eMGunslinger Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 She and I have been dating 9 months broke up once due to stress in her life and got back together. All in all we have a very health relationship no fighting or anything....except she seems to have one demon! Every so often every let's say 1-2 months she will either get stressed or something internal will go on and I won't hear from her for a max of 3 days. I'm very calm I write it off normally and wait for her to initiate contact again. I've stuck with it this long anyone have any advice? We normally call each other later on at night around 10.. Example of last night and it and possibly she went to bed early so I'm not aggravated yet 8:30 she txts About not going to do somethings 8:40 I txt back saying ok that's fine we can blah blah instead 9:50 I txt saying shower and finishing paper call in a bit 10:30 I call 11:00 I txt ok guess your asleep I'll talk to you tomorrow 11:30 I call again just incase and nothin so i just let it go
ChatroomHero Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 My ex was like that and didn't change. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, figured she was stressed....the one thing I noticed is was when she ignored me she with excuses like stress or too busy, etc., I would find out she went out with friends and then tell me she was busy but as she left work her friend called and was having problems so went out with her but didn't want to, bla, bla, bla. I also noticed after a while during times she was supposedly too busy or stressed she would post to friends on FB and whenever I was around and we were doing something she found time to text her friends non-stop and never seemed to ignore them. What's worse is if I was at work and in a meeting and she texted me, I always got the wtf text when I didn't answer her in 10 minutes. I'd say if your situation is similar you basically are not respected enough for her to consider you important enough to not ignore for a while. I always figured when I was stressed or busy I would turn to my SO for support, not pretend like they don't exist. My ex used to tell me she internalized things and hid when she was stressed but I found that she chose to hide from me and throw excuses but seemingly didn't hide from her friends or other people.
veggirl Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Disappearing for 3 days every month or so would be a dealbreaker for me. That is way too often!! She needs to learn coping mechanisms. What's she getting so stressed about?
Author eMGunslinger Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 Her and her father got into it about her not going to his wedding because she doesn't support his decisions. In this case I cannot blame her. I finally messaged her asking if everything was ok she responded pleasantly but she is still edgy Chatroomhero...normally I would think this as well but she is always extremely honest and probably the most trusting person I know. If I ask she tells, doesn't have Facebook works a lot and goes home and studies for school. Over time I've taken steps to check and see what her real intent was during these times. Always the same stays at home does her own thing cools down. Comes right back around. Do I see it as a respect thing yes somewhat but without making excuses she is a very intra person and doesn't turn to others with problems (horrible life/childhood from my perspective is likely the reason and fears relying on people) It's something ultimately I battle but relationships aren't a bed of roses and the good far outways her only bad IMHO
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