GirlontheLam Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 sumdude I find it really hard to believe that women never come on to you. Maybe you are just missing their passive little signals? Another good historical example. Robert de Brus, 6th Lord of Annandale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (You know the one in braveheart who's all crusty and rotting while alive?) We send you signs, that we might be open to your approach: Eye contact smiles winks body language A couple of looks, and a couple of smiles are typically a good sign of flirting. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Perhaps. Though, I have had my share of women do just that and turn out to have a BF, be engaged, and even married. Then they are still into fooling around to varying degree's. (Men do similar things they just don't tell you until after the deed is done.)
suladas Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Seriously, just go for it. I just sent a message to a old friend I haven't seen in years about going out and catching up, because there was a spark between us before but I never did anything about it. If you want to be with someone, you just gotta try. Frankly i'm quite shy, but i'm not going to let it get in my way anymore of getting out there and meeting someone. I mean the worst is you get a no..... 2
xxoo Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Perhaps. Though, I have had my share of women do just that and turn out to have a BF, be engaged, and even married. Then they are still into fooling around to varying degree's. (Men do similar things they just don't tell you until after the deed is done.) Married women may do these things simply because they are feeling comfortable. Non-single women can be natural with men, without worrying about sending the wrong intentions. Single women know (or learn) better than to do these things unless they are interested.
jobaba Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 We send you signs, that we might be open to your approach: Eye contact smiles winks body language A couple of looks, and a couple of smiles are typically a good sign of flirting. :laugh::laugh: My experiences beg to differ. I also have had WAY stronger signals than that turn into rejection. Let's be honest. As people, we ALWAYS think those we find attractive are giving us signals. Every cute girl I pass on the street, if our eyes meet, "was she was checking me out?"
Mrlonelyone Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Married women may do these things simply because they are feeling comfortable. Non-single women can be natural with men, without worrying about sending the wrong intentions. Signals are just signals. Unless there is a wedding band on that finger there is no reason they should expect someone to know their signals aren't signals. Then even when there is a wedding band on their finger the signals are still signals. Signals that they want to discretely fool around. That's a part of life. Single women know (or learn) better than to do these things unless they are interested. Not really. I know I have inadvertently signaled men on an unconcious level. Had them approach me when I wasn't really feeling up to it. Then had to turn them down. (if your new here hi I am a male to female transsexual and open to experiences with all genders and both sexes). Guys, much of the time a totally single and theoretically looking woman will turn down a date because of bad timing, nerves, their own issues. @suladas Exactly. If they say no then your no worse off than you are now.
AD1980 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 1.when you say set up do you mean you haven't been set up on a blind date or that a woman has set you up for a date? please explain this for me 2.Being told you are good looking or not being told you are good looking is not a sign if you are desirable to others or all others everybody has different ideals 3.you cannot possible know if women have asked about you or not it is possible they have and you are not aware. 4. i have been told by lots of men i am attractive sexy desirable my voice is sexy etc etc doesn't mean i feel halfway decent looking at the best of times I have also been put down by other men called ugly, too big, mannish because my shoulders are broad.... i have been cheated on and abused verbally and otherwise.So i have major issues i deal with i am tempted to ask you to pm me a picture and i will tell you what i find ........from first looks....i dont go on first looks though but i bet you though i could find something that you are missing.....probably many....do you know what is harder than finding something in yourself that is great........believing it to be true that others find those qualities in you......i would like your reply on some of my questions please......deb Not that i wanted to be set up but when some of your friends wives who your close with all say to your other friends they want to hook them up with certain females theyknow and never do it with you chances are its becasue they dont think im attractive enough to set up I guess i could send you a pic if you wish
Lonely Ronin Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 The women I've dated, I had physical contact with them within no more than 1-3 one on one meetings. It makes me think women either think you're cute or there's an emotional component that snaps on, and then it's on. If not, then it's not. The average man finds maybe ~25% of women attractive initially. The average woman finds maybe ~5% of men attractive initially. If a woman isn't in a man's 25%, she most likely never will be. A man on the other hand, has a tendency to grow on a woman. Even though you might not have been in her 5% initially you still end up with her. That's why I'm a big proponent of learning to read body language. I only approach the women in my 25% that give off signs of me being in their 5%. It means I don't date as much as some, but when I do, it's fun & carefree. 2
xxoo Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Not really. I know I have inadvertently signaled men on an unconcious level. Had them approach me when I wasn't really feeling up to it. Then had to turn them down. . Yes, me too, before I learned! If it bothered you enough, and it happened enough, you might consciously become more careful (I did). Once I was married, I relaxed....because I didn't have to awkwardly turn anyone down. A simple, "I'm flattered, but I'm married" solves all issues without hurt feelings.
Necris Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 We send you signs, that we might be open to your approach: Eye contact smiles winks body language A couple of looks, and a couple of smiles are typically a good sign of flirting. You can't really rely too much on a woman's body language if you are me women will NEVER flirt with you, and then in that rare situation that they are throwing flirtatious signs its much more likely she just likes messing with guys than actually being attracted to you, so your only option is to go out there and ask the woman you've been thinking about out, and 11 times out of 10 she's just not into you and then you move on the same thing happens and rinse and repeat.
ThaWholigan Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 You can't really rely too much on a woman's body language if you are me women will NEVER flirt with you, and then in that rare situation that they are throwing flirtatious signs its much more likely she just likes messing with guys than actually being attracted to you, so your only option is to go out there and ask the woman you've been thinking about out, and 11 times out of 10 she's just not into you and then you move on the same thing happens and rinse and repeat. Dude, I don't mean to rag on you really, but all you do is complain . You will never get anywhere if you keep doing that. You really have to learn to deal with it and keep trying. Learn how to do things, and have belief that it will work. Look at all the suggestions that I and others have made to you and other posters in similar dire straits. It's not impossible to become desirable you know .
threebyfate Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 verhrzn, your best articulated thread to date. I can imagine all the moaning, crying and whining if guys were to spend the amount of time your average woman does in looking good and never being approached. Add in the hate on for Feminism and equal rights, and it's a pretty twisted mine field of defense mechanisms these guys have built up. 2
Woggle Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Women look good to impress other women and not to be approached by men.
Mrlonelyone Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Women look good to impress other women and not to be approached by men. I think that a woman in a blood red dress will get more attention than a woman in grey, lightly stained, sweats.
Woggle Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I think that a woman in a blood red dress will get more attention than a woman in grey, lightly stained, sweats. But they do it to impress other women.
ScreamingTrees Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I know this discussion has probably turned into something totally different than what OP is talking about, and I have only read the first page, so I'm just gonna mention that I think it'd be weird for me, as a guy, to think "oh, man, she's showing interest, now I have to worry about my appearance!" I'd just be very confident that she already IS very attracted to my physique in it's current form and if I'm interested, I'll gladly take the reins or at least throw the ball back into her court.. If all we're talking about is a relatively shallow sort of solely-physical attraction. What exactly would a girl HAVE to maintain that she shouldn't already have been maintaining for her own sake? Are these girls only in decent physical shape because they're afraid of being alone? Would they otherwise have no drive to be active and physically healthy? I can't see what else requires so much effort once a guy has already made his interest known to a girl.. Some mascara? Lip stick? That stuff is used to accentuate, not to mask.. Personally, I might be weird, but while I do appreciate the effort, I wouldn't really care if a girl chose not to do stuff like that all of the time.
insertnamehere Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 But they do it to impress other women. Increasing the cost of competition is part of the art of competing. If you can drive up the cost of competition to the point that a less well-off or less committed competitor doesn't bother to try, you win. There's a reason Cinderella's such a time-honored fairy tale. A good portion of the appeal is about leap frogging women with greater means, taking the guy and then spiking the football right in their faces. It's a wish fulfillment fantasy about burying "those bitches" in a single, brutal, fell swoop. 1
Author verhrzn Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 I know this discussion has probably turned into something totally different than what OP is talking about, and I have only read the first page, so I'm just gonna mention that I think it'd be weird for me, as a guy, to think "oh, man, she's showing interest, now I have to worry about my appearance!" I'd just be very confident that she already IS very attracted to my physique in it's current form and if I'm interested, I'll gladly take the reins or at least throw the ball back into her court.. If all we're talking about is a relatively shallow sort of solely-physical attraction. What exactly would a girl HAVE to maintain that she shouldn't already have been maintaining for her own sake? Are these girls only in decent physical shape because they're afraid of being alone? Would they otherwise have no drive to be active and physically healthy? I can't see what else requires so much effort once a guy has already made his interest known to a girl.. Some mascara? Lip stick? That stuff is used to accentuate, not to mask.. Personally, I might be weird, but while I do appreciate the effort, I wouldn't really care if a girl chose not to do stuff like that all of the time. Go read my post about all the different things girls do to be attractive. Obviously I can't back this up with scientific data, but I know that if I didn't care about being attractive to men, I'd ditch a whole lot of it. (When I'm single, I rarely shave my legs and absolutely never wax my bikini line, for example.) Men also have an AWFUL time identifying what is natural and what is make-up. So when you say you don't really care if a girl stops doing all that stuff.... well, ya might if she actually did. You just don't think it'd be a big deal because you don't realize how much it encompasses now.
Mrlonelyone Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 But they do it to impress other women. Lesbians dress to impress other women. Men care about what a woman wears on a unconscious level*. i.e. if you see a woman wearing expensive brands and you make 45,000 a year you know to stay away. If she wears lightly stained sweats from Target then a guy that makes 45,000 might make her happy. See what I'm saying? In times past a woman wearing a leopoard skin would expect you to be a big hunter and get her more leopard skin. Compared to the woman who's happy wearing a grass skirt. To the ladies: If you want more men to approach you don't try so hard. Be clean and well groomed but approachable looking.
NoMoreJerks Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Women do "approach" men, just not the way some men who haven't had much luck would've liked women to approach them. Approaching doesn't have to actually involve going up to them and saying hi. It can be subtle, but readable, if you are paying attention. It doesn't even take a whole lot of experience to "read" body language either. A girl who is interested in you will , subconsciously, show her interest through her body language. Her arms, hands, etc. Eye contact is another big one. And smiling, big time.. All I did to show interest in my ex, when I first met him, was make a lot of eye contact (so much so that he would sometimes look away lol ) and give him great big smiles. He took it from there. I did quite a bit of work afterwards, to nudge him into things like exchanging numbers, but initially, he understood my interest in him through nothing more than my body language , smiles, and eye contact.
suladas Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Go read my post about all the different things girls do to be attractive. Obviously I can't back this up with scientific data, but I know that if I didn't care about being attractive to men, I'd ditch a whole lot of it. (When I'm single, I rarely shave my legs and absolutely never wax my bikini line, for example.) Men also have an AWFUL time identifying what is natural and what is make-up. So when you say you don't really care if a girl stops doing all that stuff.... well, ya might if she actually did. You just don't think it'd be a big deal because you don't realize how much it encompasses now. Most women don't need make up to look hot, I could really careless to be honest. Yes once in a while seeing them dressed up nice is great but most of the time I don't care. I think I find a women the hottest waking up next to them in bed, no make up hair a mess is hot. Or a women whos working and getting dirty, that is so hot. Women who just cover themselves in garbage on their face is not hot at all.
NoMoreJerks Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Most women don't need make up to look hot, I could really careless to be honest. Yes once in a while seeing them dressed up nice is great but most of the time I don't care. I think I find a women the hottest waking up next to them in bed, no make up hair a mess is hot. Or a women whos working and getting dirty, that is so hot. Women who just cover themselves in garbage on their face is not hot at all. Honestly, that is not the impression I get from most men. Most men go for the chick who has loads of make-up on, as well as mini-skirt and high heels. Chicks who, if I saw on the street, I would think were whores. I go light on the make-up, but I do wear it every day, especially when I'm going out in the evening. I find that it *does* make me look nicer, and I feel a boost in confidence when I do wear it. But it's so light that it might not even be noticeable. I'd wear it even if I weren't looking for a guy, btw.
ThaWholigan Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Guys are rubbish at detecting make-up to be honest. Even girls I think aren't wearing it are wearing it. I think if men were used to seeing women without makeup more, we would probably get used to it. For the record, I like girls without makeup regardless. 1
ScreamingTrees Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Go read my post about all the different things girls do to be attractive. Obviously I can't back this up with scientific data, but I know that if I didn't care about being attractive to men, I'd ditch a whole lot of it. (When I'm single, I rarely shave my legs and absolutely never wax my bikini line, for example.) Men also have an AWFUL time identifying what is natural and what is make-up. So when you say you don't really care if a girl stops doing all that stuff.... well, ya might if she actually did. You just don't think it'd be a big deal because you don't realize how much it encompasses now. Well, I guess so. But even then, at least a girl knows that with your average guy, what you see is what you get, facially. Can't really change your physique outside of surgery and/or exercise or a positive life style (change).. What exactly do you mean by discerning between natural and make-up? Can you provide any examples? I'll go check out your post.
Imported Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 But they do it to impress other women. Where did you read that BS from and why do you believe it? Have you never had a girl dress up just to impress you and get upset when you didn't notice or say anything about it? A girl you meet at something like a class and she's dressed OK, but not 'impressive' and the next class she is all dolled up? I do believe many guys don't dress up in order to fit in with other guys that might think they're gay. I mean....dressing up and getting in shape to attract women....you must be gay or something. Women like pot-bellied men that wear greasy jeans that are two sizes too big, hasn't been washed in a month combined with a dirty arm-pit stained T-shirt proclaiming your love of some sports team just fine right?
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