lostindeed Posted July 24, 2004 Posted July 24, 2004 hello, I have have been dating this girl for almost 1 year and a couple of days ago (on my b-day) she told me that she needed a break from me. The next day she says she changed her mind and that she loves me to much to be away from me. Later on that day she tells me she wants to break up with me because she says she is not in love with me anymore and that the feeling is not the same. So we both cried together and we said our good byes and I was telling her thank you for all the wonderful times together and she jumps on me and starts sobbing, then she slaps me. I asked her why she slapped me and she said she wants to try and work things out because she does not want to lose me. What the HELL do I do? She says that we are not broken up but we are on hold, this means to her that we just will not spend as much time together( we are together 24/7 basically) and she does want to stay with me but she needs her space. I am so confused right now as to this relationship and what she means. When most girls say they need their space that means that it is over,you know, but what should I do? PLEASE HELP
young&idealistic Posted July 24, 2004 Posted July 24, 2004 I'm sorry that this had to happen to you. It sounds very similar to a situation I've witnessed before, with my last college roommate who loved her boyfriend so much that she could never let him go as a friend, but didn't love him as a boyfriend. He is still in a whirlwind--over a year later--but she has no interest in him romantically. I am so sorry, but there is no such thing as being on hold. I think she cares about you deeply, and that is why she can't make a clean break from you. But if she has feelings that she is not in love anymore, that's very serious. She doesn't want to lose you, but she would not have initiated this break if some voice inside her weren't telling her something wasn't right. As a girl, I will tell you that it's scary to let go of the guy you're with, even if you know you aren't right with him. Please don't allow her to screw around with your head. If she's decided something isn't right, she is going to be gone soon. My best advice--let her go. I hate to say it, but her slapping you is a sign something is REALLY screwed up. I would never slap a guy. Imagine you slapping her--it would be absolutely WRONG. There is something going on with her that she's not telling you about.
faux Posted July 24, 2004 Posted July 24, 2004 Originally posted by lostindeed hello, I have have been dating this girl for almost 1 year and a couple of days ago (on my b-day) she told me that she needed a break from me. The next day she says she changed her mind and that she loves me to much to be away from me. That is a bad sign. I'd have invested no further time. This girl is very indecisive and is not sure of what she wants. Later on that day she tells me she wants to break up with me because she says she is not in love with me anymore and that the feeling is not the same. I saw this coming. Again, I would have invested no further time in this girl. She sound as though she could be problematic, behaving so oddly. So we both cried together and we said our good byes and I was telling her thank you for all the wonderful times together and she jumps on me and starts sobbing, then she slaps me. I asked her why she slapped me and she said she wants to try and work things out because she does not want to lose me. What the HELL do I do? Did I say problematic? Yes. I believe that I did mention that. She slapped you? Wow. I can tell you what I think that you should do: Do not speak to this girl. Do not see this girl. Do not communicate to this girl in any way. If this girl attempts to communicate with you, do not accept and ignore her attempts. Move on and avoid this girl. I would. I would also like to add, that it is not okay to strike another person. It was wrong of this girl to slap you. She says that we are not broken up but we are on hold, this means to her that we just will not spend as much time together( we are together 24/7 basically) and she does want to stay with me but she needs her space. This girl has no idea what she wants. This may be a ploy to get you to hang around, while she runs about and does whatever it is she pleases, with whomever she pleases. Forget about her. PLEASE. I am so confused right now as to this relationship and what she means. When most girls say they need their space that means that it is over,you know, but what should I do? PLEASE HELP Well, I have had my share of nut-cases, and most of those girls are not even as odd as yours sounds. I think you should tell this girl that the relationship is over, and you won't be talking to her, or seeing her, any longer. Do you really even want to consider being with this girl after how she has been acting? This is what I think you should do, concerning this girl: Run away.
greenie Posted July 24, 2004 Posted July 24, 2004 I bet you have been TOO available to her, TOO emotional, TOO giving, and not "manly" enough with her. It comes across as dishonest to women when you coddle them, as if you're trying to manipulate them to get what YOU want. She's confused b/c logically you are such a sweet guy, but she's not ATTRACTED to you like she wants to be. Here's what I would do. Not be available so easy. Be busy. Don't call backright away. GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU. Don't turn your life upside down for her. Respect yourself and your own time, and she'll follow suit. Be nice, but honest. She knows you love her. Don't tell her ALL THE TIME!!!! BE loving, but also take care of yourself. Expect her to love you, and meet you halfway. Be confident. Even if you have to fake it at first. It'll stick. Have a life outside of her. Go out with the guys. Make sure she knows you're having fun. This makes you a fun person to be around. Be a man. No offense, but don't act like a women does. She's the woman, you're the man. You're different. She likes it when you do manly stuff. My girlfriends loved it when I would fix things around the house, stuff like that. Play a sport with the guys. Don't apologize for being a man. THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS!!!!!! GIVE IT TO HER!!
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