suladas Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Exactly. That's the problem. This latest interaction is going to prop up more questions and he's going to be tempted to try to reach out again and it's going to continue to keep stunting his progress if he continues to act on it. He emailed her a long message before doing this Thanksgiving thing that she hadn't responded to. I get why holidays bring out those feelings -- you're with loved ones and it's only natural to feel lonely and long for what you don't/once had -- but acting on it isn't good. I hope this will finally give him closure and he can move on, but I fear it's going to come up again. It very well may. It is only beneficial if he used it for the closure and never tries to contact her again. I can understand though about thanksgiving a lot on friday and saturday I really figured I was going to reach out because of the holiday, sunday and today came and I was like f**k that sh*t. I'd rather punch myself in the face then be nice to her again and reach out to her.
Svet74 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 The fact that you apologized is all you can really do. it might take time but she might come around or she might not. I dont know your story or who broke up with who. If my ex apologized then yeah i would prob be on better terms. I doubt that id still be talking to him though. only because ive told him many times i didnt want to be friends or talking unles it was to reconcile. so if he wanted to apologize and get the guilt off his chest then so be it. But its been 2 months and so far he has said nothing. He actually tried acting like nothing happened about 3 weeks after the whole thing happened. So yeah.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It very well may. It is only beneficial if he used it for the closure and never tries to contact her again. I can understand though about thanksgiving a lot on friday and saturday I really figured I was going to reach out because of the holiday, sunday and today came and I was like f**k that sh*t. I'd rather punch myself in the face then be nice to her again and reach out to her. Yeah I got a month and a half until the American Thanksgiving. I can't imagine I'll do anything unless there is a major change in our interaction between now and then though. Plus XMas is more of the "I would love to have a girlfriend wth me" holiday than Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about eating like an a--hole and watching football, two things that I don't need a woman around to enjoy
Author LostOne1 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Exactly. That's the problem. This latest interaction is going to prop up more questions and he's going to be tempted to try to reach out again and it's going to continue to keep stunting his progress if he continues to act on it. He emailed her a long message before doing this Thanksgiving thing that she hadn't responded to. I get why holidays bring out those feelings -- you're with loved ones and it's only natural to feel lonely and long for what you don't/once had -- but acting on it isn't good. I hope this will finally give him closure and he can move on, but I fear it's going to come up again. I might be tempted to still contact her I won't lie. But for this week for sure I want to leave her alone. My task was really to get as much info out of her without upsetting her more. But when I first texted her I saw the hate. Oddly the hate was MORE pointed towards my sister than to me. When I apologized to her she told me to MAKE my sister apologize. I told her that I CAN'T MAKE anyone say sorry, but that I know my sis does feel bad about it and if she feels like she wants to make an apology to you she will... but that I would not force her. Also I added that I apologized because I felt it, not because I was forcing it. So from then on she seemed VERY calm and cool and talked nicely with me. Which at least showed some sign of caring. And at least I know she feels something and not pure hate. The reason I want to leave her a long is, because it isn't worth it to bug her. She knows im sorry and texting every day won't help. As for me.. Im honestly fine talking to her today brought no pain at all. if anything it got me more frusterated because she had so many things assumed wrong about me. She thought I ignored her, when in fact I didn't... To me it seemed like her frusteration with me built up and she popped on her trip. I don't know if it's ever possible to talk to her in person again. Do I have some hope, I won't lie I wouldn't give up that easily. BUT, I'm not going to force it either. I mean talking to her helped me 2 a point where I can still live my life. It's tough because I'll have to live knowing she wanted more effort from me and I stopped putting it forward. And that cost me this girl and our relationship. That's the tough part to live with.... She had made it clear she wants me to leave her alone and for once she said it nicely without cussing me out. So I noticed some improvements on this 2nd day. Does it mean I think I can win her over.. no really. But I can try and I'm not going to push it or force it. She did say it felt like I was forcing her telling her about memories. Maybe she felt guilty or her feelings she is trying to push away were coming back. All I know is she was the type of person to have VERY strong feelings and is strong emotionally. So I doubt the 3 yrs of love is gone... but I can see how hurt she must be. She says she's happier with life, and who knows maybe she is... I still never asked or pushed to find out if there is another guy. But I'm glad we talked, because I hated her and wanted to do what ever I could to get back at her. Now I feel more like I've matured enough to admit my mistakes. She actually said she sees the change in me, but feels it's too late now. Can't blame her, it must be tough to throw someone out of your life only to hear from them again and see that person is who you wanted. And I know shes not a machine that can turn a switch on and off for her feelings.
Author LostOne1 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 The fact that you apologized is all you can really do. it might take time but she might come around or she might not. I dont know your story or who broke up with who. If my ex apologized then yeah i would prob be on better terms. I doubt that id still be talking to him though. only because ive told him many times i didnt want to be friends or talking unles it was to reconcile. so if he wanted to apologize and get the guilt off his chest then so be it. But its been 2 months and so far he has said nothing. He actually tried acting like nothing happened about 3 weeks after the whole thing happened. So yeah. well for me it was her who left.. I thought it was another guy she met. But it seems like she did it, because she got tired of putting in the effort to keep the relationship alive. Then she got back to town after a 2 month trip away and wouldn't meet up with me. I don't know if she in fact found a new guy (i doubt it from what I've heard) and she almost seemed like she didn't want to talk to me. So I lashed out on her, because she did promise she would see me. I felt like she cheated on me when she told me and posted on FB about her cheating with her name. it was stupid and my sis told me to take it down. But I was so enraged in pain and anger I didn't listen or stay calm. Then my sister called her to talk, but it ended up into a fight as well. Like I said earlier, my ex seems MORE hurt by my sis than by me. I don't know if my sis will apologize. She seems like she doesn't care about my ex and felt she was 2 faced. She would do it for me, but I don't see the reason to have a fake sorry. Anyways I did say sorry to my ex and talked for a bit msotly text though. She seemed to say she has nothing against me now. But did lose respect and can't see how she would be with me again. I can't blame her she must have felt really hurt by it all. I basically told her how all of us hurt each other. I mean I said things, she said things, my sis said things and I realize now none of us meant to say anything rude, but everyone got caught in the heat of things that everyone went all out guns blazing. I don't know if she will get over the hate. I know I am over the hate, but I won't force her. That will just push her away and piss her off. For now she wants to be alone, so I won't say anything. Im just glad she knows I do care and I didn't mean it. I don't know if my sis saying sorry will make a difference or not. I mean it might help her get rid of the anger for my sis and for what happened... I don't know fully. Since you been through it maybe you would know more.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I might be tempted to still contact her I won't lie. But for this week for sure I want to leave her alone. My task was really to get as much info out of her without upsetting her more. But when I first texted her I saw the hate. Oddly the hate was MORE pointed towards my sister than to me. When I apologized to her she told me to MAKE my sister apologize. I told her that I CAN'T MAKE anyone say sorry, but that I know my sis does feel bad about it and if she feels like she wants to make an apology to you she will... but that I would not force her. Also I added that I apologized because I felt it, not because I was forcing it. So from then on she seemed VERY calm and cool and talked nicely with me. Which at least showed some sign of caring. And at least I know she feels something and not pure hate. The reason I want to leave her a long is, because it isn't worth it to bug her. She knows im sorry and texting every day won't help. As for me.. Im honestly fine talking to her today brought no pain at all. if anything it got me more frusterated because she had so many things assumed wrong about me. She thought I ignored her, when in fact I didn't... To me it seemed like her frusteration with me built up and she popped on her trip. I don't know if it's ever possible to talk to her in person again. Do I have some hope, I won't lie I wouldn't give up that easily. BUT, I'm not going to force it either. I mean talking to her helped me 2 a point where I can still live my life. It's tough because I'll have to live knowing she wanted more effort from me and I stopped putting it forward. And that cost me this girl and our relationship. That's the tough part to live with.... She had made it clear she wants me to leave her alone and for once she said it nicely without cussing me out. So I noticed some improvements on this 2nd day. Does it mean I think I can win her over.. no really. But I can try and I'm not going to push it or force it. She did say it felt like I was forcing her telling her about memories. Maybe she felt guilty or her feelings she is trying to push away were coming back. All I know is she was the type of person to have VERY strong feelings and is strong emotionally. So I doubt the 3 yrs of love is gone... but I can see how hurt she must be. She says she's happier with life, and who knows maybe she is... I still never asked or pushed to find out if there is another guy. But I'm glad we talked, because I hated her and wanted to do what ever I could to get back at her. Now I feel more like I've matured enough to admit my mistakes. She actually said she sees the change in me, but feels it's too late now. Can't blame her, it must be tough to throw someone out of your life only to hear from them again and see that person is who you wanted. And I know shes not a machine that can turn a switch on and off for her feelings. Dude, you need to let it go man. This is why I was against you sending her that email, and doing this. You are overthinking it again. She said she doesn't want to be with you. You have to allow her to be by herself. She knows where you stand, it's up to her now. You have to let her make the next move. I just think you are going to keep pushing this and pushing this and it's not going to end well for you or her. If you got closure from this, that's good. The way it reads though you didn't.
Author LostOne1 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Dude, you need to let it go man. This is why I was against you sending her that email, and doing this. You are overthinking it again. She said she doesn't want to be with you. You have to allow her to be by herself. She knows where you stand, it's up to her now. You have to let her make the next move. I just think you are going to keep pushing this and pushing this and it's not going to end well for you or her. If you got closure from this, that's good. The way it reads though you didn't. oh no I got closure, though it makes me blame myself more. Because it feels like the REAL answer to her wanting to break up was me not communicating enough to her during the trip she was away. However, I told her my side that she didn't understand what I was going through as well, which lead me to not not communicating enough. But the thing is her hate is still strong enough to not let go. I'm not pushing it anymore, sure I still want to talk to her. But my main goal was to get rid of her anger and calm it down. For her to realize what I did and she did was out of anger and being hurt.. not that it was revenge. She gets it I think... so I haven't said much now. See the email was worthless.. why? because she deleted it right away. She was so full on hate anything to do with me was wiped out. Surprisingly she only talked to me via text, and maybe she had no choice. But it was the ONLY way to reach her and get her the full story and apologize. Because she wasn't reading my emails to hear my apology. I'm just glad she is more calm now and knows I mean't no harm. But yeah, I don't wanna push it more now, because I think she slowly feels forced or pressured by me throwing out memories or feelings for her. Not sure if it's because she feels guilty, or if she has feelings and it hurts her to go against them.
Svet74 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 For now. you need to let the whole thing go for now and give her space. u did what you could and apologized. there is no reason for you to keep going. let her do her thing and u yours. She might be talking to a new guy who knows. but you trying to still keep talking to her will not get her to miss you. so i would suggest you kinda just fall of the face of the earth for a while. and eventually she will start wondering what happened to you. and lay off facebook for a while as well
Author LostOne1 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 For now. you need to let the whole thing go for now and give her space. u did what you could and apologized. there is no reason for you to keep going. let her do her thing and u yours. She might be talking to a new guy who knows. but you trying to still keep talking to her will not get her to miss you. so i would suggest you kinda just fall of the face of the earth for a while. and eventually she will start wondering what happened to you. and lay off facebook for a while as well do you think with my sister apologizing it would help? or does that seem desperate to a point where she might think his sis is saying sorry too now, because they want me back in their life? Like I said.. she was MUCH more mad with the fight with my sister over the fight with me. I personally will lay low now... but I do know she said MAKE your sister say sorry when she was angry. I told her that if my sister feels like it she will do it, but i won't MAKE her. Because then it wouldn't be a real sorry like the one I'm giving you. And my sister feels some what bad, but it was more miscommunication I think which lead to their fight. They both felt something different and neither of them understood how they were hurting, so they went off on each other.
Svet74 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 yeah you cant make your sister apologize. she should if she feels like she should. or your ex will know its a fake apology. and even if your sis does apologize. that wont mean that she will still want to talk to you
CopingGal Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Forget about facebook- get off. Get out of MSN messaging. Leave all that nonsense behind and just heal.
Author LostOne1 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 yeah you cant make your sister apologize. she should if she feels like she should. or your ex will know its a fake apology. and even if your sis does apologize. that wont mean that she will still want to talk to you true... I just was so shocked though when we talked.. because she concentrated so much towards what my sister did.. it took my by surprise. She kept saying she cared for me and my sister screwed it all up for me by bitching her out and so on. I don't know if she said it so I'd get mad at my sister and go off on my own sister. I kinda held composure towards it. As for my sister, she says she doesn't have much to be sorry for. Because she feels my ex went against what she always told her. I said I think my ex and my sister went off one each other, because they both are hot headed and also they both her angry and frustrated prior to them talking. it makes me wonder if my ex doesn't wanna talk to me much, because she thinks or feels that with my sis and her fighting it means nothing can be resolved? But like I said.. I was so shocked that her anger was mostly at my sister. Maybe she just felt hurt, because we both were the closet people to her heart, and she felt like we both turned on her, which isn't true and I explained that to her.
Svet74 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 your sister has nothing to do with it, shes just using her as an excuse, so she doesnt have to tell you the truth on how she feels about you. my ex did the same thing, Id fix all the things he thought i was doing wrong, and when i did, he couldnt come up with anymore excuses and so i realized what i did had nothing to do with me. He was the problem. same goes for your ex
suladas Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Like everyone else is saying, you have to let her make any further move. Nothing you can do will help things. It's tough but it is the best thing to do. It is pretty clear you did it more to get her back then closure, which is fine but you can't keep trying it will only make things worse.
Author LostOne1 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 ya I decided to not say anything now. I know if I push more right now.. it's gonna feel forced and just push her away. So Im gonna lay off and give it some time.
Author LostOne1 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 your sister has nothing to do with it, shes just using her as an excuse, so she doesnt have to tell you the truth on how she feels about you. my ex did the same thing, Id fix all the things he thought i was doing wrong, and when i did, he couldnt come up with anymore excuses and so i realized what i did had nothing to do with me. He was the problem. same goes for your ex wait.. what do you mean about what she feels about me? As in shes mad with me or she cares still for me? Like I said.. I was shocked she had more hateful things to say about my sis than towards me. I'm kinda glad I took her hate away, but time will tell if it has really gone away. I just know it was good to see her being much more calm then to swear and show her anger out.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 wait.. what do you mean about what she feels about me? As in shes mad with me or she cares still for me? Like I said.. I was shocked she had more hateful things to say about my sis than towards me. I'm kinda glad I took her hate away, but time will tell if it has really gone away. I just know it was good to see her being much more calm then to swear and show her anger out. She had more hateful things to say about your sister because your sister wasn't there and it was an easy way to talk about her issues without having a direct conflict with you. I'm sure she doesn't like your sister, but I doubt your sister had much, if anything, to do with the break. She was a perfect scapegoat for your ex to avoid dealing with your conflict head on in a conversation with you that I'm sure was extremely uncomfortable for her. But yeah, like everyone else is saying, you have to let this settle. No more communication with the ex unless she's the one who initiates it. You still are hanging on, and you aren't going to keep growing and really move forward until you stop all that.
Svet74 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 She had more hateful things to say about your sister because your sister wasn't there and it was an easy way to talk about her issues without having a direct conflict with you. I'm sure she doesn't like your sister, but I doubt your sister had much, if anything, to do with the break. She was a perfect scapegoat for your ex to avoid dealing with your conflict head on in a conversation with you that I'm sure was extremely uncomfortable for her. But yeah, like everyone else is saying, you have to let this settle. No more communication with the ex unless she's the one who initiates it. You still are hanging on, and you aren't going to keep growing and really move forward until you stop all that. just like he said. the sister was just an excuse. her feelings for you might have changed but she prob could not tell you, because she was afraid of how you will react. prob didnt want to lose you for good yet. until she makes up her mind
Author LostOne1 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 So I wanted to make an update. I sent her an email about a week ago. Well It was a greeting card with my email. I can tell if she read it, because it has a way to notify me when the person accesses it. So I was on late at night almost 1 am working on my assignment and projects. I run my email on the side, so I can see live email updates. Anyways I was shocked.. my ex ACTUALLY read my greetingcard/email. The system notified me that she read it at almost 1 am. I was shocked, because I had sent it at least over a week ago. She never bothered to read it, but now she does? Though I will say the system sent a 2nd email eg "Reminder X has sent you a card, you have not read it yet! view it now". I know it sent a reminder email again this week, because my spare email got it too. Is this a good sign at all? I haven't texted or contacted her for a few days since we texted. I don't plan on pushing it at all now, I think like everyone says it's best for her to think and feel it out. I don't know why she was on that late though up till 1 am? Talking to someone else? I mean she has to wake up for work at 6-7am LOL. Unless what I said to her was bugging her and she had to end up reading my email. Don't know and no use overthinking it. Just shocked me, because I really didn't think she would ever read my email.. or not so soon. My mom is back to work after sick leave too. Funny enough my ex works at the same place my mom does. So I wouldn't be surprised if they crash into each other. Maybe she will miss me more seeing my mom. Ironically this exact time last year she was also working at my mom's work, and gave her candy on haloween.
Svet74 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 your over analazying. she might have missed your email last week but came upon it this week. either way dont read into it. this changes nothing
Author LostOne1 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 your over analazying. she might have missed your email last week but came upon it this week. either way dont read into it. this changes nothing that is true.. thought I really doubt she missed my email before. My emails go into her special inbox and she would know. And, honestly I never expected her to read my email at all. I kinda thought she was never going to read it and that's how it was going to be... I guess I was just shocked that she actually read it and didn't delete it right away.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Sorry LostOne1, I don't think it changes a thing. Unless she contacts you, assume it means nothing at all. You really need to stop trying to guess what she's thinking.
Author LostOne1 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 Sorry LostOne1, I don't think it changes a thing. Unless she contacts you, assume it means nothing at all. You really need to stop trying to guess what she's thinking. true.. well I wasn't really trying to guess what she was thinking.. I was just shocked to get an email stating she had read my email/card I sent... I mean I really NEVER expected her to read it. After the hate I saw from her for me.... I just gave up on her reading my email either never or at least anytime soon, or to a point where I wouldn't care. I expected she would read it when I sent it that week, but now over 1 week and she has read it.. kinda hit my by surprise. And that at a time when a normal person isn't online that late in the night. I was up working on last minute assignment work, so it was normal for me to be on that late. I guess it gave me an ego boost. Honestly since last night, I have been feeling good about my own self. I don't know why? I mean I haven't even thought of her all day. I was thinking of myself today and what I wanted to do and just felt happy. Maybe it's knowing that she read my email after all.. regardless of the outcome. Kinda feel like I got the hate out of her to a point where she doesn't hate me. Doesn't mean she loves me, but I guess I felt better about myself. Maybe it's cause I felt like even as bad as this situation is.. at least she was nice enough to read my email and not hold on to the hate to not read it. Been planning my haloween costume to have a fun time partying it up in the weeks to come. I haven't gone to a halloween party since I've been with my ex. So it will be fun to hang with my friends and have some fun! I created my own arc reactor from scratch with some random electronic parts... now it looks just like iron man's arc reactor in his chest..
robaday Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Mate Ive seen signs too, signs that shes thinking of me, wants to get my attention, that she wants to hear from me. But reality is she hasnt contacted me. My brain is convincing myself that shes writing on mutual friends walls every day on facebook, or is online late, or is talking to my friends about me........when reality is, it means nothing, absolutely nothing, because she has stated she wants absolutely nothing to do with me. Please, get out of this habit, I know its normal to read into things, it is, but please, you could screw up your brain thinking about these things and really it wont make a blind bit of difference. All it takes is for you to go out one night, get wasted and get it into your head she really wants to talk to you. And then youll really screw things up.......Its devastating to accept but we have to accept mate, that they want nothing to do with us at this present time. And if they do decide to reach out in future, its because we left them alone........I know its hard mate, but with every day that goes by, Im comforted by the fact that I know shes not coming back this time, I know that, and that gives me the emphasis to move on as quickly as I can and focus on the rest of my life.
Author LostOne1 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Posted October 21, 2012 Well here is an update. Talked this week with her. Basically had dropped off a sorry card at her house with a personal letter and pictures. She told me her dad accidentally opened it for her.. but she never told me what happened. I know her dad would have been pissed, but maybe he's happy we are broken up. He doesn't want her to a have a b.f even though shes 25 like me. Anyways, I talked to her after she was VERY calm compared to before. She said the same things... A week later I made a private video appologzing and put up a slide show. She liked it a lot, and said I wish you did this stuff before. But once again she said her feelings are lost. So today we talk again.. guess what she didn't cheat on me. She said when she got back, she wanted me to leave her alone and I didn't. So she told me she is with someone else, which lead me to post crap about her on FB, which lead my sister to fight with her. After that she said she lost any and all feelings for me. But I have noticed she talks properly now through texts and still is VERY hateful towards my sister. Even stating that 1 reason she cant be with me is because she can't stand to be part of my life and know my sister is part of it too. My sister did say some harsh things to her and made rude comments. Anyways I did try to explain how what she did and how she disrespected me and our love for 3 yrs by stating she was with someone else to get me off her back. Personally I think it's wrong to do and from that it lead to a even larger problem. It was sad because shes so stubborn she can't admit she was wrong. And truth me told I slowly have realized we can't fix this now. And I don't even want to try after knowing she feels no remorse for what she did and said to me. I mean I reacted horribly by posting crap about her on FB, but I wasn't in a good mindset. My sister even told me to take it down and I didn't. She did say that if the fight didn't happen when she got back with the FB posting anf my sister. Then she woulda come back to me. Is it true? I'm not sure. I just know that all my friends and family said if a girl who loves you can say that to you just to get you away from her for a bit. Then she isn't worth it, because no one that loves you would say that and go that far to say it.. especially coming off a 2 month trip and having a guy friend there. So I'm gonna stop chasing her, and I'm gonna stop trying. I realize no matter what I do I can't fix this now. it's over and it's over and she is gonna be stubborn and is made of stone now. No matter what I say in her mind she wasn't wrong for what she said to me and I was only wrong for what I did to her. And if a person has that mental set, then you can't beat them and win. And I rather use my time else where. I will say NC works but you need to use it properly. If I followed my friends advice.. I think i'd be okay now. Because I woulda kept NC on her trip halfway which woulda made her miss me, then she gets back keep NC and wait for her to contact me. I was stupid and got scared thinking there is a guy friend on her trip and she might not miss me with NC and end up with him. But I was wrong..... She gets back I became aggresive to push her to see me... didn't use NC and it might have worked and made her feel I moved on. So NC works.. but in the right situtions. Using NC after our fight did nothing, but push her away more. If I had talked to her 1-2 days later we coulda worked it out I think.. but waiting a month after our fight made her just hate me more and she lost her feelings. Anyways I look at it as a lesson now. I can't win her back, and I don't think I want to now. She just isn't worth it anymore and I don't want to fight for a person, who can't come down to my level to say sorry. Sometime this week I will probably go by her place and drop off all the cards, some presents I don't want and leave it for her. She can throw them away if she wants. I rather have her see it one last time to know that I'm seriously done fighting for her now. I want to move on now and yeah life is scary to move on after I made so many plans with her. But I can make new plans now with the unexpected life that lays ahead of me. But I hope people can learn from my 3 yrs of true love. Don't take the girl for granted, don't stop putting in effort, don't get her too attached to your family members or she will harass them about what you are doing, try to do something special every month for her and just support her when she needs you and always listen -- I got myself into this problem long before, I had once chance to fix it and I blew it not using NC properly earlier. Sadly I didn't know about this place until our latter fight. Or maybe people here would've given me some good advice and saved this fight. Well folks I'm off now, I don't know if I'll be back. Maybe to helps others after I fully heal and move on fully. But I wish everyone else the best and thanks to all those that helped me here. Adios
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