me and my ex still act like a couple

[johnc342345]

Hey everyone please any help with this matter would be greatly appreciated I've talked to this girl for 7 months straight we were like best friends i kept all my feeling in check though and never told her how i felt about her well she persued me for 7 months and we always hung out had such a blast together but she would always get mad at me cause i never told her i loved her i honestly didnt know what i had well the 6 month i started to really have feelings for this girl then the 7 month we argue cause she texted me saying you love me dont you and all i said was maybe well we dont text for 2-3 days keep in mind i had the i dont care attitude going on she deleted me from facebook then her friend tells me shes in a relationship it broke my heart well i freak out and my world falls apart i text her telling her finally how i really felt for a couple days then she starts responding with positive things well i ask her to come over and she does we pick up right where we left off with fun laughter and i tell her i do love her and want to be with her well she drops the other guy and we get together and shes always honest she told me he gave her the attention i didnt and she was honest and told me she did have sex with him that kinda hurt but i tried to get over it but its always in the back of my head well ever since that happened ive been in panic mode with her like i was too clingy showed i cared too much was checking up on her too much i didnt trust her the way i should have considering she wont even lie to her boss about why shes late for work but she started being more distant towards me her friends basically always came first and i was always last on her list she started acting like she didnt care action wise but her words always were that she loved me to death and never wanted to lose me well we talked about everything and i she kept wanting to take breaks not break up but breaks from seeing each other so much cause i was smothering her well i started to back off id give her her space and basically did everything she wanted me to do she says i always bitch if she cant see me and that i was too clingy so i did everything to back off and put my own insecurities aside so i told her that if you acted like you cared more then we would be a lot better well she saw that i changed and backed off well one day i get a text from her saying she cant do this anymore she doesnt want to be together anymore but she knows she doesnt want me out of her life forever and that she wants us to just take things slow and get back together one day . So i agree i do freak at first but i get my act together within like 2 mins after freaking out i play it cool and say ok well its been up and down ever since one day she'll text me all day long and act like shes totally in love with me then if i ask her the slighest question about if shes ok cause i sense shes in a bad mood she gets mad. well we start talking about kids cause her sister just had a baby and she texts me saying its crazy how much im gonna love our kids and actually wants to try and get pregnant with me well i ask her how is it you know that you want to have a kid with me but you dont know if you want to be back with me just yet she just said she doesnt know and we will see how it goes so i bite my lip and just say ok cause i really dont want to lose her . so i play it cool the next couple of days and she texts me telling me how much she loves and misses me and talking about the future together and she wants to see me her next day off so i see her and everything is great and we do have sex and it was unprotected cause she wanted to try and have a baby with me yeah i know stupid on my part well the next two days pass and everything is great i try to be the strong confident funny guy she fell in love with and it works she responded to it like she was crazy about me again and texted me saying i freaking love you and shes never said it like that before so she texts me while im at work and i wait about 30 min to text back and she texts again saying baby? then calls so i text her back and i said whats wrong she said she just misses me and that made my day she says hurry up and get off so i get off work and she says i'll be ready in a minute were gonna go for a walk through the park and its around 4 pm she never used to see me that early so i was like wow she does actually care so we get together and im in a good mood happy joking and she says i feel like your gonna be super annoying today she jokes about my clothes saying you dont live up to your potential looks wise i said im not gonna dress up nice just to go for a walk in the park then she in a joking way mentions other things that hurts and i asked are you being serious or joking and she said my god baby im joking see i cant even joke with you anymore you take everything serious now i said yeah that was before you ripped my heart out so we go in the bank and were joking still and she says something else well i say then just be done with me forever and she jokes and says i tried but you wouldnt let me now that even though she says she was joking it ripped my heart out so on the way home i try to relax again and joke and i ask her whats wrong she got mad so i shut up and said i dont know why but you stress me out so bad i dont know what it is . and i said you dont think im stressed out by you? im stressed out all the time with the way you treat me but i love you enough to suck it up and endure she just smiled. well we get back to her house and we cook a pizza and she keeps saying shes tired and says shes gonna probably try and lay down after we eat and that i should go well that kinda hurt and i gave her a dirty look but in a joking way and she goes see this is what i mean you bitch about everything i said no im just joking babe well her mood is ruined basically the rest of the day so i end up staying there with her till about 9 at night we have sex 2 times unprotected again i know its stupid on my part. but afterwards she says are you leaving now i said well it would be nice to lay with you a bit and saw that she was getting mad so i did end up leaving but she never ever wanted me to leave that early before she said we saw each other all day so i said ok im gonna go i love you she said i love you too . well i leave and we text some and she says she gonna go to bed i say ok and i cant sleep cause i feel like i ruined it again with her and i see her up and on facebook till 4 am well i dont say anything she texts the next day saying hi baby like she had been doing but her mood was different towards me she wasnt all mushy i love you and miss you stuff . well she tells me shes going to bed again super early with is not like her cause shes a night owl well i respect her wishes again and let her go we say our i love you's and thats that well through out the night again shes up on facebook at 4 am i text her saying ''though you were going to bed'' she ignored the text and added me to her restricted list on facebook to where i cant see anything shes doing now let alone her profile well she doesnt text me anymore so i texted her yesterday saying hey are you ok you quit talking to me again no reply then texted her saying babe? no reply then i got mad and said why arent you talking tell me something damn! she finally texted saying hey i said hi is everything ok with us babe she said i guess i said you still love me right and she says yeah so i think everything is ok and i asked if what i said the other night made her mad and she said it did irritate her and i said sorry i didnt mean for it to sound the way it did i was only worried about her cause she has problems sometimes breathing at night cause she has real bad anxiety and she understood so i said but you didnt have to go and make your facebook totally private lol all she wrote back was lol with a smiley face and i asked if she was working she said yeah and i said do i need to let you go she said yeah ttyl love you i said love you too so i sent her a song on facebook through a message and texted her telling her about it and no reply to anything she didnt text me any last night when she got off work or today before work and im worried i may have messed it up for good but she has done this before and after cooling off she usually texts me and misses me . now ive been great to her and always treated her well and have been there when she needed me but she hasnt always treated me the best and i have been a doormat at times . what do i do? i mean im miserable without her and want her to come back to me and it seemed like she was going to the other day but then the smallest concern i show for her or if i dont watch what i say she does this . i dont want to lose her forever but i cant do this much more with her not knowing what she wants i mean we still talk hangout and act like a couple but were not official i'd do anything in the world for this girl and i think she knows it but shes immature about a lot of stuff she says she loves me but has a hard time showing it she says she loves me but the smallest thing i do and she doesnt talk to me or doesnt want to be back with me she does have a mild case of depression and major anxiety that she wont take medicine for i just dont know what to do i dont text her now unless she texts me first and when she does text first we get along great and i try to be confident and not needy or clingy with her and try to play it cool but im at my breaking point especially since she basically blocked me from facebook without unfriending me any help with this situation would be greatly appreciated sorry for the long post i just wanted to give you as much information i can so you can have a better understanding of the situation

[johnc342345]

please someone help me out with this she hasnt made any contact with me today at all and just a week ago i we actually got back to where she was texting me on her break at work just cause she missed me but today she was on break and sat on facebook messenger for 10 plus minutes which now has me worried she may be talking to another guy now anyone please help me out do i tell her i cant do this anymore and break all contact with her in hopes that she'll snap out of whatever shes going through and come back?

[geegirl]

I think you are not getting responses because it's long, you need to break it up in paragraphs and you need to use punctuation. Your first sentence is about 20 lines long. It's difficult to read.

[johnc342345]

I apologize i reposted this in paragraph form sorry again