Is talking to a lot of the opposite sex essiential to fully get over your ex?

[Matt145]

Its been nearly 3 months now since me and my ex split up from a 2 year relationship it was a pretty bad break up it was a lot for someone my age to handle, ive had a lot of false hope and ive been ****ed over a few times most recent was nearly a week ago, i think it has all prolonged my healing and it made it harder for me, but at the same time its helped me get closure and made me realise that i did all i could. But right now i feel ok, even though i know right now she will be going out tonight and kissing this guy who really likes her, or possibly doing even more, the thought of her having sex with somebody else still hurts me but it doesnt kill me inside anymore like it used too.

 

But my question is to all you people who have gotten over a ex before, do you have to talk to other girls on a regular basis, like flirting or as friends or even arranging to meet up or something to fully get over your ex? Because im gunna be honest since we split up i havent spoke to many girls or i dont even think ive flirted with any. Ive kept myself away from them because i honestly feel like i want to be alone right now on top of that i have a personality of keeping myself to myself im a shy person, but i still feel like that now the thought of talking to lots of girls doesnt feel right but i keep trying to force myself to but i dont feel comfortable, my ex has damaged my confidence aswell. Do i need to start talking to new girls now? Or should i wait till i feel like i am ready and i am confident enough?

[beyond]

Talking to PEOPLE helps - but if, as I think you are asking should you rush into dating when you have said you don't feel ready, then no.

[Calico]

I've surrounded myself with female friends, and it does help a lot. But most of my friends are women anyway, so I can't really contrast it with how male friends would work (women friends do pamper us heart-broken guys, though, which is nice!). Light flirting isn't harmful and can make you feel appreciated after your ex completely dismantled you.

 

However, dating someone before you're over your ex is likely to be a recipe for disaster and I'd definitely stay away from it (and I do). Too high of a chance to hurt yourself and someone else.

[Simon Phoenix]

Honestly, I went on one of my best pickup streaks in my career immediately after my most recent breakup. I was so into my ex (and still am) that I'd take an "I don't care" approach with other women at bars and it'd work really well because I was coming off as natural and chill because I really didn't care if I got with anyone or not. It didn't help me get over the ex though at all.

 

I don't think avoiding women or trying to bone everything that moves are good strategies. In fact, you shouldn't think about women positively or negatively. You should work on you and if other women are around when you are, great. If not, oh well. But I don't think avoiding women or going on a hookup spree are good options.

[paperboy48]

I am nine months into a 16 year break-up. I just talked to another girl where there was a bit of spark, for the first time last night. It helped me a little bit last night, I didn't have the **lls to ask her for her number. It has been sixteen years since I asked for a girls number.

 

Anways, like others said don't rush into a relationship to get over your ex. Make sure you like and love yourself, build that confidence back up before you fully get back out there.