O'Malley Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I was raised in a home with my grandparents (my parents supported and cared for them), so I'd take circumstances into account. Costs of living are rising and wages aren't keeping up. There's an obvious difference between someone who could support themselves but chooses to enjoy a parasitic lifestyle off of their families backs, and someone who is a caretaker, in school or is in some other transitional phase of life - transitional meaning that they do value independence and are working towards attaining it. I'd be cautious about someone in their thirties or older who has never attempted some measure of independence, whether that's living or traveling on their own, but some cultures have multiple generations residing together and it turns out fine. Some people go from one cohabitative/marital situation to another, without living independently for any significant period of time; that would bother me as much. 1
suladas Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 It would depend on the situation but i'm not a huge fan of it, even though i'm 23 and it's quite common at my age. The biggest thing for me is that they have plans to move out and not be at home forever. To be honest, i'm not even a fan of a girl who's still in school. Neither of them are deal breakers, but I think the maturity level changes when you go out on your own.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Which is a good reason for why the courts shouldn't have given her the children. It would be a better choice to give them to a person working full time with a mortgage and lots of bills, and the kids in day care? 1
ThaWholigan Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I don't know. I find men don't mind dating a woman who still lives at home. Women on the other hand ......... I still live at home myself. Admittedly, I don't feel comfortable dating seriously while I am at home.
Oxy Moronovich Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Who the hell would date a 40-yr old divorced, single mom who lives with her parents and has no ambition to move out? Any guy who would do that must really be desperate.
El Brujo Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Would it ever occur to you people that a lot of us can't AFFORD a house of our own, and maybe we don't want to live in apartment? And then there are those of us who moved back in with our parents because our Mom or Dad was sick or dying and they couldn't get around anymore. That's what happened to me. So, no... I wouldn't mind a bit if a woman had a really disagreeable family and she didn't want to live in their house one more minute... but I wouldn't want her to move out if she was caring for a sick parent. I admit I'm pretty selfish, but I'm not THAT selfish. But here's the catch... she has to be kidless, and she has to have a serious case of the hots for me.
LittlePrince Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 It would be a better choice to give them to a person working full time with a mortgage and lots of bills, and the kids in day care? It would be better for them to be with a responsible parent who can actually afford to raise them.
madjac74 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Okay, let's give this person the BENEFIT of the doubt, because I know of OTHER women like this. 1. Was a stay at home mom/housewife when she was married 2. #1 was ALL she was doing, the only profession she was ....a Stay at home mom. 3. SAHM get's divorced 4. She has no place to go, because hubby was paying the mortgage on the home they were living in. 5. SAHM has no choice but to move back in with the parents, and take her kids with the parents. 6. During this time, she needs to go back to school and get a real job. 7. For a 40-something woman, starting over in this fashion can be challenging. I mean, if all you knew in your entire life was just being a good mom and wife...what else is there? It's really just starting over. Isn't she getting alimony and child support? How did she not get at least half of the house? I know he payed the mortgage but that means nothing in America. She is the woman! She took care of the house and kids and is entitled to something.
Emilia Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Would it ever occur to you people that a lot of us can't AFFORD a house of our own, and maybe we don't want to live in apartment? Yes and this is the attitude I have issue with. If you feel you are ENTITLED to live in a house then build a career that allows you to buy one. Living with mommy and daddy because you don't want an apartment is just weak. And then there are those of us who moved back in with our parents because our Mom or Dad was sick or dying and they couldn't get around anymore. That's what happened to me. Caregiving is definitely a valid reason and many have to face it. The thought of having sex with someone in their parents' house (thanks oaks for that thought) while their mother is dying downstairs (just to take it a step further) is grim. No other word for it. Would we have to wait until the parent dies before we can live together?
oaks Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Isn't she getting alimony and child support? How did she not get at least half of the house? I know he payed the mortgage but that means nothing in America. She is the woman! She took care of the house and kids and is entitled to something. She got the kids.
oaks Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Caregiving is definitely a valid reason and many have to face it. The thought of having sex with someone in their parents' house (thanks oaks for that thought) while their mother is dying downstairs (just to take it a step further) is grim. No other word for it. Glad to be of service. Would we have to wait until the parent dies before we can live together? Ooh. Interesting point!
Author irc333 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 I'd be cautious about someone in their thirties or older who has never attempted some measure of independence. I recall a couple of women I had met, who thought they were SOOO wonderful because they moved out when they were 17 years old (Yes, not 18, but 17) Some moved out when they turned 18, but apparently the ones that moved out at 17 graduated HS early or something, so it was only a matter of months before they would turn 18. They probably moved in with a cousin or something. I jokingly said, "Oh, so you were a run-a-way"? Then they give this song and dance on how they struggled as such...while the rest of their friends were still their parents and going to college at 21. Anyhow, I mentioned to them, upon comparison, "Well, I joined the military when I was 18" And she had the audacity to say, "Well, that doesn't count, you had everything paid for, rent, utilities, etc" I get a kick out of how people think they've had it so much harder than YOU did.
Author irc333 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 Who the hell would date a 40-yr old divorced, single mom who lives with her parents and has no ambition to move out? Any guy who would do that must really be desperate. Yeah, that was the kicker, she wasn't saying ANYTHING like, "Yeah, I'm just there until I save up some money, go to college, and get my own job." It actually sounded like she INVESTED in a home (perhaps co-signed) with her parents. Surprised though she's athletic, and has a nice figure though...figured she'd be so sedentary, at least she's staying in shape...so she has SOME ambition. lol....just no plans to leave the house. Apparently having in live-in babysitters were such a great thing for her. I knew she was there for the long haul.
oaks Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Remembering that she's only recently divorced, it occurs to me to wonder what she's actually looking for. Perhaps she's only looking for "short term dating" or similar.
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