KenAdams Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I know it seems like a weird question but please bare with me. I'm a male and I started dating my girlfriend 7 months ago. Prior to those 7 months we met 4 months before and became best friends. She was a sophomore in college and I was a freshman. Things were going awesome. I was the happiest I've ever been. We had sex all the time, and I'd it wasn't sex then it was oral sex and messing around. I used to stay at her dorm almost every night and we cuddled and it was just plain amazing. It trully was. I totally fell for this girl. When the year was over she made the decision to move to another college an hour away. I was pretty sad but I comforted her since she was afraid we'd break up because of the long distance relationship. So she moved and we didn't spend every day together like we had before. We see each other 1 or 2 times every two weeks. Right now it's been about 5 months since we have done anything sexual. 5 months. I'm a guy in college and this is killing me. I see all these pretty girls all over campus and I get tempted to hit on them but don't since I love my girlfriend. I went from messing around evey day to not doing anything for 5 months. I want sex and I absolutely need cuddling time. Whenever we hang out we're never alone. She doesn't come visit me at my college since she goes to school, works, and lives at home. So It's always me going to her and we hardly ever spend quality time together since her family is always around. When she moved I thought it would be a mutual thing where we both were going to go see the other and it hasnt been like that at all. I miss her so much since she doesn't live here on campus but I guess that's a good thing since my grades are better than last year. My best friend lives here on campus and his gf from 1.5 hrs away comes and sees him every week and i envy that. I really don't ever see us having that alone time we used to have ever again. I don't know what to do. I miss her. I miss sex. I miss cuddling and all that. And it doesnt help that she isnt romantic and isnt affectionate either. Don't get me wrong im not all about sex, but I think its a necessity in a relationship. I dont know what to do. So how can I move away from having sex and cuddling and alone time since it looks like we wont have that for a long time.
carhill Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 She doesn't visit you and isn't romantic or affectionate? Move on, date local ladies and have sex if that is your goal. IMO, this one's a dry hole. No sense in sending more drill rod down it. If you haven't done it before, make this your first proactive breakup. While painful, it's actually very instructive and beneficial. Welcome to LS 1
MonsterMash Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Sounds like its time to move on. Absence should make the heart grow fonder ...but it doesn't seem so in her case. Theres no reason for her, if shes that into you, to not make time for you two to be together sexually. A wise man once said we make time for whats important to us. And its glaringly obvious that for whatever reason, you're not that important to her anymore. Sorry bro. You live and learn.
justwhoiam Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I want sex and I absolutely need cuddling time. So what did you do about that? I mean, seriously, besides whining, what did you do? Can't you get a room in some cheap motel? Or take her to the movies or elsewhere where you can have some alone time. I think you're wasting your time. we hardly ever spend quality time together since her family is always around. Did you talk to her about this? My best friend lives here on campus and his gf from 1.5 hrs away comes and sees him every week and i envy that. Well, maybe you can try to do something that your friend will envy you for. Who knows. Stop looking at what others do and focus on what **YOU** should do. she isnt romantic and isnt affectionate either. Are you? How? What did you do? I dont know what to do. I noticed. how can I move away from having sex and cuddling and alone time since it looks like we wont have that for a long time. Please reread this last sentence you wrote. I hope you realize that instead of looking for a solution, you are trying to forget about the alone time and sex. Ask yourself why. And start wondering if growing apart will do any good to your relationship.
LittleTiger Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Welcome to LS KenAdams. To answer the title in your thread - you can't. If you are one of those people who struggles to go without sex for long periods, that isn't going to change. You have to learn to live with it - or decide that a LDR just isn't for you. Regarding your relationship, I'm sorry to say that it isn't going to work - it already isn't working. Most people in a LDR struggle with the lack of physical connection and sex BUT we make up for it when we are together - big time! Some of us have skype sex or phone sex when we're apart which goes some way to scratching the itch and maintaining a level of sexual intimacy. If your girlfriend is not making time for the two of you to be alone together when you are physically in the same place, that's a very bad sign. No doubt that isn't what you want to hear, but it is the reality. 2
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