ddlovexx Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 (edited) Hey there, So last night my boyfriend said there was an emergency, and unfortunately left me in the dark until this afternoon. He kept saying he couldn't tell me and all that kind of stuff, and it hurt so bad not knowing what was going on and if he was okay or not. He said he had to tell me in person, so he came over today. Apparently his ex called his mother claiming that my boyfriend is the father of her 4-month old son. She cheated on him AND got pregnant after they broke up... so there's a good chance that he isn't the father but we won't know for another 3 days. This was over a year ago. His parents also don't think it's likely that he is the father, though the time frames don't match up really, there is always that chance. Now, I am extremely relieved because I was expecting the worst (cancer or something of the likes... this was a big deal)... but I'm still kind of upset. I told him that it was killing me that he tried to keep it from me but a) He didn't want to upset me without proof that he was the father and b) He thought I was going to leave him when he told me. He said that if it's his, he has no intentions of trying to be with her or even contact her other than anything related to the child, so I'm not really worried about him leaving me. They broke up for a reason. Nor do I plan to leave him. This is tough but I want to be with him and I will always be there for him and support him no matter what he is going through, and I especially think he needs that now more than ever. I guess since it's so fresh and uncertain, I don't know how to cope. Part of me is really understanding and okay just because I'm relieved he is okay physically. The other part of me is jealous and hurt and upset that he might have a kid with this other woman. It's also going to be financially strenuous and any money he had saved away for our future will now go to the kid. I'm a bit upset about that and I know that sounds selfish, but at the end of the day I know the kid deserves the money for his future. I'm trying to be okay. I'm trying not to think so much because it isn't concrete information yet. I'm not mad at him, (although his parents are giving him a hard time even though he is 24) I guess I'm just upset... which is normal. He knows this is hard for me too and I'm trying to deal, but I don't want him to be stressed out more than he is. He's upset about missing 4 months of the kid's life if it is his... but he was most upset because he thought I was going to walk away. The bottom line is that no matter what that test says in 3 days, I will be there for him. How do I deal with this if he is the father? I'm not sure there's any way to prepare. Edited September 18, 2012 by ddlovexx
Balzac Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 How old are you? I'm not sure you have known this guy long enough to make a frisking about standing by him. Your relationship seems to be measured in months. This is a lot of drama, I'm unclear why you were told anything until a positive DNA test result was in hand. Very odd. 1
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