soinlovewithtwo Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 I am a 23 yr old female. Graduating from a bachelor's in science in nursing in December. I have a great job as a nursing assistant. I support myself and generally, have a great life. So....I havent been in a "rush" to get into a relationship. I had a FWB situation this summer and broke it off after I realized he would not be in a committed rship with me. Since then, I havent really dated but I have been "hanging out" with a guy. Hes my exact age. Intelligent as well (graduated with an engineering degree recently- still has not found a job in it, but he has a well -paying job through family). He lives at home, but he pretty much seems like he has his things together (and hes the "normal" guy I mentioned in my last posting). He is attractive, has a good moral system and has a great family. ANYWAY The whole point of this IS: I cant figure out if were going anywhere or if the situation is hopeless. Ive been "seeing" him since beginning of July. We met on a dating site, but the first two times (spread out about 2 weeks apart, as all of our encounters have been) we did "hangout" activities (went to the beach and walked around, the park.) Weve never had an issue talking. He said he wants to get to know someone before dating. The 3rd time, I went to his house and spent the day with him and his family. He ended up paying for us both to play puttputt. we Had an awesome time, and he texted me later complimenting me (he does a lot; says Im pretty, have a nice smile, I am smart, etc). However, our communication outside of seeing each other isnt the best (texting after few days or so, convos dont get very detailed or long usually). he still actively logs onto the dating sites. So we hung out the 4th time last week. He came to my apartment (he bought the food we ended up cooking) and we sat around my apartment. During the whole day, I felt a huge sense of physical chemistry (walked around walmart aimlessly, looking at each other, passing by every aisle cuz we were wrapped up looking and talking to each other). He was smiling a lot. we ended up playfully tossing playing cards at each other. I was sitting near him and tried putting a card in his hair to see if it would stay...he didnt really have a reaction. he just kinda sat there. but we kept being playful and sitting around...which lasted like 2 hrs. We had a lot of eye contact, smiling- which felt like chemistry to me. Then he left. As he was leaving, he was staring down at me (were standing by the door) and it was awkward for like 45 sec, he bent down towards me and I turned my head to go into a hug (and am not 100% sure what wouldve happened; i wasnt sure if he wanted to kiss me or what??) We always hug hello and goodbye, and this was the same as usual I guess. Well....after that night, i sent him an FB message and asked if he wanted to date (non exclusively, but to call it dating) and he basically said that hes thought about it too, he wants to get to know me more and see where it goes- but that hes working on getting a new job and should know "soon". So I guess nothing weve done was a date? and were not going to yet??? Didnt hear from him for a week after that. Then he texted me and asked how my week was. We flirted a little bit. Im just so confused. I dont know if hes feeding me BS. He says on his dating profile that he really wants a gf and to fall in love and I believe it because he has not made any physical moves towards me. Obviously hes not in it for the sex. BUT IM SO CONFUSED. I really am starting to like him honestly. At this point, it is clear he will not verbalize and probably will not kiss me first. So my question is.....does it sound like hes just giving me BS? Why is he acting so hot/cold? I know hes shy/reserved...but is that normal even for that? Should I just try to kiss him and get it over with so I know once and for all? Its been over 2 months and I want to know if this is going somewhere. I dont think Im being unreasonable :/ Help!!!
Balzac Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 You lost we at "hung out in WalMart". I'm trying to sync your age with your actions. Not sure what to make of this. I get your question, I'm sure others here can offer sage advice.
Author soinlovewithtwo Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 You lost we at "hung out in WalMart". I'm trying to sync your age with your actions. Not sure what to make of this. I get your question, I'm sure others here can offer sage advice. ahaha we went there to search for food to cook for dinner. we agreed that our hanging out was going to consist of cooking together. We went there to find food and ended up mostly walking past all of the food because we were talking and looking at each other
KungFuJoe Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 From what I gather, you have two choices... Give up or make the first move.
Author soinlovewithtwo Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 yeah to clarify.....we looked for food at walmart then hung out alone in my apartment....dont know what to do/how to progress things (thinking physical move is best?) or to just give up. im trying to meet new people (for the last month or so) but nobody seems to be as good so far...sigh.
Author soinlovewithtwo Posted September 16, 2012 Author Posted September 16, 2012 From what I gather, you have two choices... Give up or make the first move. yeah im just scared of the rejection part. Like if I try to get close to him (idk how to do this without being awkward??) and then try to lean in for a kiss, he will back away/get grossed out/something else bad.
suladas Posted September 16, 2012 Posted September 16, 2012 Do you know if he's ever had a girlfriend before? If he hasn't maybe he's just to nervous to make a move. I would THINK over texting he would say he wants to date you if he does though when you asked, even if he's to shy to make a move. But really you don't know unless you try.
Recommended Posts