bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 hard day today... his birthday.. and the first birthday in the last 4 years i will miss. all i keep thinking of is the past and who he may be with now, who will be there for him.. everyone except me. i'm really sad today. just want this day to be over.
amaysngrace Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Today may be a crappy day to be born. It is my exH's birthday today and he is a jackass. 3
DuchessKaye Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Wow! Can I join? Today's my ex's birthday as well and he was a 5 star playa! 4
stillafool Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Wow! I had an ex born today and he also was a 5 star playing, soul destroying playa as well. You gotta watch those Virgo men. Who can please them? 2
amaysngrace Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 i'm really sad today. just want this day to be over. Think of the money you don't have to spend on him and buy something nice for yourself instead. That's what I would do. Quit moping around. Get a shower and head out shopping. For all you know he may be comparing this birthday to his past four birthdays and be thinking of you too. Go shop! 2
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 i feel like such an idiot! i not only texted him when i said i wouldn't (i said: "happy birthday, have a great day.") i mailed him a birthday card telling him how he will always be in my heart, to have a great day, and that i will always be there for him no matter what. well, he replied to my text. all he said was "thank you." WHY DO I KEEP HURTING MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stillafool Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Don't beat yourself up. I wish you had come here and asked us if you should send him well wishes first but what's done is done. You have to let him go and consider him dead. That's the only way to move on from those types. 2
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 Don't beat yourself up. I wish you had come here and asked us if you should send him well wishes first but what's done is done. You have to let him go and consider him dead. That's the only way to move on from those types. me too. i hate how the heart takes over sometimes and rules over the mind... i hate it. i hate how we tend to over analyze a simple message and it makes things worse.. i hate everything about this process. 1
I'm nuts Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 i not only texted him when i said i wouldn't (i said: "happy birthday, have a great day.") well, he replied to my text. all he said was "thank you." What else would you expect? Should be grateful for that.
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 i not only texted him when i said i wouldn't (i said: "happy birthday, have a great day.") well, he replied to my text. all he said was "thank you." What else would you expect? Should be grateful for that. i don't know, i wish i would just get more than that, an i miss you on this day, a realization that he needs me, a text saying he wants to work it out. stupid illusions in my head.
I'm nuts Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Yes, sadly just an illusion, I had a xgirlfriend/my best friend, wish me a happy birthday recently and my reply to her was exactly the same, just a thank you. I was just happy to get a greeting, and I'm sure she was happy to get a reply however short.
KatZee Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Wow! I had an ex born today and he also was a 5 star playing, soul destroying playa as well. You gotta watch those Virgo men. Who can please them? My exs birthday was 10 days ago... holla with the unpleasable virgo's! 1
KatZee Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 i don't know, i wish i would just get more than that, an i miss you on this day, a realization that he needs me, a text saying he wants to work it out. stupid illusions in my head. Exactly. ILLUSIONS. If he's the one that did the dumping, you absolutely do NOT put yourself out there the way you just did. The text was enough, and honestly shouldn't have been sent... when he gets the card? Forget it. I don't want to be harsh but it comes off extremely needy and desperate. And the most you'll get is pity from him. Unless HE'S coming to you and making these profound gestures, you do NOTHING.You don't send him any well wishes, or mail cards, or profess your love... I mean.... "you'll always be there for him" ??? After he already threw you out? HE'S the one that should be there FOR YOU. Sit on your hands. Tie them together. Throw the phone out the window... ANYTHING, but this again.
patrick27 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 If it were my birthday today, I would not be very happy about my ex sending me anything. At least not right now. Maybe because it hasn't been long enough for me accept anything from her. I'm still in NC and miles from sentimental. I might feel different in a few months when it is my birthday, but I'll have to deal with that when the time comes.
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 Exactly. ILLUSIONS. If he's the one that did the dumping, you absolutely do NOT put yourself out there the way you just did. The text was enough, and honestly shouldn't have been sent... when he gets the card? Forget it. I don't want to be harsh but it comes off extremely needy and desperate. And the most you'll get is pity from him. Unless HE'S coming to you and making these profound gestures, you do NOTHING.You don't send him any well wishes, or mail cards, or profess your love... I mean.... "you'll always be there for him" ??? After he already threw you out? HE'S the one that should be there FOR YOU. Sit on your hands. Tie them together. Throw the phone out the window... ANYTHING, but this again. thank you katzee for your words, i need this right now. unfortunately, through all this pain, i need a big fat reminder that i am NOT what he wants! it can't be anymore clearer than what it is... and even what he has told me.. i don't know why i did that... i hate sounding like this but pain is the only way we learn sometimes. it stinks. thanks for putting it out there for me. once the heart takes over, its like you become a dodo head. i can't and will not let this happen again. because its like people say, whats the point? what do i get out of it? did it change anything? NO!
yessy21 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Dont Be sad... be glad. Now you can go boot shopping for the new season... and not having to buy some idiot nothing new. i guess your the winner here. 1
KatZee Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Dont Be sad... be glad. Now you can go boot shopping for the new season... and not having to buy some idiot nothing new. i guess your the winner here. I thought the same thing when my exes birthday came and went! every year for three years I spoiled him rotten. Hundred dollars worth of concert tickets, sporting events. ugh. I was so good to that kid. I can only imagine if we had still been together he woulda gotten another few hundred dollars out of me. so mad i ever spent that much on someone so undeserving.
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 (edited) i guess part of the reason i sent him a happy birthday text is because he sent me one. and i sent him the postcard because i wanted to remind him again for the millionth time that he will always be in my heart. idk why i did that now. at the time it seemed like a thoughtful and good idea since we both ended our last conversation with telling each other we cared for each other still no matter what... i know things happen for a reason, but i just can't understand it right now. i'm sad. today is a bad day for me. i wish this healing process would just end. i hate this. i hate how this happened to us. i wish we would have stayed together and just been happy. i wish he would still love me. i wish he would change his mind. i keep thinking about the past and how much we loved each other in the beginning. and how i was thought this was the one for me... and how i was set to be with him forever. he made me so happy. this f*cking sucks. why do i have a problem accepting? it's so cut and dry and he has made it clear and this stupid hope i have keeps coming back. Edited September 17, 2012 by bluefairy812
yessy21 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 THere is hope...for the hopeless. Ive bought my ungrateful ex.... 1. pair of black and red jordans 150.00 2. pair of white and red jordans 100.00 3. suitcase- 60.00 4. chain- 300.00 hmmm i didnt buy him much... i guess i got more out of it... welll either way... i spent over 600.00 dollars in gifts and crap... when i could have had... 1. whatever i want. 2. whatever i want 3. whatever i want. 4. " " but you know what... i think about what his drug addicted wife is going to buy him now and that is what i call PRICELESS. cause the chick cant even afford a toothbrush. 2
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 i wish i could be angry right now and i can't. it sucks.
KatZee Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 THere is hope...for the hopeless. Ive bought my ungrateful ex.... 1. pair of black and red jordans 150.00 2. pair of white and red jordans 100.00 3. suitcase- 60.00 4. chain- 300.00 hmmm i didnt buy him much... i guess i got more out of it... welll either way... i spent over 600.00 dollars in gifts and crap... when i could have had... 1. whatever i want. 2. whatever i want 3. whatever i want. 4. " " but you know what... i think about what his drug addicted wife is going to buy him now and that is what i call PRICELESS. cause the chick cant even afford a toothbrush. hahaha nice! I tried to recall the list of stuff I got for him, and I must have really blocked out all the great memories I have of him b/c I can really only recall ONE purchase for him, and it was $350 Tom Petty tickets. PER ticket. And I went so it was a nice $700 birthday gift. What I REALLY recall, is when I realized all that he had done to me, lied, cheated, treated me like crap, yet it was Christmas. All other holidays I put so much effort and thought, and time, and money. The last christmas we had together, i bought him simple work shirts, and a couple ties. (They were Armani, so it was still pricey, but a very dull and boring, and thoughtless gift). His brother sat there opening all his gifts from his fiance. leather jacket, gift cards, clothes, a stocking stuffer with all stuff he needed, and then my ex opened his gift of shirts and ties and i can't even tell you the look on his face. Disappointment? Of not being spoiled silly anymore? What REALLY sealed the deal with how much of an ungrateful, entitled, arrogant, piece of sh*t he was, is when he sat there in front of his entire family after opening his gift and said, "why did you buy me shirts and ties? I have so many shirts and ties." NOT EVEN A THANK YOU!! hahahhahah what a goddamn piece of work.
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 you guys are lucky, because now you have a reason to be strong and move on, because you had to deal with jerk exes. i didn't buy anything for my ex last year. it sucked because he asked me why i didn't. and idk why i didn't.... we were having issues and i was short on money and frankly didn't know what to get him. i regret it so much.
I'm nuts Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 hahaha nice! I tried to recall the list of stuff I got for him, and I must have really blocked out all the great memories I have of him b/c I can really only recall ONE purchase for him, and it was $350 Tom Petty tickets. PER ticket. And I went so it was a nice $700 birthday gift. What I REALLY recall, is when I realized all that he had done to me, lied, cheated, treated me like crap, yet it was Christmas. All other holidays I put so much effort and thought, and time, and money. The last christmas we had together, i bought him simple work shirts, and a couple ties. (They were Armani, so it was still pricey, but a very dull and boring, and thoughtless gift). His brother sat there opening all his gifts from his fiance. leather jacket, gift cards, clothes, a stocking stuffer with all stuff he needed, and then my ex opened his gift of shirts and ties and i can't even tell you the look on his face. Disappointment? Of not being spoiled silly anymore? What REALLY sealed the deal with how much of an ungrateful, entitled, arrogant, piece of sh*t he was, is when he sat there in front of his entire family after opening his gift and said, "why did you buy me shirts and ties? I have so many shirts and ties." NOT EVEN A THANK YOU!! hahahhahah what a goddamn piece of work. Let it rip!! wooo
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 you guys have no idea how much i feel like a big loser at this point. sending him a card and a text after we both agreed NC would be the way to go so we can move on. big big loser.
SunandMoon Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 (edited) you guys have no idea how much i feel like a big loser at this point. sending him a card and a text after we both agreed NC would be the way to go so we can move on. big big loser. So long as it doesn't lead to conversation; it should be fine. Or I'd guess. And don't feel bad, it's human nature to want to be thoughtful and caring to someone you know. ---- Also... Today is my birthday and after reading this thread I feel like I am a horrible person by default now. (Well, not really, just sayin', ya know.) Edited September 17, 2012 by SunandMoon 1
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