LoveHurts88 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Why do I still care about her? It's been a month and a week since our break up. 6 days of real NC. Everyday at work or even when I'm out clubbing, playing sports no matter what I do I think of her still. It's pissing me off. She probably doesn't even think of me anymore. Why do I even bother why do I even care? I honestly thought I'd be fine, so it seems that way. Is it because I still love her or is it because I don't have anyone now? Some days seem better than others but everyday, and I mean everyday I think about her. Wake up her, lunch her, bedtime her. What can I do to stop thinking about her. I bought her a gift but never gave it to her and I'm not going to. It's just pissing me off knowing she probably doesn't give a **** about me and me. obviously it seems like I still care a lot about her. Worst Feeling EVER! Any help will be appreciated. Thanks
Minka333 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 You care coz it's human nature especially if you truly loved her. You remember the good times. You wonder if she still cares. The memories are still fresh. Her face, scent and voice still lingers. 6 days is too short to move on. It is ok to miss somebody. It's how you deal with it that makes a difference.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 You care coz it's human nature especially if you truly loved her. You remember the good times. You wonder if she still cares. The memories are still fresh. Her face, scent and voice still lingers. 6 days is too short to move on. It is ok to miss somebody. It's how you deal with it that makes a difference. Reason why I said it was 6 days NC was because she asked me question on bill payments which I believe I should have answered because it's on my CC. I believe it would have been 2 weeks if she didn't ask me those questions. I did truly love her, I would marry her if I could. Honestly speaking, I don't think she cares about me that's why I'm pissed. I just want to move on and just forget about everything. I don't want to love her anymore if that sounds stupid, because I would still take a bullet for her.
Minka333 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I know how you feel because when i temporarily broke up with my bf i felt so pissed too coz' his thoughts hounded me. I hated that! I would go out with friends, unwind and do whatever. But i felt so heavy. I wanted to stay at home but go out at the same time to escape the pain. It was maddening! So i just dealt with it by going with the flow. I would cry and cry coz' i had to release the heaviness. I wrote notes after notes which i never sent but imagined sending. I tried dating but even that was painful coz' i wasn't ready. Then i told myself this is just a temporary phase. Optimism kicked in coz' i know this sadness won't last forever. I knew eventually happiness would come knocking at my door. I started thinking of the lessons i learned from the relationship. That i had to go thru this ordeal to become a better person the next time around. No one can help me but myself. I stopped blaming him or me for what happened. I relied upon what my soul gained. It was hard not to miss him but i chose not to fight it. I celebrated the memories we shared that made me grow. Ok im yapping too much.. We are back together. But everytime we break up, i always go thru the same cycle until i feel better. Btw, If i may ask, what was the cause of your breakup?
SeanitaKim Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I totally feel you. My boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago, and it left me pretty much traumatized. It's even worse picking up the pieces because he's getting along fine without me, as in the case of your ex. He openly flirts with other girls (even my friends), goes on with his daily routines, generally has a great time while I'm stuck here thinking about him constantly. He probably doesn't even remember my name by now. It's almost unfair how I'm suffering so much but he seems so darn, well, happy. I'm thinking time will help get him out of my head. On the bright side, the fact that it hurts for me proves that I'm not as shallow as my ex in terms of human relations, which makes me a better person than him. I guess we just have to let it fade away. Long live us. \m/
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 I know how you feel because when i temporarily broke up with my bf i felt so pissed too coz' his thoughts hounded me. I hated that! I would go out with friends, unwind and do whatever. But i felt so heavy. I wanted to stay at home but go out at the same time to escape the pain. It was maddening! So i just dealt with it by going with the flow. I would cry and cry coz' i had to release the heaviness. I wrote notes after notes which i never sent but imagined sending. I tried dating but even that was painful coz' i wasn't ready. Then i told myself this is just a temporary phase. Optimism kicked in coz' i know this sadness won't last forever. I knew eventually happiness would come knocking at my door. I started thinking of the lessons i learned from the relationship. That i had to go thru this ordeal to become a better person the next time around. No one can help me but myself. I stopped blaming him or me for what happened. I relied upon what my soul gained. It was hard not to miss him but i chose not to fight it. I celebrated the memories we shared that made me grow. Ok im yapping too much.. We are back together. But everytime we break up, i always go thru the same cycle until i feel better. Btw, If i may ask, what was the cause of your breakup? Long story short, I had a feeling it was coming. Basically one day she went out to drink with her ex which I'm fine with because they are good friends and I know nothings going on but the fact that she slept over at someone's house and come home at 5PM the next day. Didn't text me or tell me or pick up my calls so we got into an argument that day and I can tell she wanted me to break up with her but because I love her I couldn't so she did... She missed work thats one reason why I called another is because I wanted to make sure she was okay.. Doesn't hurt to text me to let me know she's not coming home... And she lost feelings for me. I asked her if she still had feelings for me on text or missed me she said sometimes that night I asked her in person she said no and that hurt me soo much and pissed me off that I just wanted to forget her. Everyday now she's partying and having fun shes prolly seeing someone else or has someone in mind.
Minka333 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Now i totally get why you wanna get way past all these mess. It is heartbreaking to see the one we love transform to someone we barely know. My guess is she is confused or lost somewhere which explains her actions. She might have unmet needs which forced her to look elsewhere and suddenly turn cold. Did she had any past complainst with you or your relationship?
Calico Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Why do I still care about her? Because of this: It's been a month and a week since our break up. 6 days of real NC Only extremely little time has passed. It's no different for me.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 Now i totally get why you wanna get way past all these mess. It is heartbreaking to see the one we love transform to someone we barely know. My guess is she is confused or lost somewhere which explains her actions. She might have unmet needs which forced her to look elsewhere and suddenly turn cold. Did she had any past complainst with you or your relationship? Well we broke up before and got back together... No complaints she never told me anything.. Even the week before all that crap happened she told me she loved me, kissed me and we had fun at the carnival... I think she lost feelings and that its over? Althought i want her back
Brian4 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 You still care because a) You are human b) Someone who is in your life in that capacity for any amount of time is bound to leave a positive feeling in you, and the loss of that feeling makes you feel empty inside. c) As somebody once told me, "those who have a greater capacity for love often hurt and feel pain more frequently, and more severely, than those who do not have that capacity". It's something that has actually really helped me out. You are feeling this because it is in your nature. You had something you loved more than anything, and the loss of that is causing you hell. A cynical person would say that it sucks being like this, but the pain you are going through now will undoubtedly make the next relationship even sweeter, and in turn you will learn that this is in the end you are a better person for having this experience.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 You still care because a) You are human b) Someone who is in your life in that capacity for any amount of time is bound to leave a positive feeling in you, and the loss of that feeling makes you feel empty inside. c) As somebody once told me, "those who have a greater capacity for love often hurt and feel pain more frequently, and more severely, than those who do not have that capacity". It's something that has actually really helped me out. You are feeling this because it is in your nature. You had something you loved more than anything, and the loss of that is causing you hell. A cynical person would say that it sucks being like this, but the pain you are going through now will undoubtedly make the next relationship even sweeter, and in turn you will learn that this is in the end you are a better person for having this experience. Right now i dont want to b with anyone other than her. Im giving her all the time and space she needs now as im going full nc. Im hoping she misses us together
Brian4 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Believe me, I understand that. Everyone on this board feels the same way. But right now, you need to work on fixing you. I know you don't want to be with anyone else, but if you dont take care of you, I promise it will eat you away. Start spending more time with positive influences; people who will not mind hearing about you talking about it, people who will never judge you, people who will not leave you. I know I may sound harsh, but you need to almost forget that this person exists. There is nothing in the world harder than that, but if you focus on getting through today and I to tomorrow, your going to be ok. One day you'll wake up and say "I don't know how I got through that, but I did". Trust me, mate, you'll be better for it.
Author LoveHurts88 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 I know, i havent spoke to her in a week and its killing me. I love this girl to death... Will Nc get her back to me?
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