Has declaring your true feelings worked?

[TheKey]

Has declaring your true feelings worked? Like really declaring what you truly feel for your partner after a so called breakup? And asking for second chance?

 

What are the chances for that working and how do you go about it for best sucess? Any ideas, tips, articles?

[Calico]

It didn't work the first time I tried it, and still didn't work when I did it for the tenth time. If anything, it pushed her farther away. If you are the dumpee, I think those declarations and offers need to come from the dumper. If the dumpee does it, it feels much like desperation and begging.

[TheKey]

It didn't work the first time I tried it, and still didn't work when I did it for the tenth time. If anything, it pushed her farther away. If you are the dumpee, I think those declarations and offers need to come from the dumper. If the dumpee does it, it feels much like desperation and begging.

 

Then what should you do? What options are there? What if she was really crazy in love with you and you haven't really appreciated her in the past and now realize how much you care about her and want to express those feelings?

[Calico]

Then what should you do? What options are there? What if she was really crazy in love with you and you haven't really appreciated her in the past and now realize how much you care about her and want to express those feelings?

 

If you feel that it is something that you should do, then go ahead and do it. I'm glad I tried, even if it may not have been beneficial in the end, but if I had not done it, I would always have wondered what would have happened if I had. (I believe that trying what you feel you should try is a good pre-requisite for going No Contact.)

 

I don't know your story, but in general, the common observation is that if it's broken, it's broken, and you can never go back to what you had before. It would be a new relationship even in a best case scenario. This is not true in every case, and each situation is different, so it's just a general take.

 

Even if it's hard, try to allow for the thought that you cannot "make" someone love or want you, and that it may be over (at least for the time being).

[Svet74]

I told my ex 8 months after our breakup how i felt about him. swallowed my pride but did it. For honesty and respect. He was quiet but seemed to agree. ALmost felt bad. The next day he called me out on it and siad that is only pushing him away. and asked why i care so much? It hurt me pretty bad. SO i waited a couple months or so to see if anything would change and it didnt. I then just let him go.

 

In my opinion if you feel like you have to say something go for it. Cuz ive herd of situations where being honest brought the other closer to you. In some cases it doesnt but at least you tried and you know. Once you get an answer you get to decide whether you want to leave or stay. I chose to leave

[head-over-heels]

It all depends on how and why ye broke-up.

 

If you treated her like crap when she was crazy about you ask yourself why would she want to go back to a relationship like that?

 

Theres no point in promising her the moon and the stars until you are really willing to change your attitude towards her.

 

If you think there is a chance of getting back with her put pen to paper and write her a letter tell her everything dont send an e-mail or a text, a letter is more meaningful and show's its from the heart.

 

After that the ball's in her court.

[Floored]

It worked for me! I told her a month after she left that I still thought we had something special, unique, and it was worth giving another shot to, even if she had already had a one-night stand. I 'put the ball in her court' if you will. And she 'stabbed the ball and shot all the spectators' if you also will. There's no undoing what she said that night, the ball lies flat in her court, never to be dribbled again. Haven't heard from her since, but I've heard enough of her shenanigans to know that who she is now is not the lil' lady I loved for so long.

 

It worked in the way that I gave up trying and thinking we'd be together, and our already horrible breakup took on the form of yet a more terrible monster, so I just walked away from it all. If you want advice, I'd say just let it be. You want actual hope to even have this person in your life? Don't ruin anything by further muddying the waters.

 

The best advice I heard regarding what you're asking is that in order for two people to have the best second chance, they have to start completely over. The first time obviously didn't work for some reason; rekindling that before both parties have settled their issues will only bring that back into the spotlight and dash the relationship yet again. Time and putting effort into yourself, away from your ex, is what will give you the best second shot. Don't just linger in waiting, work on yourself until you actually don't want them back, and hopefully they're doing the same.

 

When you both are in a comfortable place on your own, that's the best second chance you'll get.

 

I obviously didn't live this, so I can't really attest to it's success rate either, I just heard it, and it seems to make sense. But relationships don't make sense so..

[flitzanu]

Has declaring your true feelings worked? Like really declaring what you truly feel for your partner after a so called breakup? And asking for second chance?

 

What are the chances for that working and how do you go about it for best sucess? Any ideas, tips, articles?

 

 

YES TOTALLY!!!!!!!!

 

in the movies.

 

it doesn't work when you got dumped and decide to tell your ex that you actually do care.

[suladas]

I tried it, didn't work but I don't regret trying it. As others said, it's something you need to do if you do want them back and otherwise to help you move on. I know I couldn't live with myself if I never tried and down the road I found out she felt the same way and just didn't say anything (especially considering both of us wanted to go out with each other for many months but neither of us worked up the courage to ask each other out). So I knew I had to try it. Try your best not to come off as desperate though.

 

To paraphrase what I said. I have to try this, I was wondering if there's any chance of trying things again, I am not sure how you feel, or if you even want to talk to me or feel the same way i just have to put myself out there and try and see what happens.

 

In my opinion it doesn't come off as desperate, I said more personal things to that I left out but that is basically what I said. If I could do it again, i'd still send pretty much exactly the same thing.

 

The way I see it, if they are second guessing themselves or want you back, my bet is they will respond and be happy you had the courage to tell them. If they don't want you back, then who cares it doesn't make things any worse. As long as you don't send them a million texts or calls or whatever, I don't think ONE message is pushing them away. Just have to wait a bit after the break up, don't send it the next day or anything.

[mvc]

you have to make sure that when you do you are in a good frame of mind. if you try when your head is still spinning and you are still emotional its not going to work. ive talked to my ex twice since we broke up, the first time i was a mess and i immediatly regretted the whole thing, the second time i was stronger emotionally and dont regret it at all

[blue_jay_bird]

Well i felt that when you show your intense, desperate, i can't live without you feelings it freak's them out. Cause they aren't having these feeling for you. My boyfriend would say something like. You need someone that love's you more than what i can give you.