Author stormy Posted July 26, 2004 Author Posted July 26, 2004 Have i done something to offend you? everything you say to me is negative. how old are you?
HoldOn Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Are you talking to me? I wasn't offended until you called me a b!tch. Don't worry about it though. I am 27. When I was 20 I dated a man who was 29. It was a bad idea. The relationship lasted for 3 years, but it was a bad one. But that is not the only reason that I think your relationship won't work out. I also had a guy friend my age who dated an 18 year old and all his friends thought he was crazy, because we couldn't understand WHY he would be dating this girl. He couldn't introduce her to his family and no one took their relationship seriously... because it wasn't. It was just kind of icky... I am just here to give people advice because I have made so many bad mistakes. Here is my take on this situation though. Please don't take it too personally, it's just my opinion on why you shouldn't date this guy: 1.) He already indicated he didn't want date a girl so young. So you would just be chasing him for nothing. 2.) He is way too old for you. Not just a little too old. 3.) There are mature guys in the younger range, say 18 to 25? I think you just have to look in different places. 4.) I don't think a "mature man" would date a girl who was barely legal and 20 years younger,, again, just my opinion.
Author stormy Posted July 26, 2004 Author Posted July 26, 2004 hey i didnt mean to offend you, im sorry if i did and i shouldnt have called you a bitch. I think im a little tired of the guys my age I at least wanted to let him know me before he just decided against it because of my age. And i didnt tell you that someone who doesnt like me told him my age in a bad way, she didnt mention that i was mature and a decent person she just mentioned my age, i was thinking maybe he would look past it ya know? i think it was unfair, and i wanted to right it. I was interested in him because he was always very nice and funny, in a nonsexual way, i was always professional with him until he showed interest. I feel like he left alot undiscovered.
HoldOn Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Yeah... I just think there is a lot to overcome with such a huge age difference.
Mr Spock Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 I'm not telling her what she wants to hear-I'm telling her what will probably happen. You're going to seduce him (no matter what you start out with in terms of kissing, in the end it's all f*cking)because you think it will be fun. And it probably will be. But he's not going to want to date you. Just hump you. So if you want to "date" this man, which entails public meetings, going on "dates" together, and attending social events etc you should wake up, because it's not going to work like that. But if you would like to engage in some wild, uninhibited intercourse where you both can drink tequila and screw in as many positions as you can think of, then go ahead. Expect repeat performances, but not flowers. He stopped pursuing you because he doesn't want people to think he's an old perv trying to boff a teenager. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't f*ck you if you were discreet about it. So what do you want? Do you want to do this guy or not? Don't expect couch snuggles. That's all I'm saying. He'll f*ck you alright.
simplybrill Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 I have to agree with Spock on this one. She's absolutely right. This guy isnt going to be the lovely cuddly boyfriend, long walks on the beach kind of guy. Coming from someone who's in your age range (21 here) dont go there. I understand being sick of the guys our age, because yeah- a lot of them are alcoholics in the making, and smoke mass amounts of pot, and are wasting their lives. But if you talked to people in your classes, you would realize that there are intellectuals in college who dont do that stuff, who are in college to truly better themselves. It sounds like you're hanging out with the wrong crowd, if you're only seeing jerks around you. Maybe instead of picking up older men, you should look into picking up cleaner friends?? Trying to seduce this guy will only lead to embarrassment on your part, and you feeling used and left out in the cold by a dirty old man. Which is what he is...by the way. Late thirties??? He's old enough to be your DAD...for heaven's sakes, doesnt that gross you out? If you want a challenge, try making Dean's List, and dating a guy with common sense, your own age.
HoldOn Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 Ooooh, I see what you are saying Dr. Spock. And you are totally right....
charl Posted November 20, 2005 Posted November 20, 2005 can i just say that i think u r all totally wrong!! i am 19 and my current boyfriend is 33, we havent been together for long and who knows if it will last but its goin pretty damn good at the moment, he didnt just want to **** me at all, we went on dates and when it eventually came down to sex it was me that initiated it. my ex boyfriend was also alot older than me (27) and our relationship lasted 12 months. so i say go 4 it and ask him out!!
chokra Posted December 26, 2005 Posted December 26, 2005 Stormy, just go for it, do whatever you feel like.
chokra Posted December 26, 2005 Posted December 26, 2005 Anyway, the question is why are YOU interested in dating him? Not trying to be rude, but how was your family life. Did your father leave you or abuse you? Isn't there some 19-year-old challenge you could find? Yes, I think he is totally appalled. As he should be. Most guys that age would be. If he was interested, you should seriously question his integrity. ...What. you think all 19-year-old guys are the same? What do you mean by that? Maybe you just need to get out more. Holdon, where the f**k were you raised ?!
justagirliegirl Posted December 26, 2005 Posted December 26, 2005 I wonder if she went after the older guy or not? Age is just a number. It depends on the people. I do think that from age 18 to say 25 there is a lot of growing up. People change a lot. I have been at both ends of the spectrum. My former husband was 12 years older than I was. I was 20 when I met him. Nobody ever said a word about our age difference. Now I am in my 40s and in a relationship with a man in his mid 20s. I get all kinds of dumb comments like Oh Demi Ashton. or have your fun with your boytoy. Enjoy the hot loving. Are you his sugar mamma. Just stupid things.
Curt Posted December 27, 2005 Moderators Posted December 27, 2005 I'd love to know what she decided too... You out there stormy?
Fun2BMe Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 I agree that age is just a number. When I was 19 I dated a man in his 50s and we were together until I was 29. I am now 37.
erika2610 Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 I agree that age is just a number. When I was 19 I dated a man in his 50s and we were together until I was 29. I am now 37. But age can become a big factor when it comes to things such as settling down, starting a family.. things like that. If you're 25 and he's say 50, he may be past the stage of just wanting to start a family, while you really want to..
Fun2BMe Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 But age can become a big factor when it comes to things such as settling down, starting a family.. things like that. If you're 25 and he's say 50, he may be past the stage of just wanting to start a family, while you really want to.. That's an important point. Yes, it's true you can love someone whose age is widely apart from yours, but there are other factors to take into consideration. Looking back, I wouldn't have been with an older man who was not interested in marrying and having children. I settled for that since I loved him, but now that I'm older I get angry that I missed out on important things and I've come to think that he should've known better than to be with me, even though I thought I was mature and knew what I was doing. I woke up one day thinking oh my god, I'm almost 30 and most of my friends have been married with children while I'm with this older man who has kept me from doing those things. I'm still angry about it becuase I could've been with a younger man and gotten married and had children. But at 19 I thought I was mature and all through my 20s I wasted on an older man with no intention I knew of getting married or having children. But a man in his 30s like Stormy's situation, that's different, he could be open to marriage and children. From my experience I've come to believe that older men who don't want to have children should stay away from younger women even though they think they are mature and know what they want, until they are in their 30s which is when they have had their opportunity at marriage and children.
Art_Critic Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 I'd love to know what she decided too... You out there stormy? Curt Stormy hasn't logged in in over a year.. She isn't around
loony Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 I agree that age is just a number. When I was 19 I dated a man in his 50s and we were together until I was 29. I am now 37. Given the fact that you were angry with him, because he ignored your youth an d naivety even though he should have known that you may not have possessed enough wisdom at that time to take a mature decision I doubt that "age is just a number". People who are in relationships where the age gap between them and their partner is really big, in my opinion do need to examine whether their feelings can be described as true love or if they do not stem from some daddy or mommy issue. I'm not saying that true love between two people of different age classes doesn't exist, but I'm inclined to say that often what these people call love masquerades deeper hidden motivations. Ok, now go ahead and throw your stones.
Fun2BMe Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 People who are in relationships where the age gap between them and their partner is really big, in my opinion do need to examine whether their feelings can be described as true love or if they do not stem from some daddy or mommy issue. That's an interesting observation. He was four months older than my father and I met him the same year I lost my father. After our relationship ended I started seeing someone who was coincidentally also much older than me and happened to have been 2 months older than my father. Now that you mention it, I might subconsciously have a tendency to compare men to my father who had given me a lot of attention and when these men weren't doting or concerned at all times with my whereabouts, safety, calling to check in and so on, I would (still do?!) question their love for me, get depressed and start feeling insecure and unloved. I think I still might act that way towards men but I had never compared relationships to my father. I don't know. Maybe it's all psychobabble.
Neptune Posted December 27, 2005 Posted December 27, 2005 I agree that age is just a number. When I was 19 I dated a man in his 50s Now, that`s what I`m talkin` bout:cool:
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