GirlontheLam Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I thought this would be a fun question. So are you a natural born flirt? My parents are, so I learned from them. I gotta tone it down so I don't come off as a super tease.
C-V-L Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 aha.... It's always fun to flirt even when nothing comes of it. There's no need to tone it down. If someone can't handle that, it's their problem.
Titanwolf Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Yeah. It's only to bring a little essence and wit to a conversation. My ex used to hate it when I used to flirt, even more so because I was oblivious to it (because it came naturally). Now I've identified it though, I find it easier to restrain myself when I'm attached.
january2011 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Someone once told me that if they were looking to flirt, they'd pick someone who is intelligent. Yeah, somehow, I don't think that quite translates. I like to think that I'm intelligent, but fail miserably when it comes to flirting. I don't flirt naturally, nor am I a natural flirt. I can banter and (sometimes) joke, but it's a two-way process. If you don't click with the other person and they are "brick-walling" you, it really doesn't matter how good you think you are. I'm also of the belief that flirting causes more problems than it solves. Since I'm in a relationship, I try my best to stay away from anything that might be misconstrued as signalling romantic interest.
somedude81 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Ugh, I don't like girls who always flirt meaninglessly. "Oh, I'm sorry I have a boyfriend. I'm always like this" Thanks for getting my hopes up bitch (I wonder if the chip on my shoulder is more like a boulder.)
C-V-L Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Ugh, I don't like girls who always flirt meaninglessly. "Oh, I'm sorry I have a boyfriend. I'm always like this" Thanks for getting my hopes up bitch (I wonder if the chip on my shoulder is more like a boulder.) Gettting your hopes up???? It's just playful. Why does everything have to always be so serious. 2
KatZee Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Gettting your hopes up???? It's just playful. Why does everything have to always be so serious. Yeah seriously. Just because we're being flirty it means we're going to sleep with you or become your girlfriend in 5 seconds? Unless the girl is shoving her hands down your pants and jerking you off and then just stopping and says, "oh nevermind i have a bf! heehee!" then relax. Definite boulder.
somedude81 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I've had girls be very friendly with me, touching, one even poked me in the stomach, giving me lots of attention, more than any other guy in the area, using blatant sexual innuendo. All of those girls either rejected me when I asked them out, or had boyfriends that I later found out about. There is a line between being playful and showing interest. And getting my hopes up is simply about thinking that the girl might like me and maybe I can get a date out of it. It's not about wanting an instant girlfriend or a one night stand.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 There are different types of flirting. I'm good at some but not others. The Mr. Coolguy act can be a struggle for me at times because it's so far from my natural personality. Some women use a style of flirting that comes across as desperate for attention. It is really unattractive.
Author GirlontheLam Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 I tend towards a little touchy feely. The arm grab, shoulder touch or even the knee touch are all typical behaviors for me. I am also smiley and chatty. And some people read that as being interested..... Don't get me started on hugs!
C-V-L Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I've had girls be very friendly with me, touching, one even poked me in the stomach, giving me lots of attention, more than any other guy in the area, using blatant sexual innuendo. All of those girls either rejected me when I asked them out, or had boyfriends that I later found out about. There is a line between being playful and showing interest. And getting my hopes up is simply about thinking that the girl might like me and maybe I can get a date out of it. It's not about wanting an instant girlfriend or a one night stand. So just take it as a compliment? Maybe she really did like you.. but she does actually have a bf. Personally I would never be insulted if girls flirted with me but then could not take it any farther. I just enjoy the moment and move on. Would you rather stand around being bored all night ? I don't get it .....
somedude81 Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I tend towards a little touchy feely. The arm grab, shoulder touch or even the knee touch are all typical behaviors for me. I am also smiley and chatty. And some people read that as being interested..... Don't get me started on hugs! Being touch feely with guys you don't know too well can be getting into dangerous territory. So just take it as a compliment? Maybe she really did like you.. but she does actually have a bf. Personally I would never be insulted if girls flirted with me but then could not take it any farther. I just enjoy the moment and move on. Would you rather stand around being bored all night ? I don't get it ..... Instead of thinking that a girl might be into me and then becoming disappointed because she actually isn't? Of course I would.
runner Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Being touch feely with guys you don't know too well can be getting into dangerous territory. this and your earlier statement just makes you seem really uptight, and i don't know any attractive woman that would be attracted to this way of thinking- seriously, even the shy ones. you need to lighten up and realise that there are really friendly people out there who do get touchy and even a bit 'flirty'. personally i love these types, and i don't take it as romantic interest unless it actually goes there; again i don't equate flirting with making a move. if these types of people aren't for you, then you need to move away, quit interacting with them, or just tell them out right that you hate touching. you might, but i don't view it as 'dangerous territory' at all. 1
C-V-L Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Instead of thinking that a girl might be into me and then becoming disappointed because she actually isn't? Of course I would. So let me get this straight.... you would rather stand around ALL night and be BORED out of your mind. Then have fun and later find out that the fun is over? Everything ends at one point or another nothing is gonna last forever bub.. how about you just try to enjoy yourself while you can.
ThaWholigan Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 It took a while for me to get comfortable with flirting. My style is a little too direct, so I had to suppress it. I'm not really a natural unfortunately - but I'm getting better. It's a natural thing for some, but you can cultivate it. 1
Author GirlontheLam Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 Being touch feely with guys you don't know too well can be getting into dangerous territory. It took me a little while to learn that one. These days I stick with a touch on the shoulder for emphasis. I also somehow am a magnet for the touchy feely men. We've got some slightly weird work dynamics at my company. (Virtual company, so we don't see each other often. Once a month for locals, 1-3 times a year for everyone else.) My male boss is both a flirt and very huggy. There is a very thin line between affectionate and awkward!
ThaWholigan Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 So let me get this straight.... you would rather stand around ALL night and be BORED out of your mind. Then have fun and later find out that the fun is over? Everything ends at one point or another nothing is gonna last forever bub.. how about you just try to enjoy yourself while you can. In Somedude's defense, his story is one of 100% ratio of false starts with girls, which is why he probably doesn't have a lot of good feelings about frequent flirts. Although, Somedude you have to learn not to take it seriously. The better you get at going with the flow and letting it go when it's done, the better you yourself will get at flirting, and you will also get better at attracting girls too .
C-V-L Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 In Somedude's defense, his story is one of 100% ratio of false starts with girls, which is why he probably doesn't have a lot of good feelings about frequent flirts. Although, Somedude you have to learn not to take it seriously. The better you get at going with the flow and letting it go when it's done, the better you yourself will get at flirting, and you will also get better at attracting girls too . My guess is that since he takes it so seriously he might be scaring some people off even when they genuinely like him. If the situation goes from flirting to suddenly "OK, so you like me? When we going out? Tomorrow? Lets **** right now... why not you touched me on the arm!" ...then... ya.. it's gonna lead to "100% false starts with girls"
ThaWholigan Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 My guess is that since he takes it so seriously he might be scaring some people off even when they genuinely like him. If the situation goes from flirting to suddenly "OK, so you like me? When we going out? Tomorrow? Lets **** right now... why not you touched me on the arm!" ...then... ya.. it's gonna lead to "100% false starts with girls" Don't know why your rolling eyes - it's not really his fault he doesn't/didn't know that at first. Not everybody has the same understanding of attraction straight away unfortunately. 1
SmileFace Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I don't flirt. I don't know how to. It sucks with social outings, night life, but I don't care to meet guys that way. So it is a win win for me.
Author GirlontheLam Posted September 17, 2012 Author Posted September 17, 2012 Flirting isn't really about "scoring." There isn't always and end goal, it is more about having a little fun!
Jamesblame Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Flirting is really fun. At first you're nervous because you're afraid they'll reject you. Then you realize that you're just shooting the **** and having fun with someone. It's more about amusing yourself and MAYBE making a fun connection with someone than it is anything to do with relationship building or scoring. It's a good trait to have---that type of extroversion is awarded again and again in life. 1
ASG Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 I flirt all the time. I don't even notice it, I just do. It has been misinterpreted sometimes, which is embarrassing... 1
nessaaa Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 When I flirt it's just to watch their reaction for kicks. I love flirting. I do it with PRETTY girls only and I'm not even gay, I don't go in hard as I do with guys tho, most girls don't mind.. Cuz we're freaks.
SunandMoon Posted September 17, 2012 Posted September 17, 2012 Oooooh yes, and apparently I'm borderline shameless with it... It gets me in trouble a lot. I am asked to tone it down and there is no dimmer switch. At the same time I'm shy as all heck (except via internet, of course) so it gets awkward as crap. And I have to kind of get a feel for the person (if they have a playful personality or not) before I go flirting up a storm, if that makes sense. Also my flirting never leads to anything, or so has been the track record. Not that anything ever is intended, really.
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