LAX4 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Okay so my ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago, called me back the next day crying and said she wanted me back. Then said i pissed her off because i was doing so many things that made her mad and i just said im sorry and we talked about it and she got over it. She said she didnt want to break up because thats not what she wanted. 2 days later she broke up with me again. the day before that she was telling me messages like i miss you<3, but then weird ones like do you like dating? and i hate relationships but you mean so much to me that im glad we've been dating for 6 months. the next day at school(both in highschool) she acted fine from the start kissed me and everything was golden, then at lunch she was acting different like she did when she broke up with me the first time and i asked her what was wrong and she said i dont know, then i said do you wanna date? and she said i dont know.. her answer is i dont know for a lot of things. We decided to talk after school. We were holding hands and walking and i asked her did you make up your mind? and she said i decided this morning i wanted to break up. I was pissed and i walked away but she followed me. I said she played me again and i was mad but wanted to talk about her decision. she said i didnt play you i wanted to kiss you and i meant those messages i sent to you. but that a relationship is to much worry, to be committed isnt what she wants. Well i said why? we dont fight at all and i treat her like a princess. ive been told that i need to be a little meaner? if you will because she doesnt do much for me and i do alot for her. She said its nothing i did and i treated her like an absolute gentlemen should but i said it all sounds like an excuse. but after breaking up i realized ive put soo much into our relationship and i really dont want it to end. So i tried to get her back with the NC rule and ignored her at school and we maybe texted 2 in two weeks and one time i was helping her out with somethings. Homecoming is in two weeks and everyone wants us to go together and i mean everyone. So i texted her and said we need to talk about it. and she said she doesnt think we should since i dont want to go with her. I said its not that i dont want to but i just miss her and isnt it obvious why i dont want to go? she said no tell me and i said im not over her and i want to get back together and she said i dont want a relationship.and shes pissed that i ignored her for a week completely because thats her biggest pet peeve and the dumbest thing i could have done. I still want her back though and shes not seeing any guys but she is a huge flirt. How do i get someone back who doesnt want a relationship
TopCat22 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 You don't want to hear this but the simple answer is you don't! She's said quite clearly a number of times she doesn't want a relationship. You need to accept that. You need to leave her be (proper No Conact) and maybe, just maybe, she will change her mind. Given her age though, I somehow doubt it. All you are doing is dragging this out. It takes two people to get back together. If she doesn't want to then it won't happen. Constantly bugging her about it won't help. She needs to come to the decision herself. Leave her alone with her thoughts and her feelings and let her figure out what she really wants.
Author LAX4 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 yeah ill give her space, umm i can easily bring better looking girls into the equation, or will that just piss her off?
TopCat22 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 If you want to date other girls then go ahead, but do it because you want to, not to make her jealous. That's a dangerous game to play and WILL backfire. If you find another nice girl you'd like to take out and then do. I'm sure your ex will notice, but don't look at it as a game to play. If she comes back out of jealousy do you really think it will last? Going NC with someone you want back is the hardest thing in the world but it's the only way for you to try and move on. Make it a challenge. I'm on day 21 and am determined to get to 30. Even when I get there I'm starting to feel very differently about the RS and not even sure I do want her back now...
riverratt Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 NC is the best. It is hard for some of us because we have children. Do your best to avoid it.
Author LAX4 Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 Okay so now she's being a b**** doing stuff to piss me off because I'm ignoring her. There's this girl a lot better looking then ex and wants to grow closer, but my ex barely knows about her... I feel like when she finds out it will piss her off and she's going to continue to be a b****
TopCat22 Posted September 24, 2012 Posted September 24, 2012 If she's mad at you that shows she still has feelings and cares. If she didn't she couldn't care about pissing you off. You need to be indifferent to her. Be polite if she calls but don't get into a conversation. Show her she doesn't control your feelings. You need to let her arrive at the conclusion that she wants to be in a RS with you. If she has you at her beck and call the whole time she has no reason to make that decision.
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