swedee Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Hey everyone, my first post here. I've been in a relationship for roughly 11 months at the moment, It is long distance so it's hard naturally. But we both have the personalities that can handle it. Well I thought, nevertheless our relationship was going along fine this week, Probably the strongest it's been, then my girlfriend told me some big news, that she cheated on me, 2 months ago, and didn't want to tell me because she was afraid of losing me. I was naturally angry,annoyed alot of emotions. But also glad she told me at the same time, because I want my girlfriend to be completely honest with me. What was a slap in the face was the fact she was still keeping in contact with this guy, chatting to him the same day she told me about her cheating. I responded in anger, in hinsight probably not the best. But I said it's either me in your life or him, she chose me, and said she would stop speaking to him, I ended up hanging up because I was so angry. Because of this she was under the impression I was breaking up with her. However I was just so angry and had to drive my brother to his exam, It's been 3 days since then, I have chatted to her the next days, I decided to forgive her, I made the same mistake when I was younger in a earlier relationship and it helped me grow as a person. I noticed yesterday she was acting a little colder with me, I asked her why but she said it was nothing. I finished speaking with her today, and she told me, what I said earlier about choose me or the guy made her think about our relationship and she's not sure if she still wants to be with me, and wants a couple of days of not talking to think about it. I was a bit shocked to hear this to be honest, I had just forgiven her for something pretty awful. So giving what she said to me, I'm pretty confident that the relationship will end, doesn't seem too hopeful. I have never felt bad about a possible break up or breaking up with a girl in my life, I actually vomited on the day I found out, So this is a very strange feeling for me. I don't know why I joined up here, partly to let out some of my feelings, but I'm only 22 and I'm not sure how to handle the situation I'm in. So feel free to comment on anything.
Mike_d Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 kick her to the curb, right now, quick and in a hurry. that is not the behav of a remorseful person, or someone you want to be spending your life with. NEXT!
todreaminblue Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Hey everyone, my first post here. I've been in a relationship for roughly 11 months at the moment, It is long distance so it's hard naturally. But we both have the personalities that can handle it. Well I thought, nevertheless our relationship was going along fine this week, Probably the strongest it's been, then my girlfriend told me some big news, that she cheated on me, 2 months ago, and didn't want to tell me because she was afraid of losing me. I was naturally angry,annoyed alot of emotions. But also glad she told me at the same time, because I want my girlfriend to be completely honest with me. What was a slap in the face was the fact she was still keeping in contact with this guy, chatting to him the same day she told me about her cheating. I responded in anger, in hinsight probably not the best. But I said it's either me in your life or him, she chose me, and said she would stop speaking to him, I ended up hanging up because I was so angry. Because of this she was under the impression I was breaking up with her. However I was just so angry and had to drive my brother to his exam, It's been 3 days since then, I have chatted to her the next days, I decided to forgive her, I made the same mistake when I was younger in a earlier relationship and it helped me grow as a person. I noticed yesterday she was acting a little colder with me, I asked her why but she said it was nothing. I finished speaking with her today, and she told me, what I said earlier about choose me or the guy made her think about our relationship and she's not sure if she still wants to be with me, and wants a couple of days of not talking to think about it. I was a bit shocked to hear this to be honest, I had just forgiven her for something pretty awful. So giving what she said to me, I'm pretty confident that the relationship will end, doesn't seem too hopeful. I have never felt bad about a possible break up or breaking up with a girl in my life, I actually vomited on the day I found out, So this is a very strange feeling for me. I don't know why I joined up here, partly to let out some of my feelings, but I'm only 22 and I'm not sure how to handle the situation I'm in. So feel free to comment on anything. when you say you both have personalities to deal with long distance i don't think she has or had that personality, some people dont as you obviously realise if she cheated then she doesn't have that personality but you do.I feel for you it must be hard, to deal with the betrayal and break down of your relationship....set her free, let her go. You are the one who needs a break to deal with what you have been through.......Love can be a bitch...hurts like crap,the old addage you will get over it is true how long it takes you is a completely different ball game so i cant give you any sure fire solutions ....just this be good to yourself you deserve it......you have won in a sense.....already....because you are not wasting years on someone who does not deserve your devotion or spirit....the winning is in this, now you can heal and give that devotion and spirit that you have to someone who will give it back to you like you deserve to have what you give.....good luck and best wishes......deb
Author swedee Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 I guess you both are right, I feel torn at the moment, if I should just save myself the suffering of having to wait the next 3 days for an answer from her. However part of me is hoping she will want to stay together, I guess I should man up...
LostOne1 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I guess you both are right, I feel torn at the moment, if I should just save myself the suffering of having to wait the next 3 days for an answer from her. However part of me is hoping she will want to stay together, I guess I should man up... Man I feel what you feel. My ex never fully admitted it or kinda played with my head. But a guy came in her life, who I think made her reconsider our relationship, which made her end it. I don't know if she's really with him or just used him as an excuse to be pissed off at me. But I know how it feels man. The best thing to do is have no contact. Give her time to think it over. Yes, there is a chance she will choose this other guy. But then at least you'll know she isn't worth it. If she LOVES you like my ex tells me she loves me. Then she WILL NOT leave you for another guy. She's probably just frusterated with something and for once she has an OPTION (the other guy) to compare your relationship and what she can get from him. THis will decide it all at some point. Its tough man and I feel for you, I wish I could help, but it's one of those problems that has to come out on it's own I think.. with you just having no contact with her for a bit
LostOne1 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Thanks man anytime man, and I do hope it works out. It's tough though, but sadly sometimes we can only do so much and then have to leave it all to itself to see how it unfolds.
TopCat22 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 She cheated on you. You placed your trust in her and she betrayed it. Is that the person you want to be with? If you are capable of forgiving then that's up to you, but I think you need to decide what kind of person YOU are. Do you tolerate someone doing this to you? I wouldn't. I would end it and never speak to her again, she doesn't deserve anything more.
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