it will be fun! Maybe you could come with us when we go again? This is a loaded question. He could say oh yea, Id love to and not mean it at all. He could say sure and actually go just to be friendly. Obviously, you can never know what he is thinking, but I think this is a good way to try and get him out of work, without having to walk away embarrassed. It gives you a place to be around him, where people are open to conversation and possibly open to flirting.

I really don't know anything about your situation, but IMO, asking him to go out sometime at work and having to see him after is tricky. This suggestion seems like a safe way to poke him and see how he responds.

Edited September 22, 2012 by surlyboy

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Does flirting mean anything to a man?

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