She cheated on me and left me for my best friend

[Shyguy90]

OK so. 4 years ago we met, became friends, dated for a little under a year and I fell in love with the girl. As summer passed she had to go away back to school [close to 5 hours away?] we thought we could hack in but in the end she basically left me, wanted a break, and 2 weeks later winds up with another guy. I tried getting over her. Dating other girls and nothing work, I still constantly thought of her. Over a year passes and she comes back to live locally and we started talking/hanging out again. I put up a front to show I was ok. That nothing bothered me and I was the happiest person in the world as long as she was happy. Soon enough though we started going back out again.

 

Now..close to 2 years with her, she broke up with me, and a month later dates my best friend who also broke up with his ex of 5 years because of sexual frustration. I can see why she broke up with me. I kind of smothered her out of fear towards the end that she would leave me. Again. In the back of my mind I couldn't completely get passed it even though day by day I was getting better. But with a crappy job and weight gain I became more negative about myself and that effected the relationship more. But...she never said anything to me. She was always smiling and laughing so I never knew anything was wrong. I even asked if everything was ok and she said everything was perfect. Nothing was wrong. The last month of our relationship I found out because she went to my best friend about it and they BOTH had a conversation with me at the same time. I didn't know what the hell was going on or where it even came from. I stand by my mistake and I need to learn from it, but it was something that could have been EASILY worked passed.

 

In the end, even though my friends ex and myself were told they wouldn't, they are now dating. And I don't know what the hell to do because I still love this woman. More and more I'm becoming detached to the situation and I've been going to the gym a lot (3-4 hours..) just to occupy and distract myself. Hanging with friends too. But still in the end I can't get over the fact that somebody will tell you how much they're in love you and drop/replace you.

 

More recently though I found out she actually cheated on me with him a month before we broke up. His ex still doesn't know about anything that's going on and I feel tempted to tell her about everything. My "best friend" has cheated on his ex 3 times..now including my ex. Her and I spoke because I wanted closure on this since both of them NEVER said anything to me. She said she's the happiest she's ever been....that she's happier with him than she was with me. That she's so in love with him. That they share so much in common, they're pretty ****ing compatible, and they're basically the male/female versions of each other. I don't care if it's the honeymoon phase or not but hearing it was like ripping my heart out and nuking it. At least she's happy I guess...

 

It's funny...because I tried having meaningless sex with a girl recently because her and I just got out of these type of relationships. In the end it didn't work for either of us because I was drunk and couldn't get my mind off my ex. When my ex harped I wasn't even trying to get over her I told her this and for some reason it bothered her I tried having sex with another girl? It also bothered her if a friend of mine came back because she still believe this friend of mine is in love with me.

 

For now I told her I'll contact her when I'm ready. Though I completely f*cking broke down beforehand [she didn't know].

 

My "best friend" just texted me today asking to chill and I told him straight-foward "I know what happened and I'm not comfortable even considering hanging with you right now. I might not be for a while."

 

I feel like a "Good Luck Chuck"...and besides trying to get by day by day I don't know what to do because I STILL love her. And...if this is how things are going to be I don't want to anymore. I want to forget and kill these emotions. I know I made a mistake...I won't ignore that fact. But did Karma really have to punch me in the face and kick me while I was down? My first true love cheats on me, leaves me for my best friend, and tells me how much she's in love with him and basically he's better than me. I got completely f*cked over..and I'm utterly heart broken, and it's hard to take people for their word now since she told me so much then while on the phone with me recently said "I told you what you wanted to hear." Which I know...wasn't entirely true.

 

Edit:

-I forgot to mention I'm 22 and she's 23.

-Before recently I haven't spoken to either of them in about 2 weeks...she came out of nowhere and texted me just to talk..

-She cheated on me around mid July, broke up with me at the end of July, and hung around my "friend" all of August. They started dating

at the end of August and within two weeks fell in love with each other. F*ck it hurts even typing that...

-She did at one point get really pissed at me when we spoke because I said I wanted space and said "Neither of you need me around anyway." She basically said "Fine bye. F*ck you, and I hope you get over me :] Have a good life." Then when I asked her what the hell she apologized because she said "I don't know what you want but I'm trying to let you back in my life. Why can't you see that?" My friends say that she wants her Cake and Eat it too...why can't she see what she did after all this.

 

Apparently I had to do something horrible for Karma to really come after me like this...

Edited September 21, 2012 by Shyguy90

[seibert253]

First, I can't understand why you even entertain the thought of comunicating with either of these POS's.

 

Go NC. You will not begin to heal until they both are out of your life.

Really, your EX BF wants to chill after cheating wi th your EX Gf? He already stuck a knife in your back and now wants totwist it.

 

You need tell them both to F*ck off.

Your young my friend. You will find the woman of your dreams and a true friend. These two are not it.

[Quiet Storm]

You need to cut both of these people out of your life.

 

They are both selfish, and have no respect for you or your feelings.

 

Even if you got her back, what would you have? A woman that cheated on you with your friend? You would never be able to trust her. She is no prize.

 

And your so called friend. He's laughing at you behind your back. A true friend would not have done this. You don't need people like this in your life.

 

These people do not genuinely care about you. When we are kids, our parents protect us and keep shady people away from us. As adults, it's our job to do this for ourselves. You've seen what these people are capable of, and now it's time to cut them out of your life. Be your own best friend. Look out for your own interests. Respect yourself.

 

There are plenty of people in this world that won't do you like this. Let these lowlifes go and surround yourself with people that are positive, trustworthy and respectful.