dumped on christmas day

[gussy81]

hi everyone, i finally decided to put my story online. maybe it will help me move on with my life just a little. we were together almost 5 years and we had just bought a house. a week after moving in i sensed there was something off - i decided to confront my gf - she said she doesnt feel the same way about me anymore. so on xmas night i was told our relationship was over. i was crushed (still am). the problem is we both own and live in our house. i never saw this coming - i thought maybe it was nerves with the moving or something. its been 6 months and we still live together. we have very short conversations now. i feel like she was able to move on emotionally so fast. if i am honest im still not over her. she meant everything to me - maybe its dumb to invest your life in a person. i feel so let down.

 

you ever have a dream - then its taken away from you at the last second? i dont meet girls easily so i cant just find another girl and move on. all my friends are getting married so i feel like my life is back to square one. i recently went on holidays alone - i thought id maybe find romance on my travels - nothing. i find it so hard to see my situation changing. i went on a date with a girl i met online - what a disaster - she was not my type at all. tried to join a local club in my area too and there was a poor showing so nothing came of it.

 

sometimes you just need a boost - but its just not happening right now. ive tried to bury my head in work - but thats kinda not working some days.

 

any1 have any advice? i know we should sell the house - but i out my lifetime savings into the house. i dont thinik there has ever been a couple who bought a house and broke up a week later.

 

my pride has taken a massive blow over the past months -i lie to most people about my situation because im too ashamed about buying a house and then getting dumped.

 

thanks for reading

G

Edited September 21, 2012 by gussy81
typo

[not-a-drive-by]

Living with an ex will never make moving on easy. Have you thought about moving out of the house, and negotiate with you ex to rent out the room you use? Probably not too practical unless you have elsewhere to crash. Selling the house may be the best option. You shouldn't really lose money from selling a house, but depends on the current market.

 

Love will find you when you least expect it. So just make friends now and see where it leads you. I know how you feel. I don't meet guys easily and can't find another guy to replace my ex. It brings me back memories of my ex when you mentioned you went on a date with a girl you met online. Me and my ex met online, and it was the best 2.5 years of my life. Unfortunately, he is gone .

 

The lies also needs to stop. It will only make it harder, because you are constantly putting yourself in denial and putting an act in front of others is quite difficult. Don't feel ashamed. You don't need to give them reasons on why it didn't work out, or who dumped who. Something like, we're not together anymore will be more than sufficient. And if they dig, say you don't want to talk about it. Acting as if you are still in a relationship with your ex, will crush you.

[LostOne1]

man I feel you, I feel the same way and in some ways I don't know if having a house with my ex woulda been good. We always wanted a place of our own, but after our breakup. I think I realized I woulda regretted my life with her in some ways.

 

As for getting girls, man I know how you feel. I feel the exact same. THis girl was the one I was going to marry and start a family with, and she wanted it more than me. You create a life and plans, and then BOOM those plans just die and shatter. I know man and I'm honestly not over it myself. I feel like I also have to start from scratch.

 

5 years is a long time man, for me it was 3 and she left around the week of our anniversary. I wish I could say something, but all I can say is no contact is the only way to feel any better at all. And even then you won't fully feel good, but talking to her and seeing her hurts more. Because then you know she doesn't want you and it hurts a lot.

 

I never understand women... after 3-5 years they leave a guy or lose something. But yet they invest so much and only to just throw it away.

 

I wish I could be more of help buddy, but all I can say is it's gonna hurt for awhile.

 

I think in some way your right, it kinda is dumb to invest in another person and not your own self. In my case going to Uni and having a gf and planning life with her, yet my own life isn't fully set yet.....

[gussy81]

thanks guys. cant really sell the house as the market is so bad at the moment. renting is the only option now. but after putting your life savings into a deposit for a house the last thing i want to do is rent it out to strangers! but i suppose this is the result of life and making mistakes. i will not trust another woman for a long time which is a horrible thing to say but ive been burnt badly on this one.