Sameold Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 My break up was awful and my ex really screwed me over, however aside from that we had a good, long relationship and I got on with her parents and family really well. Her mum even took the time to wish me well by e-mail after it all happened. Well, anyways...today I am walking up to my car in the super market and about 15 metres away I see the ex's mum driving off. I could see she was kind of turning as if to check it was me a few times and she kind of raised her hand. It quite shocked me to see her but I was far enough away from her and my car in the rain so I kind of just carried on as if I didn't see it. She could reasonably assume I didn't see her. The ex never discussed the break-up with her parents and part of me feels they should have pushed her more to really open up...she is like a bottle of coke and she keeps everything in and one day explodes which is why the break-up was such a shock. I don't think she really thought about it all as much as the r/s deserved. Anyway, so what do I do if I see her mum or dad in the shop? Do I say hello and have a big chat or just walk by? If she asks how I am do I just give generic answers...I obviously dont want to be seen to be asking about the ex. I doubt her parents would tell the ex they saw me but I'm really not sure how to generally handle them. I used her sister as a sounding cushion during bu but I have recently told her I wont be in contact much now as future gfs would not understand...did I even do right by saying that because I do actually value her as a friend?
LostOne1 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Well if it was me, I would wait to see if the family member says Hi. If they do, there is nothing wrong with being nice back. But I'd keep it short and simple and then go on. Family can play a good or bad role and it depends. In my case I never went to my ex's bro or sis for help. I'm guessing my ex has told them crap about me to get them to dislike me. In fact my ex's sister took me off facebook a few hours ago. Not sure what it means yet, but I would not get too involved with the girls family. In the end they will support her no matter what, and they "may" pass on info maybe.... But it's good they still like and respect you. So keep that imagine, because it does matter to show who and how you are.
Svet74 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I would just smile and say hi from afar when you see them. Now if they approach you and talk to you be nice back. Of course never bring up the ex or say anything about the ex at all. That way they have some respect for you. If they bring your ex up and what happened. Just say you would rather not talk about it. My exes parents still talk to me and approach me at church, I talk back and so do his siblings. I never bring the ex up and nor do they. I know he talked badly of me to them but it seems like they dont believe him because they are very warm with me. I still keep my distance so they dont know everything about my life. The only other person that i actually opened up to on how i feel about my ex is my exes cousin. Only because she is going through drama with her ex and tells me about it. But now i realize that it doesnt make me feel any better talking about him at all with her because of the fact that they are connected. And what if we are not friends anymore in the future? then she will go behind my back and maybe tell him everything i said. But now its just getting even more out of control cuz he just started dating someone else. So im done completely talking about him to her. I trust her but at the same time i dont. RIght now him and her dont get along because he owes her money. But as soon as he pays her back and as soon as he starts to wonder what im up to or starts to miss me she will be the first person he will go to for info. ANd he is very persuasive so he will get it out of her if he has to
Author Sameold Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 Thank guys, I think I will just be nice. I guess my concern was saying I was doing well as if that then goes back to the ex that may relieve her of her guilt if she thinks I am Ok. She deserves to be stuck with the guilt for her actions.
Calico Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 She deserves to be stuck with the guilt for her actions. You need to stop caring about how she feels, what she thinks, or what she "deserves". Start worrying about how you feel, regardless of anything concerning her.
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