Mint Sauce Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 anyone else experience a large difference between the effort required for active vs passive NC? For me: - not contacting her: hardly any effort. There's nothing left I want to say, I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to see her, I don't miss her as she is now. - not staying up-to-date about how her new life with the new guy is going: much much harder. Basically I want to see them fail, or at least I want to see that I'm having an equally good time (albeit as a single guy rather than as a couple). I know, not a very nice sentiment, but I'm jealous and desperate for justice. So yes, I still look at her FB page (but she doesn't post anymore), and I find it hard to resist the temptation to hack her email account, not out of interest in her, but as confirmation that it's not all black and white: she the winner, me the loser. In fact, the past months have been very rich and constructive for me (reconnected with friends, new and old hobbies revived,...), but it can't compete with the idealized image I have of their new life... I know I shouldn't be thinking about their great life together, but not thinking is much harder than not doing...
todreaminblue Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 anyone else experience a large difference between the effort required for active vs passive NC? For me: - not contacting her: hardly any effort. There's nothing left I want to say, I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to see her, I don't miss her as she is now. - not staying up-to-date about how her new life with the new guy is going: much much harder. Basically I want to see them fail, or at least I want to see that I'm having an equally good time (albeit as a single guy rather than as a couple). I know, not a very nice sentiment, but I'm jealous and desperate for justice. So yes, I still look at her FB page (but she doesn't post anymore), and I find it hard to resist the temptation to hack her email account, not out of interest in her, but as confirmation that it's not all black and white: she the winner, me the loser. In fact, the past months have been very rich and constructive for me (reconnected with friends, new and old hobbies revived,...), but it can't compete with the idealized image I have of their new life... I know I shouldn't be thinking about their great life together, but not thinking is much harder than not doing... I want my ex to be happy and i want to find my own happiness it doesnt depend on him.He was a dick to me i am over it over him but wish him happiness and i think for once he wishes it for me.We have teens together i live interstate i have no desire to reconnect on a face to face level ......i have desire to connect with another face.....and i am loyal once in a relationship in fact my loyalty extends beyond in a relationship .......if i am thinking of someone i cannot be unfaithful to that person i am thinking about...how sick is that?.....pretty sick.....smilin....made myself smile though so i am off for a walk think about someone for a while......deb
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