NC and sister FB delete

[Svet74]

Yeah I think those letters or cards were a bit much but at least u tried and put in effort now u just have to let it go and let it be

[LostOne1]

Yeah I think those letters or cards were a bit much but at least u tried and put in effort now u just have to let it go and let it be

naww the cards and stuff was fine.. the problem is she doesn't care anymore.

 

I mean she even said the stuff I did doesn't matter to her anymore. It woulda mattered if she still loved me, but she doesn't as she said and that doing anything for her again won't mean anything. In fact when she got my video she told me to stop wasting my time.

 

I did it merely to show her I've changed and I wanna put in the effort. But as she said, what's the point of putting effort in now when it's too late. As she said If you had put in the effort before it would've meant something more. Now after it's over and I've lost my feelings for you, all of what your doing is frustrating and I don't care for it anymore.

 

 

So to me that shows I tried, but she's done. Or maybe she is confused when I talked to her and it makes her uncomfortable. I mean imagine trying to block someone out of your life and they keep finding a way to come back in... it's gotta be odd and maybe her feelings kinda return and it bugs her.

 

All I know is after we talked today I stopped talking and 20 mins later she sent me a text saying talking to me makes her so unhappy and that I frusterate her and she was finally starting to feel good till I came back into her life after our NC break of a month. I don't know what that fully means if her old feelings come back when I talk to her and it makes her feel bad, or if she her pain comes back instead and she feels more anger.

 

All I know is she can't let the hate for my sister go. And my sis made it clear to me that she won't at any cost apologize to my ex even if I don't talk to my sister anymore. So really nothing is ever gonna go well. Which is why I regret having my sis and ex meet. After they met I swear it was so ****ty to always have my ex know what I was doing at home. She'd know when I'm taking a **** or if I'm watching a movie instead of telling her I was resting. She would ask my sister and my sister would tell her.

 

In fact my sister told her many times to leave me. Then again many times she made me look better than I was and would tell her good things about me. Either way it was super tough and stressed me out a lot. It really hurt my relationship, because my ex just hated my sis more and more slowly over time.

[LostOne1]

Really?

 

Let me get this straight...

 

3 Years together and you have family visiting from England for a couple of weeks while your Ex was out of town. Due to this, you aren't able to WORSHIP your Ex 24 / 7 (like you normally do) and it leads to her breaking up.

 

Now you write a post about how it's all your fault, she can do no wrong and the sun rises and sets on her ass. Then you proceed to tell us that you need to WORSHIP the next girl even more than than you did your Ex.

 

Please do the follow:

 

1. Go to the store.

2. Buy a steak, a bake potato and a 40.

3. Marinade steak.

4. Bake your potato, grill out steak and start on 40.

5. Eat and finish the 40.

6. Watch any of the following movies: Gladiator, Die Hard, Casino Royale, etc.

7. Do 15 push ups,

8. Read what you just wrote again.

 

Then post what you think of your Ex, how you acted after the break up, your attitude and approach going forward.

See that's where yout wrong. I DIDN'T WORSHIP her at all before. When I met her year 1 I did worship her. year 2 and 3 I did **** all. She had to do everything, make plans, pay for stuff, she paid to take me on vacation, she'd get me stuff.. I only got her a bday gift and that was it..

 

I went from making her feel special to doing almost nothing. I mean yeah I helped her with the odd things here and there. But overall I went from being there for her to making her cry, upsetting her, making excuses, lying to my sister to tell her to say I was doing something else. I kinda got tired of not having my own space, and then when she gave it to me I misused it. I'd get 4-5 hrs to do my own thing, but would spend a whole day. Maybe it's wrong though, a girl should give some space to her guy to do other stuff too.

 

But my ex was wrong for what she did telling me she is with someone and expecting I'll sit there and be okay regardless if she was lying or not. I believe she was lying as I see no valid proof and knowing her enough I just can tell now. Of course someone will over react if you tell them that after 3 years and you've just gone on a trip saying you have a guy friend who tells you he likes you. That part is something I had let go of, but now I can't because I realized she can't even get past it. It was HER comment that lead me to a nonsane mode into posting how she cheated on me on Facebook. Which lead me to call my sister and tell her how hurt I was... which lead to my sister calling and fighting with her because my ex was rude to her.

 

And I realize if my ex can't even accept that she messed up then she's not worth it. She thinks she's too good and I realized her pride and ego is WAY to high. She doesn't have it in her to come down a step and say sorry. She in fact said she doesn't want to lose her self respect. But I think she already lost that with what she had said to me.

 

Everyone has told me correctly.... she just isn't worth it. Sure she did tons for me and took care of me like no other women I've been with... but what she did at the end justifies her not being worth it. If she was worth it, she would at least apologize, and/or work it out knowing her comment towards me started it all.

 

And if she can't realize that, then I don't want to be with her at all. Because I'm the sort of person, who will still apologize just to work things out with friends and all. But this time I won't sit back down and fight for her. She has to fight for it herself and if she doesn't want to then it's her loss.

[CptSaveAho]

You dont understand that she doesnt want anything to do with you... move on with your life... you are acting like the "psycho" exboyfriend that EVERYONE makes fun of

[LostOne1]

You dont understand that she doesnt want anything to do with you... move on with your life... you are acting like the "psycho" exboyfriend that EVERYONE makes fun of

I guess you didn't read my post did you? No wonder people here hate it so much. No one reads anything and just randomly posts crap.

 

I already sai'd I'm officially done now. I see she isn't gonna admit she messed up as well. So there is no point in me wasting my time fighting for something that isn't there. She's going to hold a grudge all her life and I don't want to live with a person like that.. it's simple. So that means I gotta move on and turn my head the other way and walk. There is nothing else left.

[LostOne1]

Never be THAT guy again who chases after someone who dumps you or with someone who does not want you!

 

Respect their decision and leave them alone. Let who / what you are and your relationship do all the talking for you. Anything you say or do after a break up is just going to make things worse and push them further away.

 

Totally agree with you there.. if I had come here before hand, I would have done that... if I just gave her the space she wanted, this fight we had wouldn't have gotten worse.

 

I normally would have given her space, but when this other guy came into the picture and she is 4 hours away in another city for another 2-3 weeks. It put me in a situtation I've never been in before. And well if I knew her well enough she wouldn't have left me for someone else. But I over reacted and panicked and like you said started to chase.

 

As for chasing her.. yeah you right it doesn't help.

 

But I find it odd that when I did send her the card and video and all.. she looked at it right away? I mean I remember I emailed the video link and within 2 mins she was already watching the video. If she wanted to ignore me and all, why the hell would she watch the video and read my 6-7 pages of my personal letter sent to her? Wouldn't she just throw it away and ignore me and not bother reading it if she's really done?

 

I mean if I was done with someone, and they sent me crap I'd just delete it or ignore it. Unless it's the surprise of curiousity.. and having the need to know what someone sent?

[suladas]

Just because she read it doesn't mean anything. I'm glad you're finally done with her, but then again it's not the first time you said that. Second off, next time around set boundaries with family. You are over 18 correct? You are an adult, and there is no reason for family to get involved in your relationships like that unless it's something abusive, etc.

 

The sooner you just stop caring what other people think of you the better.

[Simon Phoenix]

LostOne1, you gotta stop man. She knows where you stand -- she knew it before your most recent attempt. She's not into it now and won't be into it. Stop looking for signs of whatever. Move on.

[Svet74]

all i know is that they sound like a bunch of excuses. when someone truley loves you, they dont loose feelings for you. People change through out life, for different reasons. But love is what will keep a couple together. So dont keep blaming yourself. she didnt love you enough to fight for a relationship, even though you showed her you changed, then she is not worth it sorry

[LostOne1]

Just because she read it doesn't mean anything. I'm glad you're finally done with her, but then again it's not the first time you said that. Second off, next time around set boundaries with family. You are over 18 correct? You are an adult, and there is no reason for family to get involved in your relationships like that unless it's something abusive, etc.

 

The sooner you just stop caring what other people think of you the better.

 

Yeah next time I will for sure set boundaries. The problem was my ex took down my sis's number and I had no control over what they text back and forth. The other problems is I still live with family, so it's not like I have my own place to keep my future girlfriends away from my family that easily.

 

The problem with my sis is she's just stupid in some ways. My ex's bro and sis rarely talked to me and if I did ask about something serious they kinda shut me down nicely knowing it isn't right for them to get involved. However, my sis was stupid and always got involved and she didn't respect the boundary to understand that she should provide less info and not get involved in our personal matters. She could have learned how to shut her down nicely as my ex's bro and sis did. Which is why I never bothered to contact them to often. Where as my sis was talking to my ex on a weekly basis and meeting up for lunches and what not. That's how my ex was able to spy on me. She knew exactly what I was doing and when.. if I was taking a **** she knew.. if I was watching movies, but told her I wanted to sleep.. she knew what was really happening. I never knew till I found out it was my sis relaying that info. Then when I told my sis to calm down she told my ex that I told her to close contact. It was hell....

 

I guess by reading it confused me. Because she went from total hate for me to calmness. I mean last we talked she was pretty calm but seems more frusterated than mad. She still hasn't let go of the fight and I realized she never will so what's the point in trying. I'm wasting my time and I wanna forget the last 3 years and pretend I lost my memory and can't remember. And I want to see where life takes me next and what lies in store for me.

 

LostOne1, you gotta stop man. She knows where you stand -- she knew it before your most recent attempt. She's not into it now and won't be into it. Stop looking for signs of whatever. Move on.

 

Ya after talking to her last day. It just hit me and I lost all my feelings for her. In fact this week or next week I will be taking some stuff of her that I don't want and will leave at her doorstep. She can do what ever she wishes with the things, it won't matter to me. I just want any evidence of her in my life out of my life and away from me.

 

all i know is that they sound like a bunch of excuses. when someone truley loves you, they dont loose feelings for you. People change through out life, for different reasons. But love is what will keep a couple together. So dont keep blaming yourself. she didnt love you enough to fight for a relationship, even though you showed her you changed, then she is not worth it sorry

 

That's the thing and that's why I kept fighting for her. Because after her anger stage she was calm and talked well. But the thing is she can't let go of the fight. I mean it was HER comment that started the fight. She gets back and to push me away for a bit tells me she's with someone. Who the hell says that to someone they love? I mean even out of anger it isn't right to say. That lead me to do something horrible to, which I never would ever do. But I haven't been that hurt and angry in a LONG time. But she can't let it go.. all I hear from her is how she can't stand to see my sister now, how she has no feelings left and it died that day we fought... and how she woulda came back if it didn't happen. She never realized and can't accept she instigated the fight that day with her comment.

 

And that's when it hit me last night. That she isn't worth it anymore. If a girl makes a mistake and can't accept she did.. then she isn't worth it. If for 3 years she loved me and something like this happens and she can't forgive me and know that she messed up too. Then that isn't love and that is not a kind of person I want to be with ever. I mean I apologized, but she didn't because her ego is way to high. She has convinced herself she is the only victim and what she fails to realize is I am a victim too.

 

And that when it hit me that it's just not worth my time anymore. And I will fully feel better when I send back some gifts she gave me and know I don't have any part of her left anymore.

 

 

---

 

BTW she did harasss me today. last night I told her I was going to sell the bracelet she got me on my bday. I asked her how much it was so I can get a fair price. She told me the price and we stopped talking.

 

Then today I wake up feeling good and her out of my life she texts me and I had a meeting on a sunday she didn't believe it and so I ignored her for the day. She basically told me how I shouldn't sell the bracelet, that it looks good on me and it's made for me and it's worth more than money?

 

WTH is she pulling? I'd sell it either way, because how is it made for me? I'd accept it's made for me if she was with me. Then at least it's a sign of knowing someone I love and am with got it for me. I don't want it now, because anytime I have tried wearing it recently brings back pain and memories. I rather sell it and use the money to buy another one, that I myself get to choose. Just annoying me, because when I finally pull myself out she pulls me back in with some stupid comment

Edited October 22, 2012 by LostOne1

[Simon Phoenix]

Dude, you are pulling yourself back. Do whatever you want with the bracelet and don't worry about what hidden meanings there are.

[LostOne1]

Dude, you are pulling yourself back. Do whatever you want with the bracelet and don't worry about what hidden meanings there are.

I was just annoyed because I finally said I won't talk to her and I know she won't talk to me so it's easy. But then she sends me a damn text the next day when I didn't expect her to talk to me. Since she's never been the one to text me randomly. So it threw me off, because it didn't make sense to me as to why she would outta no where tell me the bracelt is made for me , looks good on me and not to sell it. I expected her to say screw you go sell it I don't care or say nothing at all.

 

Anyways I have decided a few things will be returned to her like all the cards she's given me (birthdays, anniversary, xmas etc..), anniversary presents that have our pictures embedded into it almost everything I can't sell or don't want to keep. A few things I will keep and put away in a box or else where for now or give to someone else to use.

 

I really want nothing of what she gave me or we got together to remain near me. That's the only way I can move on properly. Because then I won't have anything to associate myself to her anymore.

And then she can see it all on her doorstep and know that I'm also over her and I'm done with her ****. She can toss or burn or keep the stuff, I don't really care...

 

I just know I kept a note from one girl I let go of many many years ago in high school. I found her letter she wrote me and it hurt me to read it, which is why I've decided that I want nothing of my ex. I don't want to look down 5 years from now and see any evidence of her and have it hurt again. I basically told her and just want to act as if I was in coma and wake up and can't remember the last 3 years of my life. Then my past won't matter and I can only look towards making a future to keep memories I want to keep.

 

I just know I will be at peace giving it all back to her leaving it on her door step and knowing I put it all away and in my past. And Ignoring any text or emails she ever sends me afterwards.

 

Then I can look at tmrw and figure out what I want to do in life and what makes me happy. I know I feel guilty with my hobbies, because she always used to tell me I spent more time on hobbies than her. But I'm sure once I get into the hobbies again slowly and push myself.. I'll enjoy it again and the guilt will totally vanish away.

 

For future reference.. need to find a girl that loves me and doesn't take me away from my hobbies, friends, and family.

Edited October 22, 2012 by LostOne1

[LostOne1]

okay... I'm confused and tired now.

 

So since the day I talked to my ex about selling the bracelet she hasn't stopped texting me?

 

2 days ago I told her I was gonna sell it even though she insisted over and over that I keep it because it was special, made for me, looks good on me etc.. etc... I told her I'm getting rid of it and everything else that I can sell and the stuff I can't ill leave at her place. She said don't you leave anything at my place.

 

Then the next day she texts me... and now today she is texting me asking me to talk to get back to her when im free.

 

I don't get what she wants now? It's annoying when I finally decide Im through with her. She finally starts to contact me for once and for a change. I haven't responded back. I don't know why she is contacting me. Unless she feels bad about me selling the bracelt she specially got for me, or if she finally feels bad about the fight and wants to talk it out.

 

I just don't know if I want to talk to her. I kept fighting for her and starting last day I told myself I was done and started to move on. But the last 2 days and today she has been the one texting me and me mostly ignoring them.

 

I'm confused now? Am I supposed to get back to her now? Or do I ignore her to show I'm really over it and I'm not gonna fight for her anymore. I mean when I fought for her with the cards and video it didn't do crap. I don't want to fall into the damn trap again.... and be all reachable and all.

 

It's like I finally stop doing anything for her and fighting for her.. and now she's coming for me or something... maybe realizing I'm serious about being done. I haven't had time to return some stuff to her yet.. or she would for sure get the message.

 

So annoying.... sigh!

Edited October 23, 2012 by LostOne1

[Simon Phoenix]

This is why you shouldn't have kept persisting. And don't return the stuff unless she asks for it back. Just toss it or throw it in storage somewhere.

[LostOne1]

This is why you shouldn't have kept persisting. And don't return the stuff unless she asks for it back. Just toss it or throw it in storage somewhere.

ya I guess persisting didn't help too much...

 

I guess for now I will hold off on returning anything.

 

I just got a text from her saying that "I guess you won't reply then... take care".

 

That is after she sent 2 texts a few hours apart today. I ignored all of them so far and haven't replied to her.

 

Her first text was just my name, the 2nd an hour later was her asking if I could contact her back when I'm free. And the 3rd as posted above.

 

I remember someone here said you shouldn't do anything. If she wants me that bad then she will break down doors and walls to get to me if she really wants me.

[LostOne1]

So I don't know what's happening, but my ex is going crazy after me now?

 

After I made the comment a few days ago about selling the special bracelet she got for me. She has gone text insane on me.

 

Her whole break today she has been texting me non stop asking me to talk and going from I don't care and never cared and that's she left me because I ignore her and she wants to work it out etc...

 

It's like she won't leave me alone now. Maybe selling the stuff she gave me made her realize it's finally over on my end. That all the chasing I did for her is gone now and I'm really moving on?

 

It's annoying because I wanted this so bad for 2.5 months now. All I wanted was for her to finally say it... that she wants to work this out. All she ever told me was to get lost and move on with my life. And now here she is begging to hear a word from me....

 

Just feels like a dream.. all these days waiting for a text from her. And she never fought for me.. now she does it and it feels fake.. like I;m dreaming or like something will go wrong or it's just her trying to reach out only to hurt me again...

 

When I finally decided I was done with her and put away all and anything she gave me. THEN she decides to want to work it out and chase after me... *sigh

[suladas]

My guess is that she use to think you were a lifeline and would be there in case things with her current didn't work out. But realizing you wouldn't be might of screwed up her emotions. I really doubt she changed how she feels about you to much, if she really wanted you back she'd made it really clear.

[LostOne1]

My guess is that she use to think you were a lifeline and would be there in case things with her current didn't work out. But realizing you wouldn't be might of screwed up her emotions. I really doubt she changed how she feels about you to much, if she really wanted you back she'd made it really clear.

Well from what I know I doubt there is a current. If there was another guy he is 4 hours away in another city. I can't see how that works.

 

Also, her father knows about me know. 2 weeks ago when I sent her a card.. she didnt know who it was from and told her dad to open it because she was too lazy. So out came our pictures and letter and sorry card... But she surpringly wasn't mad at me for it.. and never told me what his reaction was..

 

So far she has made it clear she wants to work it out, because she's sent me 2 texts stating it. But yeah I don't really know what to say... or how to react now. It's like I wanted something for so long, but after I let it go.. it wants to come back to me.. and it feels like what's the point or do I even want it now?

 

I got tired of fighting for it, and when I don't.. I get it LOL I know a lot of people said it too.. but it's ironic how it works...

[suladas]

Well from what I know I doubt there is a current. If there was another guy he is 4 hours away in another city. I can't see how that works.

 

Also, her father knows about me know. 2 weeks ago when I sent her a card.. she didnt know who it was from and told her dad to open it because she was too lazy. So out came our pictures and letter and sorry card... But she surpringly wasn't mad at me for it.. and never told me what his reaction was..

 

So far she has made it clear she wants to work it out, because she's sent me 2 texts stating it. But yeah I don't really know what to say... or how to react now. It's like I wanted something for so long, but after I let it go.. it wants to come back to me.. and it feels like what's the point or do I even want it now?

 

I got tired of fighting for it, and when I don't.. I get it LOL I know a lot of people said it too.. but it's ironic how it works...

 

Oh ya I forgot she's the one who lied to you about there being someone else right?

 

It's really tough to say what to do, and if her feelings are true, you know her best.

 

If I was in your position and it was my ex, I would contact her back and test our her feelings, but that's me. Do you really want her back though?

[LostOne1]

Oh ya I forgot she's the one who lied to you about there being someone else right?

 

It's really tough to say what to do, and if her feelings are true, you know her best.

 

If I was in your position and it was my ex, I would contact her back and test our her feelings, but that's me. Do you really want her back though?

 

Well this afternoon I did text her back after all the text msg she sent. I told her to text me later this evening when I'm home from work and classes. And gave her a time to reach me after.

 

Well I'm not sure what her feelings are... because she always told me she HAD NO feelings left. But I never once believed it, because she was always crazy about me for 3 yrs.. and I couldn't imagine her losing those feelings in a matter of a month or 2. But she always denied it untl last day and today in her texts she sent me she did state she still feels love for me.

 

So I'm not sure what to think.. it's like she's finally opening up OR she knows shes going to lose me or has lost me. So she is making a push to come after me now knowing I won't fight for her anymore. I had made it very clear I was gonna sell things she gave me. I even asked the price of the bracelet so when I sell it I can get a fair amount back. That seemed to have triggered her to finally come after me.

 

It was the first time she was actually texting me for once. And telling me not to sell it and to keep it. Which makes no sense, because if she wants nothing to do with me.. then why would she care what I do with the bracelet. She should care less if I sell it, throw it away, wear it.. etc.. It shouldn't matter if she doesn't care and has moved on.

[Simon Phoenix]

You might as well text her back at this point, just so you'll stop guessing and overanalyzing everything. I'm not sure if she wants you back or not -- I'd guess no -- but you might as well find out for sure. Whatever you do do not allow it to stay in limbo though. You've gone all the way down the rabbit hole, you might as well figure out what's going on at this point.

[LostOne1]

You might as well text her back at this point, just so you'll stop guessing and overanalyzing everything. I'm not sure if she wants you back or not -- I'd guess no -- but you might as well find out for sure. Whatever you do do not allow it to stay in limbo though. You've gone all the way down the rabbit hole, you might as well figure out what's going on at this point.

yeah... I have no idea what is going on.

 

I can say though at this point I am at the point where I don't care.

 

I mean I am happy enough to move on now, because I know I can find someone better.

 

But at the same time.. if she is willing to fight for me to show she does want me back. I would consider getting back or just trying to meet up to see what happens.

 

But right now I am super confused.. it feels like she is playing a game or something. I don't see how someone tells you to get out of their life and then when you leave they come after you. So something is up for sure....

[Simon Phoenix]

yeah... I have no idea what is going on.

 

I can say though at this point I am at the point where I don't care.

 

I mean I am happy enough to move on now, because I know I can find someone better.

 

But at the same time.. if she is willing to fight for me to show she does want me back. I would consider getting back or just trying to meet up to see what happens.

 

But right now I am super confused.. it feels like she is playing a game or something. I don't see how someone tells you to get out of their life and then when you leave they come after you. So something is up for sure....

 

Who knows. What you need to do is figure out what you want. Do you want her back? Do you want to move on? Stop thinking about what she could want or what she is thinking and figure out what you want. Once you do that, then you proceed -- either trying to get back with her, trying to be friends and not getting back with her, or just killing her out of your life. But you need to formulate what YOU want (not want she might want you to do or anything like that) before you do anything.

 

All you know is that she's blowing up your phone. Don't guess at why or bend your mind around trying to figure it out or using logic. Women as a whole are guided by feelings more than logic (no offense ladies) so don't try to figure out possible meanings of her actions. Figure out what you want and then do your thing, but do not go in without having a plan of action.

[LostOne1]

Who knows. What you need to do is figure out what you want. Do you want her back? Do you want to move on? Stop thinking about what she could want or what she is thinking and figure out what you want. Once you do that, then you proceed -- either trying to get back with her, trying to be friends and not getting back with her, or just killing her out of your life. But you need to formulate what YOU want (not want she might want you to do or anything like that) before you do anything.

 

All you know is that she's blowing up your phone. Don't guess at why or bend your mind around trying to figure it out or using logic. Women as a whole are guided by feelings more than logic (no offense ladies) so don't try to figure out possible meanings of her actions. Figure out what you want and then do your thing, but do not go in without having a plan of action.

Well if I can I would rather work it out with her and not end it. That's my 1st preferance. So I've texted her back, but no reply.

 

I'm guessing because I ignored her earlier, so she will ignore me now as payback.. and if that is the reason.. then I don't know why I'm even talking to her... if she has to be immature like that. I'll wait a bit longer and see, will do some project work in the meantime.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well if I can I would rather work it out with her and not end it. That's my 1st preferance. So I've texted her back, but no reply.

 

I'm guessing because I ignored her earlier, so she will ignore me now as payback.. and if that is the reason.. then I don't know why I'm even talking to her... if she has to be immature like that. I'll wait a bit longer and see, will do some project work in the meantime.

 

No matter what you do, do not send a followup text. If she doesn't text you back within 24 hours, that has to be that.