Need to Vent.....

[Journey78]

Seriously considering the possibility that aliens invaded my bedroom and stole my brain whilst I was sleeping because looking back over the past nine months, I have acted like a complete idiot!

 

And the culmination of that idiocy - being broken up with via text. Yep, a text message.

 

We've known each other for about fourteen months....good friends only for the first six months. We've been seeing each other for the past eight months. Get along well, laugh alot, talk heaps, want the same things yadda yadda yadda.

 

Then every now and then he gets what he has called 'cold feet'......he's scared. And he'll have a few days to himself to get his head clear, come back and of course, lil ol' understanding me was oh so forgiving. Happened probably twice, both times at points where other stuff was happening in his life.

 

Ok so things have been good for the past few months and he says he's ready to take the next step....to move in with me. At first I'm a little shocked, but then ok...let's do it. He moved in one day and out the next. What is the go with that?

 

Now I'm getting the I'm scared crap again...so me being extremely frustrated, annoyed and seriously over it...send him a text (since he wouldn't answer the phone) saying that I was over the bulls*&) excuses.

 

So I get a text back saying......"I'm over it, done with it. It's over. Goodbye forever".

 

And I just kind of looked at it. Put the phone down thinking I'd misread it. Surely no-one could be that disrespectful. Picked the phone up again. Yep read it right. Waited half an hour, got another text saying that because I'd texted him saying I was over the excuses that I wasn't giving him the space he needed......

 

Put the phone down again. Picked it up after another half an hour. And text back 'Ok. I'll respect your decision.'

 

Seriously.......I cannot believe I have wasted nine months to have that happen........

 

Now I'm only hoping that once the anger is gone, that I don't get a moment of weakness and try to reconcile!

 

More than likely will get home from work today and find the rest of his stuff gone....great way to start the weekend!

 

Any support/advice gratefully received!!! Sorry this is so long......

[LostGirl11]

Seriously considering the possibility that aliens invaded my bedroom and stole my brain whilst I was sleeping because looking back over the past nine months, I have acted like a complete idiot!

 

And the culmination of that idiocy - being broken up with via text. Yep, a text message.

 

We've known each other for about fourteen months....good friends only for the first six months. We've been seeing each other for the past eight months. Get along well, laugh alot, talk heaps, want the same things yadda yadda yadda.

 

Then every now and then he gets what he has called 'cold feet'......he's scared. And he'll have a few days to himself to get his head clear, come back and of course, lil ol' understanding me was oh so forgiving. Happened probably twice, both times at points where other stuff was happening in his life.

 

Ok so things have been good for the past few months and he says he's ready to take the next step....to move in with me. At first I'm a little shocked, but then ok...let's do it. He moved in one day and out the next. What is the go with that?

 

Now I'm getting the I'm scared crap again...so me being extremely frustrated, annoyed and seriously over it...send him a text (since he wouldn't answer the phone) saying that I was over the bulls*&) excuses.

 

So I get a text back saying......"I'm over it, done with it. It's over. Goodbye forever".

 

And I just kind of looked at it. Put the phone down thinking I'd misread it. Surely no-one could be that disrespectful. Picked the phone up again. Yep read it right. Waited half an hour, got another text saying that because I'd texted him saying I was over the excuses that I wasn't giving him the space he needed......

 

Put the phone down again. Picked it up after another half an hour. And text back 'Ok. I'll respect your decision.'

 

Seriously.......I cannot believe I have wasted nine months to have that happen........

 

Now I'm only hoping that once the anger is gone, that I don't get a moment of weakness and try to reconcile!

 

More than likely will get home from work today and find the rest of his stuff gone....great way to start the weekend!

 

Any support/advice gratefully received!!! Sorry this is so long......

 

Crazy isn't it, how they can be so heartless and nasty. We wouldn't dream of treating them like that, that's why it hurts so much. I simply asked to talk things over and I got a text back saying 'get f**ked, bye'

I done the same as you, I put down my phone in a rather odd but calm way, lol. But now I'm livid, livid that I let him speak to me like that and livid with myself for wanting him back, and above all livid that I wasted time on someone like that.

[suladas]

It could be worse. Mine just went cold the last time I seen her, then ignored me for 3 days and when I finally asked what was going on I got told it was over, I was really sure it was over, but someone just ignoring you is pretty bad. I agree though, a text is pretty bad.

 

I don't know, i'm a tiny bit bitter about it, but I think in my case anyways she was looking out for herself first and not doing anything to hurt me on purpose, even though it can seem that way. Or maybe i'm just way too nice.

[Journey78]

Crazy isn't it, how they can be so heartless and nasty. We wouldn't dream of treating them like that, that's why it hurts so much. I simply asked to talk things over and I got a text back saying 'get f**ked, bye'

I done the same as you, I put down my phone in a rather odd but calm way, lol. But now I'm livid, livid that I let him speak to me like that and livid with myself for wanting him back, and above all livid that I wasted time on someone like that.

 

 

I wouldn't dream of treating anyone like that! It's in my opinion, a gutless, heartless way to to end something.......more importantly they would know it's a hurtful way to end henceforth he's done it in that way because he knew that above anything else, that would hurt me more.

 

What's sad is that he does not 'owe' me anything, nor do I owe him anything.....I can live without an explanation why he's chosen to do this.....but I just cannot work out how I could be so wrong about someone......obviously had the blinkers on there!

 

Anger has passed and now I'm just kind of in a mode of disbelief. His stuff is still here....which makes it even harder, looking at it.

[not-a-drive-by]

Anger has passed and now I'm just kind of in a mode of disbelief. His stuff is still here....which makes it even harder, looking at it.

 

Pack it all away in a box and put it in another room or cupboard where you won't stare at it. I felt much better after I rearranged my room and put all plush toys and photos away.

[Journey78]

It could be worse. Mine just went cold the last time I seen her, then ignored me for 3 days and when I finally asked what was going on I got told it was over, I was really sure it was over, but someone just ignoring you is pretty bad. I agree though, a text is pretty bad.

 

I don't know, i'm a tiny bit bitter about it, but I think in my case anyways she was looking out for herself first and not doing anything to hurt me on purpose, even though it can seem that way. Or maybe i'm just way too nice.

 

Definitely completely ignoring your existence is wrong as well. And it's good that you try to see things from her point of view to understand it better....otherwise all we have is anger and a sense of injustice which doesn't help the healing process at all.

 

I don't think you're being too nice by trying to understand why she ignored you - I think that just makes you a rational, empathetic human being.

[Journey78]

Pack it all away in a box and put it in another room or cupboard where you won't stare at it. I felt much better after I rearranged my room and put all plush toys and photos away.

 

That's on my agenda for today and re-arranging my bedroom and living space because even though he only moved in for a few days (well one night) prior to that he was here all the time and helped me to set my bedroom up etc. So I guess changing it all to make it 'me' again and not us.

 

Thanks for the advice.

[LostGirl11]

I wouldn't dream of treating anyone like that! It's in my opinion, a gutless, heartless way to to end something.......more importantly they would know it's a hurtful way to end henceforth he's done it in that way because he knew that above anything else, that would hurt me more.

 

What's sad is that he does not 'owe' me anything, nor do I owe him anything.....I can live without an explanation why he's chosen to do this.....but I just cannot work out how I could be so wrong about someone......obviously had the blinkers on there!

 

Anger has passed and now I'm just kind of in a mode of disbelief. His stuff is still here....which makes it even harder, looking at it.

 

I know how you feel. Guess what, him doing what he did is the real him, he wanted to hurt you. When I feel like I want to contact my ex I just remind myself of that text! Box his stuff up and put it in another room. If you don't have the room just box it up into a corner and throw a sheet over it.

[Journey78]

I know how you feel. Guess what, him doing what he did is the real him, he wanted to hurt you. When I feel like I want to contact my ex I just remind myself of that text! Box his stuff up and put it in another room. If you don't have the room just box it up into a corner and throw a sheet over it.

 

Yes, he did want to hurt me - why I don't know maybe because I'd been so understanding and supportive before but this time I'd had enough. Him doing this over the past nine months has meant that my life can't move forward as well. So I've been in a kind of holding pattern or limbo.

 

I have deleted his number, messages etc and short of showing up at his place which no way am I doing that, I have no way to contact him. And I'm glad I did that - because I would have tried to contact him, to vent at him, to show him how sad it's made me but I do not want him to see what this has done to me.

 

I'm a strong girl, my life will go on and I will be happy. But after that text and complete disregard for my feelings - he's waived any right to be a part of my life.