yuppup Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Hello everyone. I'm new here and I guess I just need an outlet to vent and hopefully get some positive pats on the back. My childhood dog passed and my GF of 3 years dumped me the next day. It wasn't a surprise that our relationship was going sour. We've actually been pretty bad for awhile now. There's never a good time to end it, but I assume it's definitely not when the dumpee just lost their dog. I wasn't even being clingy or putting my sorrow of the death on her when the breakup happened. Any words of encouragement? It's been 2 weeks and I've been through so many emotions, it's sick. I pretty much took off of school and life last week so I could mourn the loss of my beloved pup. What I wouldn't give to have gotten a hug from my GF when I lost my dog...
Berna Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I have a dog and I can only imagine the pain you are going through. It's never fair and the timing is never right. All I can say is - hold on. One day it does get better, and when you are ready, you will be able to give your heart to another puppy and another person.
Author yuppup Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 Thank you. NC starts now, and this weekend I'll have a dear friend be the messenger in exchanging keys and belongings. I stupidly sent a few very anger-filled emails to her with no response or concern with what I'm going through. I just feel like a fool. I'm 25, a lesbian in a very small city, and I've put so much effort into this relationship that my friendships have been neglected. I feel like I'll never find another woman I really click with here. Time to pick up the phone and reconnecting with those that matter. I could just scream.
Berna Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Try to stay positive. True friends never leave you, and they will understand you. Think positive thoughts about the future - no one knows what the future brings. Maybe you will leave the town, maybe someone new will come to yours.. It's too early now to feel and think this way but change is a part of life..
Author yuppup Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 That's true. I have to focus on the present. Blah. Thank you for your support. I really do appreciate it.
milana Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 My break up story just as sad. Last month i ended up in the hospital for a spinal surgery. Spent 5 days in the ICU, 8 days total in the hospital. The day i was discharged my boyfriend of 3 years called to tell me the amazing news; he no longer loved me and he realized i wasnt right for him. I was so shocked and hurt that i told him not to contact me again. The next 3 weeks were hell, because of the recent surgery i was very weak and couldnt be on my feet for more than 10 minutes at a time, i couldnt go out with friends and couldnt distract myself in any way. Can you imagine trying to get over a break up if all you can do all day is lay in bed and think about it? My advice to you would be to stay positive. You have to realize that a person who truly cares and loves you would never leave you at a time when you needed the love and support. You deserve someone who would have stayed and helped. you should also try and get back out there and do the things that make you happy.
WaitingForDunno Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Absolutely know how you feel, except you had worse luck, partner and I broke up then the multiple personal s***s hit the fan, culminating in my dog dying last week. All I can say is, this is what friends were invented for, let them help you get through this, pick up the phone, apologise for your absence and they will understand, believe me I've had that conversation, just make sure you learn from it and don't let your friends drift too far again. On the positive, she's given you all the fuel you need to rage-burn her out of your system. Attach all the pain and anger you feel right now to her in your mind, take two days to loathe her and call her every name under the sun, then start laughing at her, how stupid she is and how she has seriously missed out and you are much better off. Good luck and I'm so sorry about your pup, be strong... 1
lalalandman Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Like you said, it's never a good time. Rest assured, she didn't dump you to mark the occassion. I don't know her but I can vouch for (most) of the human race. 1
Author yuppup Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 Milana, did your recovery go well? I am so sorry to hear your story. I wish I could give you a hug. Thank you for your kind words. I can be very reclusive, but I'm definitely trying to get back out there. I just volunteered with the local Film Fest that will be going on in a month. Not normally something I would do, but something I'm definitely interested in. I'm also pouring myself into working out. Nights are the worst though. Keep moving forward, my dear. I wish you the best.
milana Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 yuppup its going well thank you. im back on my feet and back to classes in a strange way im glad he left me when he did, it made me realize that i am a much stronger person and can handle much more than i thought i could. You can probably relate seeing as you were also left at the worst possible time! I think we should thank our exes for making us stronger people, probably stronger than they are Working out is definately a good choice, ive always used exercise to take my mind off problems and stress!! Pour all your anger and sadness into something productive. As for those lonely nights, i dont think they can be avoided unless you are out with friends. You just have to tough it out and distract yourself with whatever it is you like to do. I hope you are doing well too, all the best! 1
LostOne1 Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Man I feel for you. My ex left me about 1.5 months after my grandmother passed away. So tough, because I was very sick too. And for her it wasn't a valid excuse to not leave me. She expected more out of me at a time, I was just confused with life. Lost my grandmother, my health, and my 3 yr relationship in basically 2 months. My life just shattered, and I have 2 cats an older one too. I haven't lost a pet, but I feel what you feel man. You lost 2 important people that meant something to you, and your mourning 2 losses at once. I know how it feels, I feel the same way and all I can say is it's only going to make you stronger by 2 times. If I could give u a buddy hug I would man, I know the feeling I wish I had someone to just say it's gonna be okay and help me through it all. I did have some support, but at times it feels like no matter what anyone says.. it doesn't feel any better. If you want to do something about your life. Do it for your dog. Get up and fight life and say your gonna make it through this for your awesome dog, who gave you some awesome memories. And that you won't give up or stay down. Your better than that!
Author yuppup Posted September 27, 2012 Author Posted September 27, 2012 (edited) Thank you. I'm sorry I'm so late in responding. I had one really good day today (Wednesday). I realized that I can't accept someone neglecting me and our relationship like that, and that it was definitely for the best. But then doubt seeped in. I know it sounds stupid, but I look forward to the day she regrets doing this to me. I just don't think that day will ever come. I don't look forward to it as hope of getting her back. I look forward to an authentic apology and also in hopes that she'll realize she was a complete jerk. Through our last correspondence, I gather she's made this entire situation about her and her needs. Whenever she was going through something, I had to drop what I was doing to cater to her feelings. I've had to replace windows (because she was angry and didn't realize how hard she was knocking - when I wasn't even home!), I've gotten $150 cell phone bills from her constant texting when she was freaking out about some life struggle (I don't have unlimited texting), my parents have even considered filing a restraining order against her because when she couldn't contact me, she would call them incessantly. Literally, like 60 times a day. I admit that sometimes I did take too much space when she was having a freakout, but it was usually one day and I really just didn't want the problems to escalate. But I was there through all of this, cuz I knew her anger management issues weren't her identity and I was willing to work through it with her. But as soon as I'm the one that needs help, she's out the door. This has happened so many times in our relationship. I'd need her around and she'd be too busy with her friends. She ditched me so many times, it's stupid that I'm even hurting at this point. And now I'm the needy one. When the breakup happened, she told me to grow up and realize what I'm doing to the relationship by needing her so much. Um, excuse me? My dog died. I just need a hug! I literally didn't even get a phone call from her, let alone a hug. Will the time come that she realizes she royally screwed up? Am I making this worse than it really is? I'm just so confused. I'm definitely in the bargaining stage right now. But I know deep down that it's done and even if she had a rainbow shooting out of her ***, I still wouldn't go back. I'm just really gonna miss her. =( I'm almost positive there's someone else. For her to go from a needy person to stone-cold like this, there has to be another girl. Also, would it be incredibly catty of me to send her the promise rings she bought for me when I also mail her her keys tomorrow? EDIT: I just don't want the rings anymore, but I don't have the nerve to throw them out. I refused to meet up when she contacted me today so I could give her her keys. She even had the nerve to say she'd always love me, but then went on a rant about how horrible I am. Blah! Sorry for the novel of a post. I underlined the questions just so people can skip over my rambling. Edited September 27, 2012 by yuppup
Rosa Tamora Posted September 27, 2012 Posted September 27, 2012 What horrible timing. People can be so mean sometime. She could have at least wait a bit and help you through it, ya know? Could have, should have. Yes you will miss your partner, but you gotta learn to let go. Grieve it, and take it for what it is. If she can't even give you a hug (I know what this feels like, ex-bf was NOT affectionate with me) then she's not a friend even.... You don't want to waste your energy on the people who won't invest in you. And what is UP with the "I love you but you're horrible this and that". That's not love my friend. YOu will feel better soon, I promise. You don't need someone telling you how horrible you are. Walk on... 1
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