Lisa9UE Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 met this guy online, we emailed for about a week and then he asked me to meet. On our first date he asked me out on a second and from then on we were inseperable and I was happier than I'd ever been and it showed. We had fun watching tv, listening to music, walking his dog, cooking food, sitting in the sun talking, all things I thought I was looking for. I felt so relaxed and comfortable around him. Two weeks after our first date he confessed he smoked weed and wanted to quit. He said he kept it from me because he knew how much I was anti it and he said he didn't want to lose me. I replied that as long as he quit I would let that go. He started his attempt to quit. He spoke about us living together later on, what dog we would get together etc etc. I took it as early excitement and it was just words and I went along with it. I even enjoyed the little chats about what we would do together. To me that was normal early day stuff. He suggested we remove our online dating profiles. I was happy to do so and he removed his in front of me. He was slightly jealous. He didn't like postings from my male friends on facebook, which to me were harmless but I've lived with a controlling jealous man before and it was nothing along those lines. I spent most weekends at his house. We would spend a lot of time in bed. I never had him at my house as I wanted to keep him separate from my teenage sons. I thought all that would come in time and I had plenty of time.... On our first night together he struggled to get and maintain an erection. He said it was because he wanted everything to be perfect and he got too nervous. I don't know how relevant that is, I just thought to include it. Something I haven't told my friends. Once that was over the sex was fantastic. He said it was all the time...at least he said it was! Last weekend I stayed over his house as usual. We had our usual lovely time. I liked myself around him. I liked the kind of girlfriend I was becoming and he was still expressing how much he liked me. That his family couldn't wait to meet me. I told him I would like to but at some point in the future as for now I wasn't ready. 2 hours after going home on Sunday I text him to see how he was getting on with his day. He replied an hour later stating that I was moving to fast and he was scared. He said that he felt like I wanted him to tell me we'd be together forever and it was too soon for me to be wanting that. (I have no idea where he got that from.) I told him that he could of said all of this to my face. After all I was with him. I also said that the speed of things was the pace he set, I was just going with the flow and having a great time. He agreed with me and said he always pushes people away that he likes. He deleted me from facebook. He suffers from depression. So do I. I have had no contact with him. I've deleted his number so I don't call or text him. I have humiliated myself by crying infront of my sons and at work. I don't understand how all of this went from being lovely to absolutely nothing and why I cant seem to pick myself up. I feel so sorry for myself and I hate it but I can't seem to pick myself back up. All I hear from friends is you don't want him anyway...followed by some name. But right now I still do.
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