dawntaylor Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I'm in a very frustrating situation. VERY frustrating. I broke up with my boyfriend of 19 months about five weeks ago and ever since then, my male friend and I have been openly attracted to each other. He had also broken up with his girlfriend around the same time I did. One night he took me home with him and we fooled around all night and had an extremely emotionally intimate night together. It was great. After that, we kind of pretended it didn't happen and didn't really know what to do... Except for when we're drunk. Whenever we're drunk together, things are always said and suggested. Nothing serious though. So two weeks after the night he took me home with him, he did the same. We were lying on his bed and I was trying to seduce him and it was then that he told me that it couldn't happen and that he was dating his ex again... I felt really embarrassed and I was so worried that I'd ****ed up our friendship but we spoke about it and agreed that it was just a matter of miscommunication and that we're still really great friends. I was so confused and a little hurt that he was trying with his ex again (who he never loved) because I felt like he and I had something. Then two nights ago, things started to happen. We went out clubbing and our dancing got a little sexual and we held hands for some of the night. It was nice. When we got home he was cuddling me and had me tucked into his chest and being really affectionate. He also leaned down and kissed me at one point. Later on we were lying in bed together cuddling and holding each other so closely and he was touching my body. He was telling me that I'm such a beautiful woman, that he's so sorry things can't happen now between us and we admitted to each other that there is something there and that if things were different (his ex wasn't around), we could have something. He kept on apologising but he was holding me so closely and had a huge hard on and made me feel it. He said "this is proof that things would be different between us" and put my hand down there so I could feel how hard he was. It was really intimate. He told me that maybe in the future things could happen but now it is the 'wrong time'. It was so good, we were so into each other and it was so passionate. We have a lot of passion. And now he's ignoring me. I don't know what to do. I really like him and he's told me that he feels the same way but I don't know where we stand now. Am I supposed to wait until he and his ex break up (which is bound to happen) and then pursue something or do I just leave the whole situation together and move on? I really don't understand his behaviour, we are mutually really connected and attracted yet he seems to be avoiding me. I don't understand how someone can go from holding someone in bed and telling them they're beautiful to just flat out ignoring them? I'm hurt and I don't know what to do. HELP!!!
veryhappy Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Don't get into unclear situations. Don't pretend something didn't happen. Don't avoid asking questions for fear of not liking what you'll hear. If you were older, after his discourse of "we can't be together" while cuddling (never mind there would have been no cuddling), you would have pressed his penish when he put your hand on it to the point of tears. Then followed up with a discourse that summarized is "are you f kidding me?" He's messing with you, and he might even not be fully aware of the reasons. Slam the door next time he wants to be with you. You deserve better than to be a backup plan. Question the friendship too. 2
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Okay, you have a guy who is playing you on some level (selfishly, not malciously) and he's kind of back with his ex yet you keep on allowing it to happen. Don't be his fall back gal anymore. He's told you what his intentions are, but he's OK with fooling around - No strings attached. As long as you allow this to happen you'll continue to feel hurt and confused by him. STOP having sex with him, especially when you've been drinking. This guy is not worth it and it's not good that you're letting him use you like this. He may care about you, but he doesn't care to have a relationship with you. Either settle and be his fall back girl, let him do whatever he pleases, or find your self respect and end it. He obviously still loves his ex (even if you think he doesn't) enough to try to get back with her. What are you getting out of this other than good sex? He can tell you how hot you are, beautiful, sexy and say if the timing was better he'd be ALL yours, but that isn't the case. Don't let your feelings and emotions blind you to what really is going on. A guy who will continue to have side flings with you for as long as you let him. You tell him goodbye and when the timing is better and he is SINGLE, then to call you and take you out on a proper date.
Author dawntaylor Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 It's just so hard because we have this connection but it just feels so wrong. I want it to be right, I just don't understand why he's trying with his ex again. They had a ****ty relationship and he was always saying that he can't fall in love with her. Why is it that he is ignoring me now? Whenever we have an intimate encounter (in any way), he will avoid me afterwards. Why is this? I don't understand his behaviour.
BetrayedH Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 He enjoys being able to seduce you, to feel like a man that can have you if he wants you. Once he done that, he's done. He wants the validation that he can get you more than he actually wants you. It's probably even more of a thrill to then ignore you and still be able to do it again. He's having fun teasing you - the thrill of the chase and at the end of the night he can still tell himself (and his girlfriend) that he didn't cheat. He's just having fun entertaining himself at your expense. Probably loves telling these stories to the boys as well. "And then I just left her there in her bra and panties after I had already put her hand on my c*ck. She must've been pissed! Lol! I'm going to ignore her calls for two weeks and watch, I'll get her again." 3
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 It's just so hard because we have this connection but it just feels so wrong. I want it to be right, I just don't understand why he's trying with his ex again. They had a ****ty relationship and he was always saying that he can't fall in love with her. Why is it that he is ignoring me now? Whenever we have an intimate encounter (in any way), he will avoid me afterwards. Why is this? I don't understand his behaviour. He lied to you. why would he tell you he's still loving his ex when he can manipulate and whisper sweet nothings in your ear to get sex? And then walk away..Then want you again and you'll come running. Men can easily separate love and sex. He is ignoring you because he isn't attached to you. He is ignoring you because you're putting up with it. STOP HAVING SEX with him! Please, can't you see this is degrading you as a woman? YOu have feelings for him and he doesn't feel the same way..So every time you have sex with him, you feel more and he detachs. His words do not meet the actions he's shown you. NO respect. Doesn't that piss you off? It does me! I'm angry for you! GET mad and tell him to leave you alone, that you deserve better and his days of treating you poorly are over. 2
Quiet Storm Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 He is obviously making his GF his priority, and you his booty call. You are worth more than that. You deserve a man that cares about you. This guy just wants you to touch his hard on. Feeling his hard on is not really that intimate. It's sexual. Intimacy is love, caring, sharing, respecting, nurturing, protecting, exploring...BOTH partners being vulnerable. In this situation, only YOU are vulnerable. He will not protect your feelings. He will protect his GF's feelings. You deserve better. 3
alexandria35 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Later on we were lying in bed together cuddling and holding each other so closely and he was touching my body. He was telling me that I'm such a beautiful woman, that he's so sorry things can't happen now between us and we admitted to each other that there is something there and that if things were different (his ex wasn't around), we could have something. He kept on apologising but he was holding me so closely and had a huge hard on and made me feel it. He said "this is proof that things would be different between us" and put my hand down there so I could feel how hard he was. It was really intimate. He told me that maybe in the future things could happen but now it is the 'wrong time'. It was so good, we were so into each other and it was so passionate. We have a lot of passion LOL...Sorry but I think you're reading an awful lot of meaning into this guys erection. Are there any ladies here who have been lying in bed with a man and letting him feel you up and the guy didn't have a big hard on? LOL. OP don't most guys get hard when you let them maul your body? Your crush is just on a big ego trip and he loves the way he can treat you like crap and then have you eating out his hand the moment he gives you a little attention. Cut him loose and find a man who likes you for more then the hard on you give him. 3
Sauron Posted September 23, 2012 Posted September 23, 2012 What a waste of a good erection. I will give your wanna be BF some credit, personally I would have used it. You are probably still in the game, he is just waiting to see if is GF is gonna work out. If he likes to party, you may get a 1 AM booty call. Is she hotter than you?
Author dawntaylor Posted September 25, 2012 Author Posted September 25, 2012 Nah, I'm way hotter than her.
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