Do women take their attractiveness for granted?

[jakelongot]

The media and society conditions us to desire the female form. Her beauty, her sexuality.

 

Obviously there are some women who desired more than others, but in general women are fawned or lusted over much more than men.

 

Now maybe this part is just a product of men being the hunters and women being the choosers, but women seem to be much more descriminate and have a higher degrees of standards for a male suitor than vice versa.

 

Whether it is money, success or looks men seem to have to qualify themselves to women, while for the most part a woman must only be somewhat attractive to have the eye of at least a few guys.

 

So my question is, do women take for granted their attractiveness? How well would they do if the roles were reversed? If men were the objects of desire in society and the media?

 

Do you think if women weren't as desired they would have as high of standards for their mates?

[jobaba]

The media and society conditions us to desire the female form. Her beauty, her sexuality.

 

Obviously there are some women who desired more than others, but in general women are fawned or lusted over much more than men.

 

Now maybe this part is just a product of men being the hunters and women being the choosers, but women seem to be much more descriminate and have a higher degrees of standards for a male suitor than vice versa.

 

Whether it is money, success or looks men seem to have to qualify themselves to women, while for the most part a woman must only be somewhat attractive to have the eye of at least a few guys.

 

So my question is, do women take for granted their attractiveness? How well would they do if the roles were reversed? If men were the objects of desire in society and the media?

 

Do you think if women weren't as desired they would have as high of standards for their mates?

 

I think most people who have a physical advantage in the dating game take it for granted, male or female.

[USMCHokie]

I think most people who have a physical advantage in the dating game take it for granted, male or female.

 

Most people who have any kind of advantage will likely take it for granted, because to them, it's not an advantage...it's just the way it is to them...

[Janesays]

Maybe their looks are irrelevant to them because they are keenly aware that they will get old and ugly someday. Maybe it's STRESSFUL to learn that, according to society, you decline in personal 'value' every year you're alive. Maybe some woman are hoping to find someone who loves them for them instead of lusts after their looks. Lust is fleeting, true love of one's soul and inner character has a better chance at lasting forever.

[monkey00]

So my question is, do women take for granted their attractiveness? How well would they do if the roles were reversed? If men were the objects of desire in society and the media?

 

I don't think they actually take for granted their attractiveness. Even on many occasions average looking women get hit on frequently. I'd say if anything, they take for granted the situations they are given (such as the frequency of men hitting on them or asking them out).

 

Men are not as sexualized as women are in the media. But perhaps the right question you should be asking if gender roles were reversed, what would occur?

 

Do you think if women weren't as desired they would have as high of standards for their mates?

 

Yes. Speaking from personal experience through people I know - female co-workers and friends. Some are in their late 20's and early 30's. They do go on dates frequently with men, and often with men they are not attracted to. Soon after they return to the office and I hear them complain about it and calling them creepy. One of them is a serial online dater who has been doing it for 1+ year.

 

The thing that boggles my mind as to why they are still single is clearly the reason because they are uber picky in the dating scene... They are average looking women also. Again this goes back what I said about the frequency and high rate of guys hitting on them. When you live in a big city it's quite common for women actually. Sad though because there are many single and lonely people in the city.

[insertnamehere]

Maybe their looks are irrelevant to them because they are keenly aware that they will get old and ugly someday.

 

Downright laughable.

 

In my experience, attractive women think life is golden right up until they hit the wall and their youth is gone. They think everyone else just needs to buck up and have a positive attitude. Then one day between the ages of 25 and 40 (varies) they cease to have sexual market value and reality comes crashing in. And then they suddenly figure out why life had been so easy for them.

 

Worse, a few of these women just become deranged and spend their 40s freaking out about everything and trolling every possible available man for whatever attention they can squeeze out of them.

 

I'm a guy age 34. The most annoying thing for me when I go out is formerly attractive women in their mid-30s who act like I owe them something. I had one who was trying to flirt with me at the bar a months ago who stomped her foot and stormed off, telling her friend, "**** this, I'm leaving." She left her friend behind and went right out the door.

 

Yeah, attractive women take their beauty for granted. Big time.

[kaylan]

The media and society conditions us to desire the female form. Her beauty, her sexuality.

 

Obviously there are some women who desired more than others, but in general women are fawned or lusted over much more than men.

 

Now maybe this part is just a product of men being the hunters and women being the choosers, but women seem to be much more descriminate and have a higher degrees of standards for a male suitor than vice versa.

 

Whether it is money, success or looks men seem to have to qualify themselves to women, while for the most part a woman must only be somewhat attractive to have the eye of at least a few guys.

 

So my question is, do women take for granted their attractiveness? How well would they do if the roles were reversed? If men were the objects of desire in society and the media?

 

Do you think if women weren't as desired they would have as high of standards for their mates?

Blame men.

 

Men control society and condition everyone to fawn over female beauty. However, in the past, men were seen as specimens of physical beauty more so than they are today.

 

It is what it is. Roll with the times. If I was a woman today, or a man during the times of antiquity, I would be reveling in my status as a sex symbol. Even as a man of today I know I am still a sexual creature and make sure I look good.

 

Im not worrying about women taking their position for granted, Im just worried about optimizing my own attractiveness.

 

In other words, I say to the thread title...."meh".

[todreaminblue]

The media and society conditions us to desire the female form. Her beauty, her sexuality.

 

Obviously there are some women who desired more than others, but in general women are fawned or lusted over much more than men.

 

Now maybe this part is just a product of men being the hunters and women being the choosers, but women seem to be much more descriminate and have a higher degrees of standards for a male suitor than vice versa.

 

Whether it is money, success or looks men seem to have to qualify themselves to women, while for the most part a woman must only be somewhat attractive to have the eye of at least a few guys.

 

So my question is, do women take for granted their attractiveness? How well would they do if the roles were reversed? If men were the objects of desire in society and the media?

 

Do you think if women weren't as desired they would have as high of standards for their mates?

 

 

Who says men arent desired or arent attractive.I think objectifying any human is wrong.Objects are inanimate and looked at as being void

 

i believe men are desired as much as women are....I desire a man......i am sure there a throngs of women who desire men.....just as there are throngs men who desire women.....its finding the right man and the right woman putting them together.......and convincing that man or woman that they are perfect together or worth a try at least....much harder...... fully subjective too and not objective, subjective to the two meshing will determines the desire level remains....i only wan to mesh with a man i find desirable and that finds me desirable as well..stuff the media stuff others perception it is my perception of desirability which i have no idea how that works just happens it seems adn hopefull the guy feels the same way....i make my own media by writing poetry the media such as television and magazines are full of propaganda, trends and misdirections....subjectively of course......deb

[kaylan]

Downright laughable.

 

In my experience, attractive women think life is golden right up until they hit the wall and their youth is gone. They think everyone else just needs to buck up and have a positive attitude. Then one day between the ages of 25 and 40 (varies) they cease to have sexual market value and reality comes crashing in. And then they suddenly figure out why life had been so easy for them.

 

Worse, a few of these women just become deranged and spend their 40s freaking out about everything and trolling every possible available man for whatever attention they can squeeze out of them.

 

I'm a guy age 34. The most annoying thing for me when I go out is formerly attractive women in their mid-30s who act like I owe them something. I had one who was trying to flirt with me at the bar a months ago who stomped her foot and stormed off, telling her friend, "**** this, I'm leaving." She left her friend behind and went right out the door.

 

Yeah, attractive women take their beauty for granted. Big time.

How do you know who is or isnt formerly attractive from their youth?

 

I swear this is something some bitter dudes tell themselves so they can think that the girls who used to reject them got their so called comeuppance. Why should anyone even get comeuppance simply because they didnt want you?

 

Its possible the woman wasnt much different looking in her 20s and 30s. Unless you knew her when she was younger, dont make assumptions. I know plenty of people who are not hot pieces of tail in their 20s, even though some of them were back when we were in high school. Im sure ten years later, guys will be saying the same thing you are saying and ill be thinking "nope, some of them were better looking during their teen years, but plenty of them look not much different from their 20s to 30s.

 

From the realistic look of things, many of the good looking women from your 20s, are already shacked up with a man by their 30s. Be real here and stop thinking that all the women that are left are the ones who were entitled princesses in their earlier years. Its possible they are just like you. Someone whos single for whatever reason and just trying to find someone decent to date. Unless you look like Brad Pitt or Daniel Craig from their 30s, you cannot call someone else "formerly attractive".

 

Most people change a lot physically in their 30s and much of it has to do with not eating well or exercising. So unless youre a great looking dude yourself...realize that some women may be saying to their friends at the bar "ewww theres nothing but guys who looked good ten years ago in here".

Edited September 18, 2012 by kaylan

[Mme. Chaucer]

I swear this is something some bitter dudes tell themselves so they can think that the girls who used to reject them got their so called comeuppance. Why should anyone even get comeuppance simply because they didnt want you?

 

 

I swear that, too. Fortunately, the so-called "comeuppance" exists only in the deluded imaginations of the bitter and rejected sad sacks.

 

I'm over 50 with dozens of friends. I honestly do not know a single woman who has experienced anything remotely like this:

 

Then one day between the ages of 25 and 40 (varies) they cease to have sexual market value and reality comes crashing in. And then they suddenly figure out why life had been so easy for them.

 

Worse, a few of these women just become deranged and spend their 40s freaking out about everything and trolling every possible available man for whatever attention they can squeeze out of them.

 

There are also plenty of these old has-beens posting here on LoveShack and they certainly don't demonstrate any of this behavior that has you so deeply concerned. But, if you insist, maybe some women like this actually do exist.

 

though I guess it's possible that it happens.

 

The most annoying thing for me when I go out is formerly attractive women in their mid-30s who act like I owe them something.

 

How do you know these are "formerly attractive" women? They are probably just your basic, average or below average looking not-so-young people (like yourself) who might want to get to know you.

 

And from reading this post, I can imagine why they would find that to be a bad idea.

[monkey00]

I will have to note other things also that others have failed to bring up:

 

Insecure women. These types also remain single because they have insecurities about either themselves (self-esteem issues) or of a pool of men from the general population (who will use them for sex or of men who are jerks), who build up trust issues that prevent them from forming true relationships and encourage the 'picky' behavior which in actuality masks their insecurities. There are actually insecure men too who fall under this category.

 

To add to the the whole 'frequency and increased dating options' for women. It also has become too easy in the effect of taking men for granted in that women don't have to do much work.

 

Men approach them, Men do the asking out, men pay for the dates, men follow up and make plans...if women had to pay for the entire date or went dutch for every date she'd go on with a guy, she would be more inclined to take dating more seriously. Kind of a similar concept to paying for a dating website VS a free dating website.

[jobaba]

Most people who have any kind of advantage will likely take it for granted, because to them, it's not an advantage...it's just the way it is to them...

 

Hmmm.

 

More true for looks though.

 

I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and I don't take that for granted at all. I help out the less fortunate whenever I can...

[bac]

It is because men have higher libido. Their sex drive/lust is the major motivation in life.

It is because she is looking for the right men to get married but not for ONSs. So, it is reasonable that the standards for husbands is higher than standards for ONSs.

Men are already the objects of women's desire in society. But, it is not sexual desire to get laid. It is the desire to find the right man of high quality on emotional/social/intellectual/genetical levels.

 

 

Do you think if women weren't as desired they would have as high of standards for their mates?

 

As for serious LTR/marriage,women are not desired at all. Most women have their chance to get married 0-3 times per the whole life.

Edited September 18, 2012 by bac

[TheBigQuestion]

Downright laughable.

 

In my experience, attractive women think life is golden right up until they hit the wall and their youth is gone. They think everyone else just needs to buck up and have a positive attitude. Then one day between the ages of 25 and 40 (varies) they cease to have sexual market value and reality comes crashing in. And then they suddenly figure out why life had been so easy for them.

 

Worse, a few of these women just become deranged and spend their 40s freaking out about everything and trolling every possible available man for whatever attention they can squeeze out of them.

 

I'm a guy age 34. The most annoying thing for me when I go out is formerly attractive women in their mid-30s who act like I owe them something. I had one who was trying to flirt with me at the bar a months ago who stomped her foot and stormed off, telling her friend, "**** this, I'm leaving." She left her friend behind and went right out the door.

 

Yeah, attractive women take their beauty for granted. Big time.

 

There is some truth and some exaggeration in this post.

 

In a purely social sense, there is no group of human beings more privileged than young women provided that their looks range from "reasonably attractive" to "hotter than the sun." For the sake of argument, let's imagine a bar/club scenario. When was the last time a woman got kicked out of a bar for hopping on the bar and dancing? When was the last time a guy was able to get a woman get kicked out for annoying him, looking at him funny, or making him uncomfortable? Conversely, when was the last time a guy was able to get into a club just based on the way he looks? Underaged females generally have a much easier time getting into a drinking establishment than underaged men do.

 

Don't get me wrong. I recognize that the common denominator in all these situations is a sucker of a man. In my college fraternity days, girls would try to flirt with me at our parties in an attempt to get their male friends in (despite strict 3 to 1 female to male ratios), to get extra drinks, or to change the playlist, even going as far as rubbing my crotch in an attempt to get me to do it (funny thought: these chicks are going to be mothers one day). Do you think I ever went for it? As drunk as I sometimes was, hell no.

 

Of course women will take advantage of these kinds of perks, sometimes without even realizing it, but often enough willfully manipulating situations to their advantage. To what degree their psyche is affected once the crow's feet, sagging breasts, and mysterious extra weight sets in, and they realize they can't get away with what they used to, is where I disagree with your post.

[veggirl]

I don't take it for granted. I am grateful that I am cute and naturally thin. All I really have to do is look around and know that I am lucky, seriously.........

 

plus I was goofy looking til I was like 19 so that def gave me some perspective.

[TheBigQuestion]

Just realized I didn't complete my thoughts.

 

**I don't believe that the inevitable drop in attractiveness that many women experience drives them as batty as you suggest.

[rocketman122]

The media and society conditions us to desire the female form. Her beauty, her sexuality.

 

Obviously there are some women who desired more than others, but in general women are fawned or lusted over much more than men.

 

Now maybe this part is just a product of men being the hunters and women being the choosers, but women seem to be much more descriminate and have a higher degrees of standards for a male suitor than vice versa.

 

Whether it is money, success or looks men seem to have to qualify themselves to women, while for the most part a woman must only be somewhat attractive to have the eye of at least a few guys.

 

So my question is, do women take for granted their attractiveness? How well would they do if the roles were reversed? If men were the objects of desire in society and the media?

 

Do you think if women weren't as desired they would have as high of standards for their mates?

 

 

I dont know what the heck youre talking about, but I choose the woman, not the other way around. many woman wanted a relationship with me, but I just didnt. they choose us? maybe you, but not me. I had to say no thank you to many woman..

[veggirl]

Then one day between the ages of 25 and 40 (varies) they cease to have sexual market value and reality comes crashing in. And then they suddenly figure out why life had been so easy for them.

 

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

Could you be more dramatic? Where are you getting this information, anyway? "cease to have sexual market value"? lmao. How do women of all ages end up still in Rs, even knew ones, past their "prime"?

 

Worse, a few of these women just become deranged and spend their 40s freaking out about everything and trolling every possible available man for whatever attention they can squeeze out of them.

 

They do? Where do you LIVE? Where you do see this? Do your friends attract women like this or something? Do YOU?

 

I'm a guy age 34. The most annoying thing for me when I go out is formerly attractive women in their mid-30s who act like I owe them something. I had one who was trying to flirt with me at the bar a months ago who stomped her foot and stormed off, telling her friend, "**** this, I'm leaving." She left her friend behind and went right out the door.

 

How do you know which STRANGERS are "formerly attractive" women? Seriously? How do you know they were not ugly all along? Most ugly women I know were never attractive. They didn't turn a magic age and suddenly fall apart.

[carhill]

I lolz at ovaries rattling, but I digress. Most of the women I've known haven't taken their attractiveness and the attendant power for granted. Small sample size for sure, but there ya go. In fact, the more 'powerful' in the beauty sense they were, the more likely they were to be respectful and even sensitive if/when rejecting romantic advances. Most of those were 30's-40's. I use the ability to turn all male (and some female) heads when entering a room as a yardstick of subjective beauty.

[veggirl]

Fellas who are soooo angry that a woman dare be attractive and not shacked up by age 23--what is so wrong with YOU that these attractive girls don't like you? You're so angry that they want other guys and not you. What is it about you that no one likes?

 

and if a girl is pretty and marries at 23, do you forgive her for daring to be an attractive young woman who DID NOT LIKE YOU? since she got married, she must be okay?

 

why SHOULD the PYTs like you cranky asses?

[insertnamehere]

I swear this is something some bitter dudes tell themselves so they can think that the girls who used to reject them got their so called comeuppance. Why should anyone even get comeuppance simply because they didnt want you?

 

I swear pinning everything on "bitterness" is how people evade reality.

[insertnamehere]

How do you know which STRANGERS are "formerly attractive" women? Seriously? How do you know they were not ugly all along?

 

Seriously? Ladies, you're all telling me you can't spot a 35-year old chick who was once hot but is now past her sell-by date?

 

Reeeeeeeally . . . ?

[veggirl]

Seriously? Ladies, you're all telling me you can't spot a 35-year old chick who was once hot but is now past her sell-by date?

 

Reeeeeeeally . . . ?

 

no, I don't know how you tell someone used to be hot.

 

Anyway, will anyone answer my question as to why the PYTs don't want you angry fellas? Is it cause you're too nice?

 

can you post a pic of a woman that you can tell used to be hot but now, in her 30s, is terribly ugly and used up looking? thank you

[SushiX]

Yes. I know a few women in their late 30s who were once very attractive, but have lost their spark. Some of them are very angry at men wanting the younger ladies now.

[jobaba]

Easy, some girls could've gotten highly educated, ambitious and wealthy men during their teens and twenties, by 35 the ovaries start rattling and now they're relegated to the very bottom rung of men ( which is only right considering their advanced age ).

 

There is some truth to this, but your view is exaggerated.

 

I actually don't think women's market value goes down below mens in their 30's, it just seems to even out.

 

Women are more likely to appreciate men who are actually in their league and don't just want to use them for sex, when they get into their 30's. It just seems like their "value" lessens, but its more like men and women become closer to equal in how attractive they are seen.

 

I much more agree with this.