gf not in love due to distance but distance would be over in 1 week! killing my world

[karam]

I had been with a girl for 6 months, the problem is that for those 6 months i have been studying in another country, however we had known each other for a long time before and when we got together we both thought that this was it, this relatonship will not be messed up because it was me and her, not poeple that make mistakes.

 

the last 3 weeks she had been growing distant, not calling replying etc. When I pressed her to know why she said that the distance is destroying her. I said that I understand but it is only 2-3 weeks more and then I am back for good, to be with her. Then she told me that she feels that she can do it and that she will wait for me.

 

Then three days ago she said that she is not in love with me anymore, that the distance destroyed her and that she cann't be with me because she doesn't want to lie to me. I asked her just to give me a chance to come home and to give our relationship a chance by thinking about me when I am back, not to let it die into the night. She said that she cann't do that, that there is no chance, that it's futile and I will only get more hurt and she doesn't want that for me. I said OK, at least whatever happens I will need you by my side to ease the pain. she didn't understand that, she said that it will hurt me more by that. I said that everyone is unique and that if I feel that this is good for my pain now she should respect me.

 

I feel terribly mistreated. In the many times that she was depressed (and unfortunately she gets that way easily) I ALWAYS helped her and was by her side, as much as the distance allowed it. She thanked me one million times for being there for her and promised and promised that she will do the same if i need her, no mater what happens. Where is she now??? Nowhever and I am dying in pain here all alone, being abroad means that all of my friends are away as well...

How can she not help me, do what I ask her to do and stand by me in my pain. She is so stubborn, held in her own decisions about what will be good for me that she doesn't even listen to me. Nobody can decide about someone else's life, now I need her, I am going home in 2 days and I need to see her and talk.

 

I need her to give me a chance, look inside herself for me, think if now that the distance is over she can love me again, try to help me as I had so many times before.

 

I am so sad it is unbearable, I don't deserve this, I never made her sad and if I did I always would help her..

thanks for reading, I know how you could have felt in the past, we are all human after all....

[StartingAgain]

I had been with a girl for 6 months, the problem is that for those 6 months

 

Actually, you weren't with her at all. You've been in another country for 6 months, not with her. And that was your mistake. You should not have started a relationship when you knew that you were going to be gone for so long at the very outset. The bond broke.

 

She says she is finished and you must honor that. You keep talking about what she needs to do for you. Oh no. You need to take care of yourself. You were there for her when she needed you and she promised to reciprocate. Yet she couldn't do that. She's a taker. She couldn't be faithful (I don't mean she cheated) to you for a mere six month separation. So you have to ask yourself if this is the sort of woman you want to commit yourself to.

 

Just wait until you are back in the country to see what you find. Really, the two of you didn't have any basis for developing a relationship because of your absence. I suspect you are going to find that she has met someone else, which is why she suddenly withdrew from you. This is very common, as soldiers have know for years.

[karam]

I turned earth around to try and spend extra time from my work to come back to see her and she was great every time, last time I saw her was 6 weeks ago and we had a wonderfull time, full of love, in each other's arms.

Now she just turned cold 3 weeks ago, she started by saying she had problems, some of which i know of from other friends such as university and family, I asked if this is what is causing her to drift and she said maybe, then she said no, it is independent.

I feel mistreated because I lose the war without ever fighting a fair battle, she is taking decisions and setting them in stone without even waiting to see what it would be like. 3 weeks ago she said that she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship with me before i come back and we see how actually living in the same city and spending everyday life together is for us. I said OK, I don't like that but I can respect it. Now she decided she is not in love anymore. Where did the love go? How could it fizzle in 20 days when it seamed that unbreakable before?

She always used to say that I am one the most important person in her life, from before we dated. How is she going to throw me out without ever knowing how it could have been? She has to think somethings and evaluate, I am saying this because I know and everybody knows how happy we both were to be together.

She is killing me and destroying everything good that ever was between us. Can she not value that?

It is some time we shared, both of us, we both have pieces of our hearts in certain places and times, how can she burn them like that. And why doesn't she consider my immense pain and love for her? She is breaking her own promises, does she not understand that this drops her value and credibility as a person?

We where so happy together, I know I can be happy with her again, all she has to do is to listen to me carefully and at least try to help me.