LittlePrince Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 (quotes in the title are paraphrased for succinctness) I'm dating someone who speaks her mind, and she's quite a looker. In all sincerity I tell her that I'm enjoying our date activity and that I think she looks great. I don't think she doubted that I meant it, but I was a little taken aback when she said that that's what everyone says. I've dated people before who had trouble accepting a compliment because they didn't believe it (for example they didn't think they were good looking), but I don't think I've come across this one before - it's hard to compliment her because she's "heard it all before". I don't think she's particularly arrogant about being good looking, but perhaps bored of being told about it. Maybe I should just shut up and enjoy the fact that someone who is pleasing to the eye wants to spend time with me (and speak up in other areas), but I wonder if anyone else has dealt with this and how you went about it? Meanwhile I'm filing this under 'nice problems to have'. You date people who have issues with compliments and you aren't seeing the trend..... I'll file this under oblivious.
todreaminblue Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 "You strongly resemble a heavenly blessed beauty whos beauty is divine and everlasting" lol this is inspired and pretty funny....smilin....very poetic.....thanks for the smile i am quoting it in my post....lol.....deb
todreaminblue Posted October 21, 2012 Posted October 21, 2012 (quotes in the title are paraphrased for succinctness) I'm dating someone who speaks her mind, and she's quite a looker. In all sincerity I tell her that I'm enjoying our date activity and that I think she looks great. I don't think she doubted that I meant it, but I was a little taken aback when she said that that's what everyone says. I've dated people before who had trouble accepting a compliment because they didn't believe it (for example they didn't think they were good looking), but I don't think I've come across this one before - it's hard to compliment her because she's "heard it all before". I don't think she's particularly arrogant about being good looking, but perhaps bored of being told about it. Maybe I should just shut up and enjoy the fact that someone who is pleasing to the eye wants to spend time with me (and speak up in other areas), but I wonder if anyone else has dealt with this and how you went about it? Meanwhile I'm filing this under 'nice problems to have'. I wouldn't worrry .......there are worse things that someone could be told than you are beautiful.........at least she isnt being told I wanna have sex with you all the time that might be worse..... i loved this inspired way to say you are beautiful...lol....its funnily poetic.......and probably impossible to say with a serious face....you should try it and get back here and post if you could say it with out smiling....here it is...... QUOTE "You strongly resemble a heavenly blessed beauty whos beauty is divine and everlasting" UNQUOTE if you can not smile.....while saying this ...try it...if you can hold off the grin you are gifted......deb
MrCastle Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 Yeah.. knocking a girl you are dating down a few pegs is just the right thing to do... If the girl has any self esteem knocking her down a few pegs will get you kicked to the curb as it is a form of manipulation and can be seen as abusive depending on the pegs you knock her from. It sounds to me that the OP's girl doesn't really believe deep in her heart the things all the guys keep saying to her so when he says them it falls on deaf ears so to speak.. I'd bet that the last time she believed them some guy hurt her so her protection mechanism is to put a false face on and just say yeah... I don't think things will change until the OP breaks down her wall and really gets to her... The best he can hope for is she doesn't equate his compliments in a bad way.. I think it's kind of sad if a person modifies their own behavior because of fear of being perceived as an "AFC." If you want to compliment someone I think you should do it. If the person takes compliments in an ungraceful way, I think it would be wise to pay attention to this quality. Also, that it's smart to be aware that originality IS a good quality, and that letting a person know that you appreciate some of their less blatant attractive attributes is good. Dudes, read the OP. This girl seems bored when it comes to compliments. As if she's heard it all before. You think the cure for that is to compliment her MORE? Or compliment things you think she HASN'T heard before? What the hell is that? When you have a girl who receives very little compliments, you set yourself apart from the pack by complimenting her. When you have a girl who is constantly complemented, you act indifferent to set yourself apart from the pack. I've never in my dating history seen ass kissing as an effective means of seduction/attraction. Keep gassing girls up all you want, but it just does not work in the end.
Jane2011 Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I know a few girls who qualify as "beautiful"/"hot," and they pretty much always react in a bashful, 'aw shucks' way when told they're beautiful. (Of course, I don't presume to have been around them in any and all cases, but certainly from what I can tell, they act humbly about compliments.) I can't imagine saying "I know" to a person who told me I was beautiful, even if I was. But anyway, if the woman in question is joking or being otherwise cute about saying "I know," it's no big deal, I guess. Anyway, if/when men call me beautiful or sexy or whatever, I usually just say thank you. I like being complimented for looks and other things, both. I've realized, though, that my favorite compliment is not necessarily looks or brains, but personality. I think I'd like a guy liking me most for "just the way I am" (like a certain 'je ne sais quoi' of demeanor/behavior). I think I find this most flattering, and it makes me feel most secure in his liking me, because whatever 'je ne sais quoi' exists in my personality is harder for other women to duplicate. In contrast, there are easily better looking women and smarter women than me... 1
todreaminblue Posted October 22, 2012 Posted October 22, 2012 I know a few girls who qualify as "beautiful"/"hot," and they pretty much always react in a bashful, 'aw shucks' way when told they're beautiful. (Of course, I don't presume to have been around them in any and all cases, but certainly from what I can tell, they act humbly about compliments.) I can't imagine saying "I know" to a person who told me I was beautiful, even if I was. But anyway, if the woman in question is joking or being otherwise cute about saying "I know," it's no big deal, I guess. Anyway, if/when men call me beautiful or sexy or whatever, I usually just say thank you. I like being complimented for looks and other things, both. I've realized, though, that my favorite compliment is not necessarily looks or brains, but personality. I think I'd like a guy liking me most for "just the way I am" (like a certain 'je ne sais quoi' of demeanor/behavior). I think I find this most flattering, and it makes me feel most secure in his liking me, because whatever 'je ne sais quoi' exists in my personality is harder for other women to duplicate. In contrast, there are easily better looking women and smarter women than me... i couldnt imagine answering with a i know unless in a joking way and even then i dont think it is that funny to say a i know comment to a complimetn on beauty....humility si beauty no matter how many time syou hear soemthing......... that is what i though at first maybe she is joking......who knows.....lol....still thinking of the poetic quote though.....hope he tries that one.........its giggle worthy...or bucket passing worthy havent figured out which.....deb
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