blue_jay_bird Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 I love him. Because he has made a big mistake, and he just doesn't know it yet. Why are you still holding on to your ex?
BooBoo1982 Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 I love him. Because he has made a big mistake, and he just doesn't know it yet. Why are you still holding on to your ex? What big mistake did he make?
bluefairy812 Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 i still hold on because my heart is stupid. my heart is in denail... maybe that makes me stupid? something keeps telling me he is coming back.. idk if its hope. idk if its something bigger than me. but, the facts are black and white... he told me straight out he is not in love, doesn't see a future, and that he sees me as a friend. he told me he will always love and care for me. it sucks. i keep hoping, praying, thinking, imagining, wondering and obsessing. it's not worth it though, it's a roadblock.. hope is a roadblock!
Calico Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Yes, hope is the glue, it's what gets you stuck. 1
DuchessKaye Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Because we make the decision to hold on. We hope things will change. We desire not to let them go. We choose to be miserable and hurting while we know they are already moved on. Everyone has a choice in life.
KatZee Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Hold on also shows your character as well. It shows that you don't think you deserve better. It shows that you don't think you're worth anything more than what he has to offer. It shows a lack of self-esteem. YOU CAN do better than your ex.
stemac Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Because love is stronger then anything, and you cant switch it off, I break my Heart everyday knowing i love the person who has put me in this blackness i cant seem to fine my way out:( that's why we hold on "love"
Sav Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Simple~ we refuse to step out of our comfort zone
DuchessKaye Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 And we're afraid we can't/won't find someone better. But when we finally meet that one who will make us forget how effed up we were in the past by making us feel how we really matter and how much we deserve better, we'll realize how much time we've wasted by holding on to those exes who don't deserve anything from us. 1
Author blue_jay_bird Posted September 18, 2012 Author Posted September 18, 2012 What big mistake did he make? Leaving an amazing, attractive woman. He thinks he's better then me. He thinks he can do better. He's in for a rude awaking, when realizes, long term relationship involve communication rather then tossing aside someone that they consider not "perfect" anymore. 2
sweetheart5381 Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 I think people hold on for a number of different reasons, depending on length of the relationship, strength of the bond, stage of relationship, etc. I personally feel that I held on to my last ex for a period of time because I just could not accept the fact that our relationship was not as wonderful as I believed it to be. I had a fantasy in my mind that would not die. That's all it was though, a fantasy. I also held onto the image that he was an absolutely wonderful guy, even though deep down I knew he did not hang the moon and wasn't very nice at all. Once I came to terms with the truth (he treated me terribly one last time), admitted to myself I was wrong and with the help of NC, I found acceptance very easy. 1
Calico Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 Because love is stronger then anything, and you cant switch it off I think what most of us do is "addictive clinging" rather than love. Love would be if we were happy that they are happy, regardless of how we feel, but I can't pull that off. Not yet anyway, still too fresh, way too much pain in the picture still. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 For me, there are multiple reasons: 1) am madly in love with him. 2) he was my first boyfriend. 3) lost my virginity to him. #2 and #3 make it even more difficult. #1 is the main reason. Deep down, I still hope that he really didn't mean it when we broke up, that he is thinking about it and will change his mind. But he also has a big ego, I think, and will never ask me to come back. Maybe if we see each other somewhere, and he still wants me, he will say something and I can make it easier for him to say it, but otherwise, it's not going to happen. Still, the hope is there, because I can't imagine life without him. My life has become meaningless. It's not that I think I won't find anyone else, or anyone better. It's that I DON'T want to find anyone else. I want HIM.
NoMoreJerks Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 Leaving an amazing, attractive woman. He thinks he's better then me. He thinks he can do better. He's in for a rude awaking, when realizes, long term relationship involve communication rather then tossing aside someone that they consider not "perfect" anymore. Yup. My ex is in for a rude awakening also. Especially that he's so resentful that a lot of women are gold-diggers. I never even expected him to pay for my meals, from day 1. Got him a present on his birthday, even when his parents didn't. Did everything to make him happy and not to displease him. Maybe he wanted a gold-digger after all. Maybe he doesn't give a damn. Some people just love being used, even if they say they dislike it. He claimed his ex'es were controlling bitches. I never was, and he treated me worse than he treated them (they dumped him; he dumped me).
esstea Posted September 19, 2012 Posted September 19, 2012 I'm over my ex boyfriend now and am in a happy new relationship, BUT it took probably an entire year to get over my boyfriend fully, and the reason why I was probably "holding" on to him was because I missed the feelings of familiarity and our comfort with eachother. Kind of scared that I'd never find those same feelings with anyone else. BUT.. I was wrong. Time really does change things. It's amazing how blind sighted feelings could make you.
pathetic1999 Posted September 20, 2012 Posted September 20, 2012 I think people hold on for a number of different reasons, depending on length of the relationship, strength of the bond, stage of relationship, etc. I personally feel that I held on to my last ex for a period of time because I just could not accept the fact that our relationship was not as wonderful as I believed it to be. I had a fantasy in my mind that would not die. That's all it was though, a fantasy. I also held onto the image that he was an absolutely wonderful guy, even though deep down I knew he did not hang the moon and wasn't very nice at all. Once I came to terms with the truth (he treated me terribly one last time), admitted to myself I was wrong and with the help of NC, I found acceptance very easy. THIS! Except I am working on the last part.
sweetheart5381 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 For me, there are multiple reasons: 1) am madly in love with him. 2) he was my first boyfriend. 3) lost my virginity to him. #2 and #3 make it even more difficult. #1 is the main reason. Deep down, I still hope that he really didn't mean it when we broke up, that he is thinking about it and will change his mind. But he also has a big ego, I think, and will never ask me to come back. Maybe if we see each other somewhere, and he still wants me, he will say something and I can make it easier for him to say it, but otherwise, it's not going to happen. Still, the hope is there, because I can't imagine life without him. My life has become meaningless. It's not that I think I won't find anyone else, or anyone better. It's that I DON'T want to find anyone else. I want HIM. You will find another my dear. I swear Your life will go on... it is forever changing and you are growing and changing Hope in itself is a beautiful thing, don't ever feel bad for hoping. There is also a time and a place for everything and we cannot place all our hopes and dreams on one specific moment in time. Things change, life is dynamic. You will be madly in love again, trust me. Number 2 and 3 won't matter when that happens
sweetheart5381 Posted September 21, 2012 Posted September 21, 2012 THIS! Except I am working on the last part. NC is a bitch... it's the final frontier imo. It is the complete severing of the "relationship" but you have to see in certain terms. If he/she severed it with a breakup then it is far better to completely sever the ties. Trust me, am 37, I know the drill. Listen to your elders here NC will allow you to move on. Without it, you will be stuck in a crappy place, a mix between hope and hopelessness. YOU deserve better than that.
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