pandagirl Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 This post isn't about me, but my good friend. I'll try to sum it up quickly! Basically, she got out of a 10 year comfortable, but pretty much lifeless, non-sexual relationship. The breakup happened about eight months ago. Her ex was a great person, but ultimately, there was no passion or romantic love (they hadn't had sex in three years). She went through some wild crazy girl times, experimented, didn't all the cliche post-long-relationship stuff. She's now been dating someone for three weeks. She says they are passionately in love. He is the EXACT opposite of her ex: intense, unpredictable, exciting, etc. He proclaims her love for her at every moment, and she loves it. Now, I am all for happy friends being in love, but I feel there are a lot of red flags. I have not met this guy, but I will eventually. The word that I hear people describe him as is "intense." I don't mess in other people's relationships, but I am a little concerned. Can relationships that start off so intense have happy endings?
Imajerk17 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 (edited) How did she and he meet? What else about this guy--financially independent, no criminal record, ect... I don't think you really know someone's character after only 3 weeks. But in some cases when it clicks it clicks. A close female friend's current relationship (7 months and counting) to a great guy started with a first date that basically never really ended. Read johan's thread too. Edited September 20, 2012 by Imajerk17
tigressA Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 If it's meant to be, it will be. If it is not, it will not. All will be revealed in time. Just be supportive. I see no reason to be concerned unless there are signs of control/disrespect/abuse.
Author pandagirl Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 There are a couple things I've heard that seem like red flags to me, but I'll just trust that she's got a handle on things... (even though past behavior as not pointed to this!).
veggirl Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Hell yeah that's too much too soon. She is just rebounding, this won't last.
Author pandagirl Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 It's not that she met someone that is crazy about her that bothers me. It's more that he says over-the-top things to her that are quite dramatic.
Imajerk17 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 (edited) Well pandagirl, you are actually being very vague in describing the situation. No mention of relevant details such as --how they met --describe this guy in more detail --what "over-the-top things" he said besides "I love you" so soon (which is a red flag I'll admit). It's tough for people to give you good answers--beyond their own projections that is. Some healthy relationships just start off really fast. You haven't yet given any solid evidence that this isn't one of them. Did you really want insight or did you just come to vent? Edited September 20, 2012 by Imajerk17
Author pandagirl Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 Met 10 years ago in college, but never were friends or in contact since then. Says things like, "you are perfect," "why aren't you married yet," talks about their children. He has a history of getting into fights. Non-stop energy, barely sleeps, always doing something, also a stoner.
Imajerk17 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Met 10 years ago in college, but never were friends or in contact since then. Says things like, "you are perfect," "why aren't you married yet," talks about their children. He has a history of getting into fights. Non-stop energy, barely sleeps, always doing something, also a stoner. How did they reconnect? The last two lines are red flags.
Author pandagirl Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 How did they reconnect? The last two lines are red flags. Via facebook. I'm just a little worried about his aggression...
CaptJay Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 (edited) Met 10 years ago in college, but never were friends or in contact since then. Says things like, "you are perfect," "why aren't you married yet," talks about their children. He has a history of getting into fights. Non-stop energy, barely sleeps, always doing something, also a stoner. When a guy who is a stoner is this intense, doesn't sleep, and has nonstop energy, they are typically hooked on amphetamines. One to bring you "up" and the other to "turn it off." One strong indicator of this is if this guy never eats despite all of his energy and "stonage"... cj Edited September 20, 2012 by CaptJay
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