lovecash Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Let me give you a little background on whats going on with me and my (ex)girlfriend. We are both 24 years old living in NYC, literally in apartments on the same street. We dated for 4 years, all of which I thought were amazing. She approached me a few weeks ago, saying she wanted space, and we werent meant to be together, and she wants to explore her feelings. We are currently in a stage of me giving her space and not contacting her at this point. The complicated issue is that for the past 3 years of our relationship, she has been battling anxiety issues and taking a prescription anti-anxiety/anti-depressant. She stopped taking her medication cold turkey a few months ago without telling me at all. After we had the breakup chat-- I did all my research and learned that when you go off an anti-depressant after taking it for so long, it basically completely screws up your brain and how you think and feel about everything. I know there is no way her changing feelings towards me and this huge change in her mental health are not correlated. The problem I have now is I feel I need to get through to her and have her talk to a medical professional about her mental health issues. She wants me to give her space but I NEED to get through to her so she understands what she did. I am thinking of either emailing her with a final ultimatum that she needs to address her problems, or calling her mom (who i have a good relationship with) and talking to her about it. I want to give her space, but I also dont want to go behind her back. What to do??
KatZee Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Let me give you a little background on whats going on with me and my (ex)girlfriend. We are both 24 years old living in NYC, literally in apartments on the same street. We dated for 4 years, all of which I thought were amazing. She approached me a few weeks ago, saying she wanted space, and we werent meant to be together, and she wants to explore her feelings. We are currently in a stage of me giving her space and not contacting her at this point. The complicated issue is that for the past 3 years of our relationship, she has been battling anxiety issues and taking a prescription anti-anxiety/anti-depressant. She stopped taking her medication cold turkey a few months ago without telling me at all. After we had the breakup chat-- I did all my research and learned that when you go off an anti-depressant after taking it for so long, it basically completely screws up your brain and how you think and feel about everything. I know there is no way her changing feelings towards me and this huge change in her mental health are not correlated. The problem I have now is I feel I need to get through to her and have her talk to a medical professional about her mental health issues. She wants me to give her space but I NEED to get through to her so she understands what she did. I am thinking of either emailing her with a final ultimatum that she needs to address her problems, or calling her mom (who i have a good relationship with) and talking to her about it. I want to give her space, but I also dont want to go behind her back. What to do?? Whether or not she's on her medication really isn't your business. There may be a plethora of reasons why she no longer wants to be on it, all of which are... her business. I don't think you had any right finding out about the medication she stopped taking, nor do I think you have any right contacting her medical professional, nor do I think you have any right contacting her mother. I don't think throwing down ultimatums to someone is the way to go either. She was very clear with you. Give her space. I'm not quite sure what your intentions are, but I can guarantee you that if you do any of the above, there will be no going back from there.
Mike_d Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I know there is no way her changing feelings towards me if you *know* this, then what are you doing? what Katzee points out is spot on.
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