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"You look beautiful today." "I know."

oaks

By oaks
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oaks Established Member

oaks

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(quotes in the title are paraphrased for succinctness)

 

I'm dating someone who speaks her mind, and she's quite a looker. In all sincerity I tell her that I'm enjoying our date activity and that I think she looks great. I don't think she doubted that I meant it, but I was a little taken aback when she said that that's what everyone says.

 

I've dated people before who had trouble accepting a compliment because they didn't believe it (for example they didn't think they were good looking), but I don't think I've come across this one before - it's hard to compliment her because she's "heard it all before". I don't think she's particularly arrogant about being good looking, but perhaps bored of being told about it.

 

Maybe I should just shut up and enjoy the fact that someone who is pleasing to the eye wants to spend time with me (and speak up in other areas), but I wonder if anyone else has dealt with this and how you went about it?

 

Meanwhile I'm filing this under 'nice problems to have'. :)

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mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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I'd just compliment her less often. There is really not much to deal with here.

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O'farrell Established Member

O'farrell

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"You strongly resemble a heavenly blessed beauty whos beauty is divine and everlasting"

iris219 Established Member

iris219

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I don’t think people realize how much attractive girl has to deal with being valued based on how she looks while other aspects are ignored or overshadowed. I’d much rather be complimented for something other than how I look.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
Posted
(quotes in the title are paraphrased for succinctness)

 

I'm dating someone who speaks her mind, and she's quite a looker. In all sincerity I tell her that I'm enjoying our date activity and that I think she looks great. I don't think she doubted that I meant it, but I was a little taken aback when she said that that's what everyone says.

 

I've dated people before who had trouble accepting a compliment because they didn't believe it (for example they didn't think they were good looking), but I don't think I've come across this one before - it's hard to compliment her because she's "heard it all before". I don't think she's particularly arrogant about being good looking, but perhaps bored of being told about it.

 

Maybe I should just shut up and enjoy the fact that someone who is pleasing to the eye wants to spend time with me (and speak up in other areas), but I wonder if anyone else has dealt with this and how you went about it?

 

Meanwhile I'm filing this under 'nice problems to have'. :)

:laugh: Yeah, it is quite a challenge to compliment a girl who is already good looking - and definitely knows about it!

 

I try to be creative about it and compliment the minute details that might not relate directly to the way that she looks in terms of her body or face. Also, on things that have nothing to do with her attractiveness help too. And to be honest, it's kind of refreshing since I myself struggle with delivering compliments well, as well as receiving them on occasion.

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iris219 Established Member

iris219

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:laugh: Yeah, it is quite a challenge to compliment a girl who is already good looking - and definitely knows about it!

 

I try to be creative about it and compliment the minute details that might not relate directly to the way that she looks in terms of her body or face. And to be honest, it's kind of refreshing since I myself struggle with delivering compliments well, as well as receiving them on occasion.

 

Memorable compliments are always nice. Once a guy told me I had nice eyebrows and another said I had sexy knees. I really appreciated both of these compliments because I felt like they were paying attention to details and seeing more of me than most men do.

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SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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Memorable compliments are always nice. Once a guy told me I had nice eyebrows and another said I had sexy knees. I really appreciated both of these compliments because I felt like they were paying attention to details and seeing more of me than most men do.

I would be so disturbed truthfully.

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iris219 Established Member

iris219

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I would be so disturbed truthfully.

 

Yeah, it bordered on creepy, but I'm a sucker for originality.

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oaks Established Member

oaks

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"You strongly resemble a heavenly blessed beauty whos beauty is divine and everlasting"

 

She's probably heard that one.

MrCastle Established Member

MrCastle

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Sorry to spoil the AFC convention here but remind me again why we're complimenting girls who react that way? Wholigan, complimenting her on things she never gets complimented on, so then she feels she's perfect in areas she wasn't even aware of??? Come on man!

 

Lay off the compliments. I would suggest you tease her here and there to onock her down a few pegs but at this stage it may seem too transparent and phony since it would go against what you've already been doing. Dial back the compliments, ESPECIALLY if she responds with stuff like "I know" or any other arrogant remarks.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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My ex was very good at just looking at me in a way that was a compliment or say something nice quietly. I much prefer it when a man acknowledges that I'm well read or smart - though definitely learnt to accept compliments gracefully. I think oaks your friend knows that a lot of men are not that fussy therefore their opinion doesn't necessarily matter.

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tigressA Established Member

tigressA

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I'm in with Iris and Wholigan--compliment her on something other than her looks, or if you have to go with her appearance, make it detailed.

 

But:

 

I get told I'm beautiful and other related words all the time and it can get tiring, but I never fail to say "Thank you" and/or return the compliment if it's warranted (a guy I'm dating, or a friend, rather than someone on the street).

 

Sometimes I get cheeky and say "Oh I know" or "That's what everyone says" but I offer up a saucy smirk and a laugh along with it so the giver of the compliment knows it's in good humor. I can see how the woman you're dating can come off as arrogant/bored depending on how her response is delivered. It certainly wouldn't kill her to make you or anyone else who compliments her feel appreciated.

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Titanwolf Established Member

Titanwolf

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This is why I only compliment a woman on things that I admire about her (That's never her "beauty). As others have said though, just compliment her less and maybe if you hold back, your compliments will hold more water.

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nessaaa Established Member

nessaaa

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Well the guy Im feeling complimented me... maybe once.

And it's like WTF. Argh. Guys I don't give a flying **** about compliment me more than him. When I compliment him he just calls me sweet...???.. Sheesh.

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Million.to.1 Established Member

Million.to.1

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Looks are something that one is born with, so constant compliments about something you aren't responsible for is nice, but tiresome. it's like people giving you compliments about being tall.

 

Oaks, find other ways to compliment her. Her sense of style, the way she dresses, her humor or little things that she has finessed herself.

 

if she can't take those compliments well, then she's just a snob.

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oaks Established Member

oaks

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I don’t think people realize how much attractive girl has to deal with being valued based on how she looks while other aspects are ignored or overshadowed. I’d much rather be complimented for something other than how I look.

 

Thanks Iris. I was hoping you would be reading... somehow I thought you'd be able to relate to my question. :)

curlygirl40 Established Member

curlygirl40

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How about when you compliment her, say something more specific like 'I love when you wear your hair like that' or 'the color blue looks good on you, it brings out your eyes'.

 

If you want to throw a compliment to her without just saying 'you're beautiful', for example.

 

I have a great friend of mine (a girl) who is always telling me 'you're gorgeous' and I think to myself 'you have to say that, you're my best friend!' LOL But often she'll say something like 'I love that shirt on you, those are good colors on you, earthy tones really look good on you', and like one of the other posters said, it doesn't sound so cliche.

 

And like you said, it's a good problem to have!

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Bristolius Established Member

Bristolius

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Most posters here seem to agree that the first goal is to pay someone a compliment. Then you try like hell to come up with something. Isn't this backwards? Or insincere?

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Titanwolf Established Member

Titanwolf

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Most posters here seem to agree that the first goal is to pay someone a compliment. Then you try like hell to come up with something. Isn't this backwards? Or insincere?

 

It is. A compliment should be born from the desire to express admiration for a quality or trait in a person, not from a desire that stems from lust (as many men do). When a man compliments a woman, that majority of the time, it's to try and increase his odds with her, but how about when a man compliments another man?. That's often from pure respect for a quality or a trait that that man possesses, usually attained through hard work such as a sculpted body for example. That's as sincere as it gets.

 

In a relationship though, I guess it's just "something couples do" I guess. Not for me though.

Edited by Titanwolf
ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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It is. A compliment should be born from the desire to express admiration for a quality or trait in a person, not from a desire that stems from lust (as many men do). When a man compliments a woman, that majority of the time, it's to try and increase his odds with her, but how about when a man compliments another man?. That's often from pure respect for a quality or a trait that that man possesses, usually attained through hard work such as a sculpted body for example. That's as sincere as it gets.

 

In a relationship though, I guess it's just "something couples do" I guess. Not for me though.

I found Emilia's response the most interesting, in which she described her ex just "looking" at her, possibly intimating that it held more weight and being more powerful than any compliment that he could have paid her. Obviously, that look wouldn't work on a woman who isn't attracted to you (it would probably look creepy :laugh:), but when the attraction exists, the look and the expression can say it all and more pertinently than 'empty platitudes borne of lustful desires' :laugh:.

 

I am always forthcoming about things I am impressed by, and often, as much as I love a woman's physical beauty and can never get tired of describing it, I meet so many beautiful girls these days that it is not really as impressive as their other, less noticeable traits.

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Titanwolf Established Member

Titanwolf

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I found Emilia's response the most interesting, in which she described her ex just "looking" at her, possibly intimating that it held more weight and being more powerful than any compliment that he could have paid her. Obviously, that look wouldn't work on a woman who isn't attracted to you (it would probably look creepy :laugh:), but when the attraction exists, the look and the expression can say it all and more pertinently than 'empty platitudes borne of lustful desires' :laugh:.

 

I am always forthcoming about things I am impressed by, and often, as much as I love a woman's physical beauty and can never get tired of describing it, I meet so many beautiful girls these days that it is not really as impressive as their other, less noticeable traits.

 

Yeah I understand where you're coming from. A look can be more powerful than words ever could be. Non-verbal expression has always been my favourite means of expressing my emotions. Unfortunately, in regards to the second paragraph, I'm out of my depth a little bit here lol. I don't exactly understand that feeling, but I'm sure it's a powerful one :)

KraftDinner Established Member

KraftDinner

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I dunno...

 

I have a friend who, no joke, used to look like a Victoria's Secret model. Stunning! Perfect body, gorgeous face. She'd get compliments 24/7 (sickening really, haha, yes, I get it, my friend's amazing, haha...see now, THAT gets boring, hearing how hot your friend is, ahaha). But I jest.

 

She NEVER threw it back in people's faces with 'I know' or 'I get that all the time.' She'd say 'thank you, that's nice to hear!' Or something, every time.

 

Because she's not rude or arrogant.

 

Sorry, nobody is so hot they have the right to act like a jerk.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I hate being complimented on my looks in early dating stages. It seems like a player move to get me to sleep with him ASAP. Lots of the time men think that women LOVE, LOVE compliments.

 

I would much rather be complimented on my personality. Or if I have already slept with a guy..then it's cool to hear.

 

Otherwise, if every time I see a guy he comments on my looks, I feel like he doesn't really care/see the whole package.

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mickleb Established Member

mickleb

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I'm completely with Tigress and KD on this one. This is HER nice problem to have, not yours! Ridiculous!

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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I found Emilia's response the most interesting, in which she described her ex just "looking" at her, possibly intimating that it held more weight and being more powerful than any compliment that he could have paid her. Obviously, that look wouldn't work on a woman who isn't attracted to you (it would probably look creepy :laugh:), but when the attraction exists, the look and the expression can say it all and more pertinently than 'empty platitudes borne of lustful desires' :laugh:.

 

 

Thanks :)

 

Eyes are the windows to the soul as they say and it's true. It helps if they are big and if you know how to use them. He made the remark to me once that he would never forget the way I looked at him sometimes.

 

He did have a habit of staring at me before we started dating though, it would have been strange if I hadn't found him attractive :D

 

There is something sexy about a person seemingly unable to turn their gaze away from you - probably because in our society we are taught not to stare. Of course if you are smart you know how to exploit it, especially if you are not too worried about being called a creep.

 

Staring is an action and as we know those do indeed speak louder than words sometimes.

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