3 years and now I'm lost for words

[Bmhansen]

So Ive been in a relationship for 3 years, and we have been living together for almost a year, she has a 5 year old daughter, and I've pretty much tookin her in as my Owen.. So this is my story.

 

At the first of our realationship we got along with her parents really well and no problems.. But then her paparents started to try to control everything we did, everything in our realationship. And things started going down hill.. Me and her got in fights and it got to the point where she couldent even be around them her or he daughter.. So they wer allway at my house with my parents.. And my parents started watching her daughter every day while we were at work, well my mom mostly did.. Took her to school and watched her till we got home. Then one day we all got in a fight about something stupid and my girlfriend came to me and said I can't live there anymore.. So we moved out in an apartmeant.. And when we moved out her parents hated me.. Said hurtful things like we don't like him or where he comes from, said I wasn't welcome over there.. But anyways so me and my girlfriend didn't talk nor see them In over 6 months.. We lived our life and it was great.. Our relationship was awesome.. We got so close.. Her daughter started calling me dad.. Things got real..

Then after about 6 months I could see she was missing them, despite what they did.. And her mom started talking to her and this and that, and finally I let go and started going around them and stuff so 2 weeks went buy but I could still feel the hate they had for me..

So about a month ago my girlfriens best friend was getting married and I ended up getting very sick that weekend.. But I told her I'd still go.. And she said okay.. The morning of the wedding she went shopping for a dress for the wedding and told me to be ready by 1:30 so I did.. 1:30 comes rolling around And she calls me saying I know you don't feel good so I invited my mom so you can get rest.. Well I was kinda upset cause I got all dresses up for the wedding.. So I said well I can go I'm all ready.. And she just said no.. My moms going.. So I said whatever.. So the day goes by.. No texts or calls from her and then she shows up at our apartment with her mom in our living room. I was passed out cause it was 11 at night.. And she says wake up we gotta talk.. So I wake up and she says I'm packing our stuff up and leaving tomorrow.. So as confused as I was I say what why? Cause two nights before this happend me and her sat down and talked about our relaxationship and how it's time to move on and start a life together and get married, those were the words out of her mouth.. And we talked about how awesome everything was, so I was confused when this happend and all she would tell me as in why is that she wasn't happy and she wants to go back to school and she can't while living with me so she was moving back home with her crazy parents..

So this happend a month ago.. And I'm still pretty lost as in why.. I tried calling her twice and still the same she wasn't happy and wants go go back to school..

It was almost so easy to leave me after 3 years,.. I don't get it?

She changed her number and everything.. I'm lost and hurt, and very angry.. I just lost the TWO loves of my life.. And I don't know what my next move is.. I'm down and out right now I got surgery/ I had to get a hernia fixed.. And all I do is think about this all.. We wernt fighting or nothing.. And she just leaves..

Any advise on what I should do? I'm pretty sure we won't be getting back together cause I saw her with her ex at the gas station yesterday and it's her ex the little girls dad.. I'm so pissed... I dunno what to do..

[TigerCub]

I'm sorry that you're hurting.

 

I think when a relationship ends and you don't have the answers and it seems like its out of the blue its hard to get past that at first because there is no real closure. So I understand your pain and confusion.

 

Its easy to justify things in your mind that her parents are *******s and maybe they are poisoning her mind against you and all that - maybe there is truth to it, but she's an adult and for whatever reason she wanted out of the relationship.

 

Do I think she handled it in a very cowardly and passive aggressive bull**** way? Sure I do, but that alone should give you insight on the kind of person she is.

 

 

I do have a question: You said that she wants to go to school but that she said she can't go to school if she's living with you? Why is that? Why can't she go to school?

 

I do think that getting an education and a useful degree/diploma is one of the most important things, especially if one has kids to provide for, so I'm with her on going to school, but I don't understand why she couldn't go if she was with you?

 

As for what to do with her, you need to try your best to focus on other things right now. Are you in school? If so, focus on that, or focus on your work, and leave her be, because if you call and chase after her, it wont bring her back. You shouldn't have to chase after someone to convince them to be with you.

 

You need to move on and better yourself and focus on other things.

 

I know that its all easier said than done, but the way she treated you wasn't so nice (at least how she ended it), so maybe you are better off without her.

[Bmhansen]

She said she can't go to school cause all her money is going to living out on her Owen with me.. Witch makes no sence cause I payed for everything to support them..

I feel bad for her cause she had to go back to that controlling invierment..

I just don't get why she could leave so easy.. If she didn't love me anymore then there's no way that happens overnight ya know?

I'm trying to move on its just such a different life without them in my life cause they have been in my life for 3 years.. I did everything for them, I put them before I put myself like a man should do for his family.. I guess that's where I'm struggling the most