phasmif Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Can it possibly work? Am thinking hes being hesitant to get involved despite us getting close because of this. Or maybe hes happy with that as security blanket
LittleTiger Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Are you able to give us more details? It is very difficult to make any kind of comment based on so little information.
justwhoiam Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Can it possibly work? Am thinking hes being hesitant to get involved despite us getting close because of this. Or maybe hes happy with that as security blanket Like he's 20 and you're 40? There's a 0.0001% chance that it can work, yes. With LD inbetween. Your mature age a security blanket? I can't see a 20 year old girl as a security blanket.
Author phasmif Posted September 18, 2012 Author Posted September 18, 2012 I meant as in the distance means he is secure flirting. I am thirty and he in his fifties. We have mutual friends and talk every day. He has sent gifts in the past and we get along like a house on fire however no effort has been made to take things further. We do both work long hours.
TMichaels Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 Why beat around the bush or use a Quija Board. Why don't you just come out and ask him what exactly he hopes will be the outcome of your relationship? Best, TMichaels
Author phasmif Posted September 19, 2012 Author Posted September 19, 2012 Every time I approach the subject he clams up a little. Last night we talked for a long time.. He also hinted he wanted a relationship but am wondering if these factors are holding him back.
TMichaels Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 Every time I approach the subject he clams up a little. Last night we talked for a long time.. He also hinted he wanted a relationship but am wondering if these factors are holding him back. If he's 40 and doesn't know what he wants or can't verbalize it, then you'll have more serious issues than just a 20-year age difference to deal with. Don't beat around the bush. Ask him outright. If he comes back with more airy-fairy non-answers then tell him you'd prefer to be in a relationship with someone who is truly serious about you and then move on. Best, TMichaels
justwhoiam Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 If he's 40 and doesn't know what he wants or can't verbalize it, then you'll have more serious issues than just a 20-year age difference to deal with. She's 30, he's over 50. I guess the age gap is like 25 years? Does he have kids? His kids might be older than her. Such relationships seldom work, unless your name is Michael Douglas or Tom Cruise, and even then, you see how they end up after a while...
Author phasmif Posted September 19, 2012 Author Posted September 19, 2012 We both have two children. We did talk a little today and he says he has fallen for me but is wirried how things would turn out.
FitChick Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 He probably worries you'll get pregnant. If you've had your tubes tied, then tell him. Men that age don't want to start over.
TMichaels Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 He probably worries you'll get pregnant. If you've had your tubes tied, then tell him. Men that age don't want to start over. Sure... *he could* be worried about her getting pregnant. But, there's a lot more to the story than what was posted originally here. Turns out that the OP is in her late 20s and this guy is in his 50s. Both have kids and both are separated. "His banter is often sexual and flirtatious." Even though they have mutual friends they have been talking online six months and the guy sends her voice messages throughout the day. He also sent her some sort of expensive but practical gift "that he knew would help her out." They fall asleep talking to each other and the conversations are personal. But every time the conversation turns to anything serious, as in what's the game plan *between them* he's evasive and expresses concern "about how things would work out." They live 250 miles apart. She doesn't say if the two of them have ever met in person. Not sure why very little of the above was shared here, but it was elsewhere... Best, TMichaels
Author phasmif Posted September 20, 2012 Author Posted September 20, 2012 Thank you for adding details - my phone lost my post twice!
FitChick Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 In light of the new details, just maintain a fantasy relationship, get a divorce and concentrate on your kids.
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