Is There a Chance with This Couple?

[youaretheone]

I don't know if this is the right place to ask this but here we go:

 

I am 24. I recently moved in with an unmarried couple, in their 30's. I rented their room and will be living at their place for 6 months. The guy is 29 and the woman is 37. They are cool people and very easy going.

 

It's always been my greatest fantasy to have threesome with a couple or with a woman when the husband or boyfriend is watching. I've seen many couples doing that but never had a chance to explore it myself.

 

Maybe it's a fantasy I am making up in my head, but I get the feeling that this couple has some intentions to do that. I got some signs that they are testing the waters with me but I cannot be very sure:

 

- When I am visiting their apartment for the first time, the guy asks me how old I am and when I tell them my age, he says "That's a good age for you, huh? Does that work?" and winks at her. She smiles in return.

- We are having a welcome dinner one night and I ask them how long they have been together. The girlfriend says they have known each other for seven years but she is bored of him and wants a younger guy. He says he will go for an older woman soon. They both add they love changing partners and trying new people. They say these in a teasing way but also sound very serious at the same time. I smile innocently and say "Oh, I am having new flatmates soon!" and they both laugh at it.

- They are very open about sex terms. I've heard them making jokes next to me, involving the words "ass, balls, penis, lesbian, gay".

 

It's only been a week and I am not sure if I should bring my hopes up or not. I am ok with just enjoying them as my flatmates and leaving the place happily but at the same time, I wouldn't want to miss an opportunity to spend some exciting evenings with them during these 6 months if they are up for it.

 

As you might guess, I am afraid of bringing it up, risking losing my only accomodation here and screwing up with their relationship.

 

I can understand that this could sound weird and unusual for some people here but I would like some advice on how to handle this situation without looking like a pervert who is after banging a guy's girlfriend. Please do not bother replying if you are gonna give me ethics lessons about how wrong it is to have an eye on a taken woman. I won't do that unless they want it to happen.

Edited September 18, 2012 by youaretheone

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Dear Penthouse,

 

I am a 24 year old woman freshly out of college and getting my feet wet in the world.......along with other parts of my body........

 

OP, you kind of already look like a perv. But it sounds like you are in good company. How about you test the waters too and say salcious things back and see how they respond?

 

To me, this whole situation is a little incestious but if you are really interested in doing this, I am not going to tell you not to. Just remember that real people, real emotions, real sex is a lot more complicated then playful teasing and fantasies.

[CaptJay]

Don't sh*t where you eat. One of the best pieces of advice that I've ever gotten.

 

You are running a huge risk on many different levels. If the couple is not interested, the best case would be to get thrown out of where you live. The worst case could be a physically painful jealous rage aimed at you.

 

I think fantasies are healthy, but not at the expense of your well being. If you'd like to pursue something like this, DO NOT do it with folks that you live with, or even that you know that well.

 

cj

[CarrieT]

If you are only planning on living their for six months and it is something that you all want, I'd wait until month #5 before pursuing it.

 

That way, if it doesn't work, you'll only have a few weeks of dealing with the drama before you are out of there anyway.

 

And if it does work, you'll have great friends/playmates you can go back and visit without screwing up the living dynamic.

[RogerWallace111]

Why do people reply without even acknowledging what the ****ing OP actually said.

 

"Dont **** where you eat" huh ??? If the quotes from his flatmates don't make it look at least 80% clear that they are looking for some "action" then you're not wrapping your brain around them. No couple in their right mind, who weren't somewhat open to the idea, would ever say that sort of ****.

 

If you're into it, have another dinner/evening with them, do some drinking, be a bit flirtatious back, and see what happens. Don't boldly jump the gun but I don't think you have to be too cautious if they're already saying that sort of risque **** to you...

[SmileFace]

Umm, just make sure you don't start with one of them wjth the other not knowing since that may be bad.

[CaptJay]

Why do people reply without even acknowledging what the ****ing OP actually said.

 

"Dont **** where you eat" huh ??? If the quotes from his flatmates don't make it look at least 80% clear that they are looking for some "action" then you're not wrapping your brain around them. No couple in their right mind, who weren't somewhat open to the idea, would ever say that sort of ****.

 

If you're into it, have another dinner/evening with them, do some drinking, be a bit flirtatious back, and see what happens. Don't boldly jump the gun but I don't think you have to be too cautious if they're already saying that sort of risque **** to you...

 

Thank you for critiquing my feedback. I assure you that I have my "head around this" just fine, however. OP said he was looking for "how to handle the situation," with the previous paragraph stating that he does not want to screw-up the couple's relationship or lose his living arrangement.

 

"Don't sh*t where you eat" essentially refers to not doing anything that would jeopardize something important or essential to you. For example, dating coworkers isn't the smartest move to make because of the possiblity of breaking-up and still having to work with somebody, and dating a female roommate is similar. All it takes is a break-up to start fights, feed jealousy, etc. That's why people shouldn't ...

 

"Flirt and see what happens?" Hey, I'm all for that - WHEN YOU DON'T LIVE WITH THE PEOPLE with whom a completely awkward relationship will ensue.

 

In to it or not, there is a greater chance that this will backfire and possibly leave OP homeless, beaten-up, or worse. Unless these people have a habit of doing this, nobody (including them) knows how they will react after the deeds are done. If you can't get your "head around" the fact that there is objective wisdom and a legitimate heads-up that can really mess things up for all three here, then such is life.

[irin]

sorry bad situation, unless you happy to be homeless at anytime.

 

you never know, the mood may change in seconds, from big orgy to jealous rage.

 

these things are usually best done with stranger that you wont be around afterwards.

[crystal_lite]

Have you ever watch the ID Channel? Investigation discovery? Hahah jealous rage after orgy not good. Or getting thrown out not good. How about if they both want it, ask them to slip a note to you or something.

[RogerWallace111]

Thank you for critiquing my feedback. I assure you that I have my "head around this" just fine, however. OP said he was looking for "how to handle the situation," with the previous paragraph stating that he does not want to screw-up the couple's relationship or lose his living arrangement.

 

"Don't sh*t where you eat" essentially refers to not doing anything that would jeopardize something important or essential to you. For example, dating coworkers isn't the smartest move to make because of the possiblity of breaking-up and still having to work with somebody, and dating a female roommate is similar. All it takes is a break-up to start fights, feed jealousy, etc. That's why people shouldn't ...

 

"Flirt and see what happens?" Hey, I'm all for that - WHEN YOU DON'T LIVE WITH THE PEOPLE with whom a completely awkward relationship will ensue.

 

In to it or not, there is a greater chance that this will backfire and possibly leave OP homeless, beaten-up, or worse. Unless these people have a habit of doing this, nobody (including them) knows how they will react after the deeds are done. If you can't get your "head around" the fact that there is objective wisdom and a legitimate heads-up that can really mess things up for all three here, then such is life.

 

 

Sorry, bud, it struck me that you felt like throwing out some "no-no!" advice for the hell of it, as you seem to have ignored certain facts stated. Seems you interpreted his question as "should I **** my flatmate's girlfriend ?" And if that were the question I'd completely agree with you. But that isn't at all the situation he's describing.

 

From the **** they've said to him it sounds like they're at least somewhat into "swinging" or **** of that nature. Unless they have some seriously strange resentment/anger toward eachother, or crazy senses of humor, who would say to his girlfriend "that young enough for ya?" and wink at her? Or them telling him "they love changing partners and trying new people"... Maybe you read that differently than me. I read it as "they love changing partners and trying new people". And of course they say it in a "teasing but serious sounding" way, they're not gonna sit him down and sternly debrief him on their sexual tendencies like it's the ****in military. Pretty clear what theyre after, I must say.

 

I guess I can't completely rule out the possibility that it's some sort of gag where they pretend to be swingers & make these playful, suggestive, yet very to-the-point remarks about her liking young guys & them "loving" to switch partners. And that he might say something of the same nature back to them and they give him a "what the **** are you saying you pervert ?" response. And the guy would proceed to kick his ass, and he'd be homeless. But I just don't see it as likely.

 

Not trying to be a smartass but shiiit, can you really disagree with any of the above ?

Edited September 19, 2012 by RogerWallace111

[CaptJay]

Sorry, bud, it struck me that you felt like throwing out some "no-no!" advice for the hell of it, as you seem to have ignored certain facts stated. Seems you interpreted his question as "should I **** my flatmate's girlfriend ?" And if that were the question I'd completely agree with you. But that isn't at all the situation he's describing.

 

From the **** they've said to him it sounds like they're at least somewhat into "swinging" or **** of that nature. Unless they have some seriously strange resentment/anger toward eachother, or crazy senses of humor, who would say to his girlfriend "that young enough for ya?" and wink at her? Or them telling him "they love changing partners and trying new people"... Maybe you read that differently than me. I read it as "they love changing partners and trying new people". And of course they say it in a "teasing but serious sounding" way, they're not gonna sit him down and sternly debrief him on their sexual tendencies like it's the ****in military. Pretty clear what theyre after, I must say.

 

I guess I can't completely rule out the possibility that it's some sort of gag where they pretend to be swingers & make these playful, suggestive, yet very to-the-point remarks about her liking young guys & them "loving" to switch partners. And that he might say something of the same nature back to them and they give him a "what the **** are you saying you pervert ?" response. And the guy would proceed to kick his ass, and he'd be homeless. But I just don't see it as likely.

 

Not trying to be a smartass but shiiit, can you really disagree with any of the above ?

 

Hey bro, no worries. I think we both missed each other's points initially, but it's all good and I apologize as well.

 

You're right, I can't really disagree at all with what looks like 100% willingness for the couple to engage with OP. And I'm not against it morally or ethically since all 3 would be willing participants.

 

Hey OP... let us know how this all works out! Good luck and all the best!

 

cj

[RogerWallace111]

^ Yeah hehe sorry i got into douchebag debate mode. It's just that the tendency on here is so often for people to reprimand the OP, jump to the worst possible conclusion, etc. Often seeming to do so without giving it any real unbiased contemplation. Lots of bitterness and negativity ! Not saying that **** about you, just explaining the root of my defensive standpoint. I'm just escaping from work for a few minutes here and there, entertaining myself with the pretty interesting stories that end up on here...

 

Anyway, yes, let's hope we hear what happens !

[2sure]

This kind of thing ends up awkward more often than not, so whatever you do or dont do...take CarrieT's advice and wait until you are almost ready to move out. Then tell them briefly (because it isnt true) about a previous 3some experience you were invited to and sometimes regret not doing.