Jackson3491 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 I have a girl that lives with me and sleeps with me also. I think she might not be over her ex that dumped her. She used to go see him and it really bothered me. I told her it bothered me and we should stop sleeping together and ask her to read the website (Baggage Reclaim) about emotionally unavailable men and players. She said she started reading it and it was upseting her so she stopped reading it. Could it be that it upset her because the truth hurts or could it be for another reason.
oaks Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Could it be that it upset her because the truth hurts or could it be for another reason. Yes, it could be. What does she say?
Author Jackson3491 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 She didn't say why it upset her and I am not going to ask. I have made up my mind that she is now in the sex only catagory and I will never give her a relationship. My gut instinct tells me not to invest myself emotionally so I intend to trust it. I have known her for a long time and won't kick her out because I am not a mean person. She will have to leave on her own when she is ready. I am just curious about what reasons she might have as to why it upsets her. I know I used to tell women all the time I couldn't see them after I slept with them and they would just about line up to try to get back with me. So I understand how they want what they can't have. I really is kinda pathetic.
yessy21 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 and you say your not a mean person. but your using her and other women for only sex. if you dont want to come across as a mean person i suggest you let her know your intentions. and also... thats not pathetic... you cant help feeling what the heart wants. you just cant. and hopefully one day you will never know what that feels like.
spiderowl Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Who knows why she was upset, something meant something to her, but it could have been anything. It may not be related to your concerns about her. If you don't want to invest in her emotionally because of this - and I do think you should trust you instinct until you have new information - I think you ought to tell her. I also think you should let her know what you think the situation is. That tension is coming between you so why not bring it out into the open and see what she says? I know that someone swearing they are not interested in their ex means little, but she may not be aware of your worries. Are you afraid of confronting her about this?
Emilia Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 She didn't say why it upset her and I am not going to ask. I have made up my mind that she is now in the sex only catagory and I will never give her a relationship. My gut instinct tells me not to invest myself emotionally so I intend to trust it. I have known her for a long time and won't kick her out because I am not a mean person. She will have to leave on her own when she is ready. I am just curious about what reasons she might have as to why it upsets her. I know I used to tell women all the time I couldn't see them after I slept with them and they would just about line up to try to get back with me. So I understand how they want what they can't have. I really is kinda pathetic. Yes you are. You jump to conclusions rather than ask her a question. You are not any more relationship material than (potentially) she is In sex category rather than have a conversation over a stupid website Seriously?
Author Jackson3491 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 You people don't read very well do you. I did tell her it upset me that she was seeing her ex. I also told her we should stop sleeping together. She is the one that still wants sex and guess what folks? I am a man and I like sex. It is not like I didn't tell her what I thought. It is not my fault if she can't handle it.
CaptJay Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 You people don't read very well do you Uh oh, here comes the hate mail...
Quiet Storm Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 and also... thats not pathetic... you cant help feeling what the heart wants. you just cant. You may not be able to help your feelings, but you can surely have the common sense not to act on them. Continuing to do something that you know is detrimental to yourself IS pathetic, regardless of your feelings. Emotions don't have to rule you.
Author Jackson3491 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 Now that the thread has been sucessfully derailed. Can anyone think of any reasons that would answer my original question. Earlier I meant to say "It really is kinda pathetic" not "I really is kinda pathetic" But I must not have hit my t hard enough.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 If she is not over her ex, and this makes you unhappy - why do you live with her? The way you expressed your relationship: I have a girl that lives with me and sleeps with me also. is a little odd to me. What are YOUR feelings about her, besides disliking her evident attachment to her ex? What is the nature of your relationship?
Oxy Moronovich Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 If she said the website upset her then it's too close to home.
Silly_Girl Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I have a girl that lives with me and sleeps with me also. I think she might not be over her ex that dumped her. She used to go see him and it really bothered me. I told her it bothered me and we should stop sleeping together and ask her to read the website (Baggage Reclaim) about emotionally unavailable men and players. She said she started reading it and it was upseting her so she stopped reading it. Could it be that it upset her because the truth hurts or could it be for another reason. Why are you assuming it's triggering the ex issue? She could have you in mind and be realising you're unavailable and this is going nowhere.
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 You people don't read very well do you. I did tell her it upset me that she was seeing her ex. I also told her we should stop sleeping together. She is the one that still wants sex and guess what folks? I am a man and I like sex. It is not like I didn't tell her what I thought. It is not my fault if she can't handle it. So, you live with her, have sex with her but you two are not a couple, not boyfriend/girlfriend..kind of friends with benefits. If that is the case, she can see her her ex anytime she wants. You're not committed to her? Do you see other women (aka sleep with other women other than her?) at the same time? Wear a condom if sex is going to happen between you two again.
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Now that the thread has been sucessfully derailed. Can anyone think of any reasons that would answer my original question. Earlier I meant to say "It really is kinda pathetic" not "I really is kinda pathetic" But I must not have hit my t hard enough. One missing letter or word can totally change the meaning of a sentence.. OK, well she probably got upset reading the site because it's true. That she isn't over her ex..And, she may really like you too but knows you're not as into her (serious wise).
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