Jehuty212 Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 Okay this is going to be a long one... Last month, I went to Boston for a one week long course at Berklee. When I was up there, I was talking to my girlfriend and I jokingly asked for a sexy picture of her. She responded with "I don't feel so well about myself." I continued to ask her why and she said "It's a lot of things," then I asked if it was me and she said "You're part of it." At that point my time in Boston was ruined knowing that my baby was upset and I was almost 500 miles away not able to do a thing. She said we'd talk about it when I got back home. On the drive back when I was within 40 miles of my house, she texted me saying that she was nervous about the talk we were going to have. Fast forward an hour and we're lying in my bed and she's crying saying that we need a break because she thought she was constantly angering me and thinking that she was ruining my life. At the time I didn't want a break because it was going on the anniversary of someone really close to me death, and I didn't want to be alone during that time. However, I knew that we both needed space because she had anxiety and emotional issues and I just wasn't happy. She was very clingy/needy and I rarely got space that I needed. I was getting agitated because I needed time away but, she really liked my family and she felt like she fit in and I wanted her to be happy, so I just said screw the space. However that's not why I was unhappy. I was unhappy because I lacked self-identity and I needed to find that and love myself before I could continue taking care of her. She gave a letter to my parents saying basically that she wants her and I to get better if she and I were to continue a relationship down the road. Over the next few days, I did some favors for her like her homework (she has ADD). I went to deliever it to her later that night. We talked and she cried in my arms, shortly after her parents came home and saw her smeared makeup and must have thought that I hurt her or something. The next day I wanted to give her her favorite stuffed animal when she lived with me. She had less than an hour remaining at work, so I decided to wait in the front room. She angrily came over to me asking what I was doing. She asked me to leave and as I was, I got a phone call from my mom saying that I need to get the hell away from her work. She called her dad.. The next night, her dad called my dad saying "If he ever calls, texts, IMs, emails, or visits her at work again, I WILL call the police and I WILL get a PFA." Umm, we're both 20, so he couldn't get one for her from me. But, it's his house and his wishes. Later, she told a close friend of mine that she didn't want it, but her parents insisted on it. Two weeks later, my friend asked her to get in contact with me because he was worried about me (he's away at school). She responded by saying that it's for the best if we no longer have contact and that I'd be better off without her and that she wants me to be happy "and that unfortunately can't be with me anymore." Going back to what I said earlier, I don't rely on her to make me happy. That's my job. I lost alot of interest in things I used to do. I was unhappy, because I didn't do anything other than hop onto the computer (not saying that's a bad thing) I just wanted to do more. She relied on me to make her happy, and since I wasn't happy she "lost" her happiness as well. She thinks she made me miserable, but she didn't and she's going to throw us away. There's nothing I can do to stop it. I respect her father, but I don't want to watch what we've built burn down. I was too busy to trying to keep her for another week so I could make it through that hell week, instead of explaining everything to her. I'm dying to to tell her that she's done nothing wrong and she's blowing things way out of proportion. I need the space to better myself, because I'm not ready to continue a relationship. Since then, I've been playing more shows with my band and friends plus I've been running a lot more and I feel pretty good about myself, but I'm not perfect. I need to tell her to hold on, that we can still work. Tell her that she didn't ruin anything.
Author Jehuty212 Posted September 19, 2012 Author Posted September 19, 2012 (edited) One last thing, she kept saying before we severed contact. "I don't want to lose you, you're the best friend a girl could have." followed by "You make me so happy." Not to mention the uncertainty in the message she sent to my friend Edited September 19, 2012 by Jehuty212
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