penny_lane Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Hi everybody! Your advice would really be appreciated I'll try and keep it as short as i can! Basically I met this guy a couple of year ago at a festival. We had an instant spark, we had an amazing time together and have kept in touch ever since. We're into all the same things and I knew I'd met someone i'd want to know for life. We suggested meeting up again before but it just never happened, never got round to it. we've both just got on with our lives as we live reletively far apart (about 2 hours/100 miles away). I've always liked him, and i know he liked me, but ive never been sure in what way. Especially as sometimes we'd go without talking for months, then when we talk again, its like only yesterday. Recently we have been talking alot more again and are planning to meet up. the conversation started to get deep though. I honestly had a funny feeling in me , so i said 'do you ever get that feeling you want to say something but you can't...' , he then said 'i guess you read my mind' . He then started opening up, which is really unlike him. He's got a loud personality, but in reality i think he's a bit shy. Anyway he said he was stuck for words and we went a while without saying anything... Then he was like ' i just need to stop running away from my feelings and see where it takes me' . He was hesitating and said ' sorry i find it hard to open up, i need your help a bit haha' then he finally said ' ...i think i love you ' . Theres a specific song that we met with at the festival he said it always reminds him of me (which i think of him too) and he can't stop thinking about me. I was shocked when he said he thought he loved me, because i really feel the same too. Theres always just been 'that spark' there. But in my opinion never the right timing and also because sometimes there'd be periods without talking i thought he might not like me in that way. Is this the time to go for it now, now he has said that? my only issue is do you think he really means it? I've had trust issues since my past bad relationship so i can't tell. I'd just like an outsiders point of view if possible! Thanks guys
FitChick Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Sounds like a past life connection. Why don't you move closer to him or him to you or split the difference?
EasyHeart Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Was he sleeping and right in the middle of a good dream all at once he woke up from something that kept knocking at his brain? 1
Author penny_lane Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 thanks for all the advice guys I just wanted to give an update on this because i am so confused. Since he said all these feelings. He's been distant. How can you say you love someone and confess all these things, then turn around and not talk to them?! im honestly losing my mind here. I would have thought if he really meant it, he'd at least be contacting me to meet me again by now? but he's not. Also he'll say he will call and he doesnt. only when he wants too. I just don't get whats going on. I know he said before that he runs away from his feelings and finds it hard to open up but this is like ridiculous now and im starting to give up! BUT then one day i got 5 missed calls from him. The next day he messaged me online and he was like 'yeh im fine, but upset you didnt answer yesterday' then he went on to say ' i couldnt sleep and had been thinking bout you. i wanted to talk' and then I have to admit I was a bit off with him just because of the way he'd been treating me before so I was a bit closed with my answers. Then all of a sudden he just said 'fine, i'll go away then' then went offline!! he is so hot and cold its unbelievable. So my question is, is it really what he said, that he does love me (because i didnt initiate any of this he just came out with it one day and i said i felt the same) . Does he really have feelings for me but is just scared or something?... Or does he really not care and should i give up. If so why did he say all this stuff?!
Titania22 Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 I could be wrong, but it sounds like he doesn't feel you are reciprocating his feelings. If you have feelings for him, you should perhaps try to be more expressive (at least once, to see his reaction to it). I know when I have feelings for someone, and they are not giving me a clear indication if they do or don't reciprocate, it messes me up, like how you are describing the behaviour of this guy.
Author penny_lane Posted October 15, 2012 Author Posted October 15, 2012 but ive clearly said to him that i feel the same way and that I'd like to make it work and that i want to be with him. thats why it's so weird.....
xpaperxcutx Posted October 15, 2012 Posted October 15, 2012 Sorry, as much as I love fairy tales and happy endings I don't believe a guy can actually " love" a woman until he's dated her enough to know she's the one. Also, what has he done recently to prove that he's a man capable of your love? Aside from the occasional messagings back and forth, I don't see much effort being employed to make you his. Afterall, words are cheap, and if I had a dollar for everytime a man says he loves a woman over text or im, I'd be a millionairess.
Author penny_lane Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 (edited) I do agree with you 'papercut' But at the same time we met the other week, and the spark was there, we had the best time and we are seeing each other again next week. However he does still in my opinion make no effort, i feel like its all me but i know he's really shy so i give him the benefit of the doubt but how far do i go, is it really shyness? is it not knowing what he wants? and the other day we spoke on the phone for bout 2 hours and it was lovely, but he just CANNOT talk about his feelings and i find it so frustrating! He just stammers and even said that he was sweating and that his mouth was dry hahaha. Why does he get like this with me?! Edited November 8, 2012 by penny_lane
Leigh 87 Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 How far away do you live? I find it hard to imagine not talking daily to a person I loved.... Why doesn't he contact you daily, just a simple call? Sound like he is either to confused about what to do, or he may not need to talk to you that much?
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