suladas Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I'm with you 100% on all points you've said: I thought me and my ex were above our friends who dated for three months and married because they felt it was time; we've seen a number of our married friends cheat on each other/ divorce because of it; so many miserable guys who put up with marriage and not even 25 yet. I wanted to be married, I guess I was the only one, and I think what's most frustrating is that I think I'd be great in that role, whereas all my friends were miserable before and hate it more so now. I pretend that it'll only make me better when I get to finally find a wife, but the whole thing seems like a sham now. When I go to my next wedding, I want you to come with me Tree; you can be my +1. I need a buddy to puke in the bushes with me. My sister is like that! She's been with her current bf like 5 months and is pressuring him to marry her, while his divorce isn't even finalized yet and he's like hell no, they moved in together after 2 months and she had to move 3 hours away with her 2 kids. She was engaged before that, and rushed into that too. I don't get it, I was with my ex for 2 months and we spent a lot of time together (a lot of their 2 months was long distance) and i'm like no dahm way would I even have ANY hint of moving in that quick. I don't know, i'm back and forth on marriage. I will definitely give it a shot one day, I know it. But at the same time i'd want to be living together for many years before that.
Drseussgrrl Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Hahaha. This thread has me cracking up. I've got one for you guys. Last year I was slated to be married on October 29. Three months before our wedding (which we had planned for a year) my fiance falls in love with his sister's wedding planner. He and I were in that wedding together. Our save the dates had gone out. My family's travel plans booked. EVERYTHING was set. Even our honeymoon booked. He called everything off and I was forced to move out of our home that we had built together over the previous four years. Say good-bye to his family I had loved so dearly. MOVE IN WITH ROOMMATES because it's so expensive here. Let me tell you it sucks ass going from being lady of the house to having ROOMMATES again in your 30's. Following that two of my best friends got married within months of each other. Of course I still had to go, but dateless. That was fun. Nobody to dance with/screw/get drunk with. I tried my damnedest to still be a good friend and have fun though. Well - within the last year, my ex has knocked up said wedding planner and they're now engaged. How 'bout them apples. 2
Author Tree_Salmon Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 Hahaha. This thread has me cracking up. I've got one for you guys. Last year I was slated to be married on October 29. Three months before our wedding (which we had planned for a year) my fiance falls in love with his sister's wedding planner. He and I were in that wedding together. Our save the dates had gone out. My family's travel plans booked. EVERYTHING was set. Even our honeymoon booked. He called everything off and I was forced to move out of our home that we had built together over the previous four years. Say good-bye to his family I had loved so dearly. MOVE IN WITH ROOMMATES because it's so expensive here. Let me tell you it sucks ass going from being lady of the house to having ROOMMATES again in your 30's. Following that two of my best friends got married within months of each other. Of course I still had to go, but dateless. That was fun. Nobody to dance with/screw/get drunk with. I tried my damnedest to still be a good friend and have fun though. Well - within the last year, my ex has knocked up said wedding planner and they're now engaged. How 'bout them apples. What a ballsack! Man, the stories here give me no hope for the human race. A good friend of mine has been with her current boyfriend for 8 months and withing that time he's moved here from another country and they are getting married in 2 months. Plus he's 14 years older than she is. I seriously don't get what people are thinking half the time. That's why marriage sucks so bad right now. I didn't even really think about marriage until my ex pushed it. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
Mike_d Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Save money for important things, like all the sex equipment to hang from the ceiling. niiiiice. Hi, how'ya doin? <flirt> 1
Author Tree_Salmon Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 niiiiice. Hi, how'ya doin? <flirt> Well, Mike, unless you're a shapely young female I don't think you're going to get far with me. But I do recommend such devices for all of your future sexual experiences. C'mon, who wouldn't want to marry me.
Mike_d Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 HAAA! that'll learn me to pay better attention, crawling back into my hole
I'm nuts Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 What a ballsack! Man, the stories here give me no hope for the human race. . How many years has it taken you to work that one out?
I'm nuts Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I seriously don't get what people are thinking half the time. That's why marriage sucks so bad right now. Never try to work out what is going on in the mind of another person as you will fail miserably, I knew a girl who one night would be talking to me asking for her hugs and kisses goodnight and a week later she is engaged :D oh it's hilarious. 1
Crila16 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Oh girlfriend...you are not alone. The girl that sits next to me just got married last weekend. I've been going through ups and downs with a guy I was dating...and during this same time had to listen to her all day plan her wedding, honeymoon and they're buying a house together. I'm just waiting for the baby news announcement. It actually makes me want to scream. I actually told the office manager I wanted to change desks, because her wedding talk was depressing me. Anyway...all I see are pregnant women in the subway and on the bus. That's depressing too. 1
Author Tree_Salmon Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 (edited) Oh girlfriend...you are not alone. The girl that sits next to me just got married last weekend. I've been going through ups and downs with a guy I was dating...and during this same time had to listen to her all day plan her wedding, honeymoon and they're buying a house together. I'm just waiting for the baby news announcement. It actually makes me want to scream. I actually told the office manager I wanted to change desks, because her wedding talk was depressing me. Anyway...all I see are pregnant women in the subway and on the bus. That's depressing too. Yeah, there's an influx of pregnant women everywhere. I don't necessarily see this as a positive thing for them to be honest. I bet my ex will be one soon. She was begging me for a kid after all. Also, I'm not a girl! Edited September 20, 2012 by Tree_Salmon
Crila16 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 LOL!!! I'm so sorry Tree Salmon. Oh boyfriend...I hear you. Is your ex with someone new? Why the breakup?
suladas Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I'm not jealous of the babies or buying a house together. I bought my own last year and bachelor life is AWESOME. But having someone to do things with, and talk to all the time is pretty good, just in a different way then friends.
Floored Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 Hahaha. This thread has me cracking up. I've got one for you guys. Last year I was slated to be married on October 29. Three months before our wedding (which we had planned for a year) my fiance falls in love with his sister's wedding planner. He and I were in that wedding together. Our save the dates had gone out. My family's travel plans booked. EVERYTHING was set. Even our honeymoon booked. He called everything off and I was forced to move out of our home that we had built together over the previous four years. Say good-bye to his family I had loved so dearly. MOVE IN WITH ROOMMATES because it's so expensive here. Let me tell you it sucks ass going from being lady of the house to having ROOMMATES again in your 30's. Following that two of my best friends got married within months of each other. Of course I still had to go, but dateless. That was fun. Nobody to dance with/screw/get drunk with. I tried my damnedest to still be a good friend and have fun though. Well - within the last year, my ex has knocked up said wedding planner and they're now engaged. How 'bout them apples. Those apples suck, remind me to never complain around you. Well, Mike, unless you're a shapely young female I don't think you're going to get far with me. Harsh man, give the guy a chance. Ever thought of playing the next inning for the other team? /what I tell my family when they ask if I'm dating anyone A lot of my friends getting married so young now just want a false sense of security, or maybe I'm just a bitter, old fart; I know some great married couples, but most have drifted apart as the years go on, cheated, etc. I honestly think my ex would have married me had I popped the question last year, but I don't think that would have changed her mindset/ life trajectory much; we'd still have run into trouble and I'd still probably get that horrible 'I screwed up' call, which would have turned out to be a much bigger mess. Dodged bullets, all of us. Right? Optimism Thursday?
Mike_d Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Also, I'm not a girl! SEE! I'm not the only one making that mistake lol
january2011 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 One sibling had a child earlier this year (first child). One sibling is due in a month (second child). My LTR ex had a child earlier this year (married and had a child with his ex within two years of our break-up). Other than acquaintances and those underage, I don't know a single person who is not married, pregnant or already has children. Welcome to the late 30s! So, yup, focusing on everything else. For example, making travel, study and social/leisure plans that aren't restricted by a live-in partner (my SO lives on another continent) and children/babies.
NoMoreJerks Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 I had to be the maid of honor at my sister's wedding 5 years ago. I was 24 back then. I'm glad it happened back then, and not now. It was depressing enough when I was 24 and still single, never having had a bf.. I can't imagine what it would've felt like if it had happened this year. Ouch. Luckily, she is not planning on having any babies any time soon. :S
Author Tree_Salmon Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 LOL!!! I'm so sorry Tree Salmon. Oh boyfriend...I hear you. Is your ex with someone new? Why the breakup? We were together for almost 6 years. I dumped her for good reasons, she tried to get back, i almost took her back but not quick enough so she started dating some rebound. Came back a few months later telling me she loves me and still wants me. Begged me to have sex with her and marry her. I refused. That's it in a nutshell. And that was 2 months ago. I've been complete NC for the last 2 months. Everyone getting married. Ridiculous.
thatone Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 So it's almost been two months of NC for me now. It seems that within these two months every one of my close friends has either become engaged or is having a kid. This is just the icing on my already "pissed off" cake. I know i shouldn't really care about it and I'm happy for them. I'm just pissed that my relationship had to get to this point. We were actually supposed to get married this upcoming year. I'm trying not to let this effect me but I seem to be at a stage where it's really bothering me. Every conversation I have with most people now revolves around their new marriage/baby plans. I find myself hanging out with new people just so I don't have to hear that stuff. How do I prevent this from bothering me? When will i not care anymore? when those same women/men are getting divorced after the last kid is in kindergarten because she f*cked a bartender or he f*cked his secretary. add in financial ruin and loss of all worldly possessions, season to taste.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 (edited) when those same women/men are getting divorced after the last kid is in kindergarten because she f*cked a bartender or he f*cked his secretary. add in financial ruin and loss of all worldly possessions, season to taste. Amen. I've seen those things happen. A good friend of mine lost EVERYTHING to this super bitch. And the best part is we all saw it coming a million miles away. They just want the kid. My generation is even worse, I can't wait to see the divorce rates in the next ten years. Edited September 21, 2012 by Tree_Salmon
Floored Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 Amen. I've seen those things happen. A good friend of mine lost EVERYTHING to this super bitch. And the best part is we all saw it coming a million miles away. They just want the kid. My generation is even worse, I can't wait to see the divorce rates in the next ten years. It will be quicker to just count the marriages that stay together.
lynntlb78 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Find humor in it. Well over half those marriages and commitments will be horribly broken and burned. Your pals are in for a world of pain and they don't even see it coming yet. Right now they're rubbing it in your face like it's some sort of accomplishment, but 2, maybe 5, maybe 10 years from now you'll be getting the last laugh. You'll still have your home, your car, and your job. And they'll have nothing. -evil laugh- I think this is a bit excessive. Everybody wants to love and be loved. And we'll jump in feet first even at the risk of losing it all. But I do agree with focusing on what accomplishments you do have....degrees, homes, car, job, great friends/family....I know I feel proud of that. At the very least.
lynntlb78 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Just pisses me off because I always thought of our relationship as better than most of these people. We were a really cool couple, I didn't think it would fall under the stereotypical bull. Right. I use to laugh out loud at how lucky I felt we were to have found each other. The scary part is once that happens how can you go into the next one feeling secure?
LostOne1 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Right. I use to laugh out loud at how lucky I felt we were to have found each other. The scary part is once that happens how can you go into the next one feeling secure? yeah same here.. I never thought I'd find a girl like my ex and when I did.. we both thought it was so unique and special. Just to see it end.. makes it all seem like where did we go wrong and how come we haven't tried to fix things.
lynntlb78 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Hahaha. This thread has me cracking up. I've got one for you guys. Last year I was slated to be married on October 29. Three months before our wedding (which we had planned for a year) my fiance falls in love with his sister's wedding planner. He and I were in that wedding together. Our save the dates had gone out. My family's travel plans booked. EVERYTHING was set. Even our honeymoon booked. He called everything off and I was forced to move out of our home that we had built together over the previous four years. Say good-bye to his family I had loved so dearly. MOVE IN WITH ROOMMATES because it's so expensive here. Let me tell you it sucks ass going from being lady of the house to having ROOMMATES again in your 30's. Following that two of my best friends got married within months of each other. Of course I still had to go, but dateless. That was fun. Nobody to dance with/screw/get drunk with. I tried my damnedest to still be a good friend and have fun though. Well - within the last year, my ex has knocked up said wedding planner and they're now engaged. How 'bout them apples. Painful. Likely, incredibly physically and emotionally painful. Brutal. As I mentioned to one poster in a private msg. It does hurt a tremendous amount to be left, but how it is done, and the process involved has a lot to do with the moving on. I dated and lived with someone for 7 years and I knew that it was going downhill. To the point that he said that he was truly sorry but that he didn't love me in "that way" anymore and that he had to leave so that the both of us could move on. Even though it hurt, it was far better closure than being lied to, led on, disrespected....nobody deserves that. Certainly not from someone that you loved and saw a future with. Its a complete blindside that leaves you with a million pieces of yourself to pick up off the floor while they've moved on with the blink of an eye. Brutal. And unfair.
LostOne1 Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 Painful. Likely, incredibly physically and emotionally painful. Brutal. As I mentioned to one poster in a private msg. It does hurt a tremendous amount to be left, but how it is done, and the process involved has a lot to do with the moving on. I dated and lived with someone for 7 years and I knew that it was going downhill. To the point that he said that he was truly sorry but that he didn't love me in "that way" anymore and that he had to leave so that the both of us could move on. Even though it hurt, it was far better closure than being lied to, led on, disrespected....nobody deserves that. Certainly not from someone that you loved and saw a future with. Its a complete blindside that leaves you with a million pieces of yourself to pick up off the floor while they've moved on with the blink of an eye. Brutal. And unfair. wow yeah that is tough.. jeez. That right there is much harder than what most of us are going through... I have respect for her going through it all and pushing it. I don't know how I'd live to handle all of it.
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