oxidious88 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Ok so I wasn't sure where to put this because breaking up hasn't happened yet. So I'm 25, I am with a 20 year old girl. She is fairly mature for her age, I'm suprised actually. We've been together for about a year and a half. We moved in together at about 5 months in. We broke about 2 months after and got back together after about 4 months (I know...a lot of math haha). We are moving to a new house in a couple months that will be a permanent thing for us. So here's the problem. I get emotions for a girl very easily. I am quick to think I have caring feelings for another. So in this time with my girlfriend, We have been together, matured, had a break and matured some more. The thing is though, that now it feels like my mom and dad's relationship in the sense that they are just there. They know they love eachother and all that but there is no romance, no excitement. Usually when I'm dating a girl I REALLY like, I'm excited every time I get to see her and I can feel it in my chest! It's awesome! I don't have that with her. We just know that we are together and that we care for eachother but that's it. I get crushes on other girls a lot, and they will flirt with me and I flirt back, but I also don't pursue it after that. I want to though! The problem here is I don't know how I feel about staying with her. I still feel 18 and want new women all the time. I don't know how to cope with these urges or cope with my relationship. Either way something has to go. I also find myself being really shallow and just wanting a really hot girlfriend. Petite, blond, great smile. My girlfriend is cute, blond, and a bit chubbier. What is wrong with me? I have a girl that treats me so well and does so many things for me like cooking dinner, paying to go out sometimes, cleaning up after me when I didn't ask. So why do I feel so un-attached to her? Is there some kind of solution I can muster up? because I don't want to break her heart a second time especially when she will have nowhere to live unless we move in together. It's a very sensitive situation.
TaraMaiden Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Don't move in together. You're not at the stage where you can 'settle down' with one person. Maybe you never will be. But this is definitely a wrong move. if it's not working for you, it would be a by far crueller thing to string her along. Such is life. it happens - but progressing with this - is just not right - is it?
Balzac Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Dealing just with the immediate practical issues. Is the house a rental contract with both names on it? I'm not understanding why she would be homeless, apt rentals usually take days to complete and move in is nearly immediate. Your description reads as though you are far from being ready to commit. Interesting that she hasn't picked up on this. I'd pull the plug.
Author oxidious88 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 It's my dad buying a house and needing someone to rent the basement, in which we took the offer. I mean she would be homeless as in it's very soon and if I break up with her now, She would be struggling for a place to live and have to live with her parents again (which I wouldn't want for the devil himself!). I'm also afraid of hurting her and having everyone she knows hate me too. I'm a very confused person right now.
Balzac Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Confusion can be cleared up. Honestly, fearing hatred for being honest about your inability to commit is unfounded in reality. If they are that mind of people you can wipe them off your contact list. Your telling of the situation falls short of facts. Perhaps she'd be relocating to her parents because she lacks the financial ability to secure, pay lease payments? Is the situation that you alone are funding the lease payment to your folks?
Author oxidious88 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 We are paying 1000 together and then rent from there on in. No lease. Just cash to my pops. I think her having nowhere to go is part of my inability to say how I feel. Sometimes I wonder why its so hard to tell the truth Ans so easy to tell a lie!
TaraMaiden Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Because the truth is indisputable and final, and lies are meant to soften the blow.... but in fact, the damage is greater for the softer option... it's like being cut with two knives: Truth (really sharp and well maintained) and Lie (blunt, rusty and ruined). The Truth cuts quicker, deeper and stings - but heals far better. The Lie causes no end of continuing problems.....
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