Berna Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Of all the things that are unbearable in a break up, nostalgia is the most unbearable for me. This time of the year, last year, I was so happy. I was falling in love and was feeling for the first time the most beautiful of all feelings. Now, we are breaking up. It hurts to browse through old emails (I have to, because it's part of my work), it hurts to go through the streets we were hugging and kissing each other, it hurts to work at this company. Any ideas of how to make this hurt less? Any ideas on how to forget? Help me please
eleve82 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 This maybe an unconventional approach but I try to imagine myself doing equally fun things and having better experiences with a future partner whenever I'm tempted to start being nostalgic. You don't have to put a name or face to that partner, but just remember the good feelings you had for that memory and think "this will happen again". In a way it's a form of positive thinking - you'll need to look forward, not backwards, and know that it is possible. Hope this helps!
bluefairy812 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Of all the things that are unbearable in a break up, nostalgia is the most unbearable for me. This time of the year, last year, I was so happy. I was falling in love and was feeling for the first time the most beautiful of all feelings. Now, we are breaking up. It hurts to browse through old emails (I have to, because it's part of my work), it hurts to go through the streets we were hugging and kissing each other, it hurts to work at this company. Any ideas of how to make this hurt less? Any ideas on how to forget? Help me please i have the SAME EXACT problem. i am living in the past and thinking of this time last year... or even 6 months ago. it's so difficult and it's my biggest problem ever. but, all you can do is occupy yourself to try and get your mind off of things. it's hard. but you have to live in the present.
carhill Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Part of moving on is checking into the nostalgia hotel once in awhile to see how the bed feels. Right now, it's lumpy and uncomfortable. There will come a time when it can/will be a comfortable and satisfying resting place for what is now history in your life. Only way to know how it's going is to check in occasionally. If it's uncomfortable/sad/etc, then check out again. Good luck. 1
january2011 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Make new plans and make new memories. What have you always wanted to do but never got round to? Learn new skills, go to Meetups, try a new sport or hobby, visit somewhere you've never been before. Shake up your routine. I agree with eleve82, you can't reallly look forward to your future or enjoy your present if you're always looking back and thinking how good it was back then. By looking back, you are just reinforcing the strength of the old memories. So do something new and different to make new connections in your brain.
mpa Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 This is the hardest for me too - my ex and I met just over a year ago, and this time last year, as the weather was changing and football was on TV all the time, we were so happy. I'm hoping all of these things are triggering feelings for him too but ugh, I doubt it.
blue_jay_bird Posted September 18, 2012 Posted September 18, 2012 Of all the things that are unbearable in a break up, nostalgia is the most unbearable for me. This time of the year, last year, I was so happy. Think, this time, this year i can met someone special, and fall in love again.
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