Embee Posted July 24, 2004 Posted July 24, 2004 I have started dating again after a break-up eight months ago. The relationship only lasted five months. We had met on Match.com and I went to post my profile earlier this month and saw his again. We broke up becuase he was feeling confused and said he had strong feelings for me but was unsure about a future together and needed therapy. My heart is still broken. We were so compatible and had great chemistry. I am finding dating again very difficult. No one seems to spark my interest. I want to feel good about getting into another relationship and finding someone who will care for me equally. I am compelled to write to my ex and tell him how crappy I feel or just drop him a line and ask how he is to see if he responds. I doubt either of these are good ideas. What can I do to stop feeling so tortured and torturing myself? What can I do to date with an open heart?
WB Posted July 24, 2004 Posted July 24, 2004 It's hard moving on isn't it? It's been 13 months since my breakup, and I'm still not ready. My friends say I should just go out and have fun. Well it's hard having fun when I compare every girl I meet to my ex. I think we all need time to grieve. But I must say every week it gets a little easier. So hang in there. You'll eventually get out of the runt. In the meantime, just keep yourself occupied, set a goal and try your darnest getting there.
sweetadeline Posted July 25, 2004 Posted July 25, 2004 Hey Embee, I can really relate to your situation--I dated someone from an online site (with whom I also seemed very compatible, had great chemistry, etc.) for about four months and haven't been able to go back to that site since he broke things off (also about four months ago). For the (small amount) of dating that I've done since, I used a different site--there are many out there besides Match.com (Salon.com, Lavalife, Kiss.com, YahooPersonals, and AmericanSingles just to name a few, as well as the increasing number of sites geared to people with specific interests). Consider using another site so that you aren't forced to see your ex's picture every time you log on. But, you know, it could also be that you're just not ready to date again. It always takes longer to get over things than we think it will. I wouldn't call or contact the ex, though. I understand the temptation very well, but remember: he can't heal what he broke to begin with. And even if the fantasy worked and you got back together, unless he either changed his mind about you or did something to resolve his confusion, you'd end up going through the same heartbreak again. Squared.
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